Bulldog Legal Services E-blog

I said what??!!

2011-10-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

In Progress
[Narrator]: Reading The Love Dare, the Beauro of Astral Troubleshooting comes across a troubling passage....

[Kevin]: (reading from Day 195) Read Matthew 5:1-3 to see the first words out of Jesus' mouth in His first sermon printed in the Bible. To be "poor in spirit" means to be spiritually bankrupt and totallty dependent upon God at all times for all things. God's kingdom and power is at work in someone who lives like this. Will you live this way?

[Sally]: That's good?
[Tommy]: *looks at God* Sounds like a lot of work....
[Harry]: Yeah people, God's got other shit to do....
[Dick]: Especially when "H"e's in a body....

[Jesus]: Whatever.... Silas get that New Testament the Pentacostals gave us....

[Narrator]: As Silas and "The Clean Up Crew" look around Tactical Operations Command for the New Testament, Cardinal Richelieu asks Cardinal Glick:

[Richelieu]: Ok, so how many Jesus' are there?

[Cardinal Glick]: *shrugs*

[Cardinal Strauss]: Apparantly they clone themselves to talk to annoying people or act as probes to study interesting phenomena or something, that then becomes the "new" Jesus's childhood and they develop inerests and 'specialties' based on that.

[Cardinal Glick]: If I didn't experience this kind of thing every day, I'd denounce such statements as heresy....

[George Carlin]: They probably aren't actual Jesus' your emminence, more like stable factions of The Holy Ghosts....

[Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, & Jesus]: Whatever....

[Narrator]: As Silas moves the bods, "The Clean Up Crew" looks for the Bible.

[----]: What's we do with that?

[////]: I know, but I can't get it up-top....

[????]: Well keep trying, I want to get this crap done, finish the Cristopher Reeve book, and get back to the Reading about Reading file....

[....]: Yeah, then we can get to those commodities books, finish that and get back to the Dune project and the NLP books....

[++++]: Then it's casino time!

[vvvv]: Reading the books isn't going to get us to the casino, we have to save up money first....

[++++]: Whatever, by the time Silas finishes reading, we'll have the money saved up....

[Jerry Fallwell]: There it is....

[Narrator]: Looking at the box where the keep the clean clothes, Jerry sees the small New Testament stuck between the corners of the "Preaching as Counseling" book....

[A.L.]: It'll be nice when we can read this & start doing Little Nicky stuff....

[Jerry]: ...yeah....

[Jesus]: Oh here it is.... *reads* .... it looks... like they are talking about people who aren't pridefull or conceited.... but I don't... see anything in the sermon about being totally dependent an God for "all things"....

["God"]: Still.... maybe we can use this with the 'bums' & vagrants, put it in the "Helping the Animals Find Food File....

[Sally]: Don't you think that's a little demeaning--grouping the street people with the Animals?

[Michael]: No.

[God]: *smiles* Well the fact of the matter is that there isn't much magic. The street people finding food and the Animals finding food analogises well in the personal knowledge of the monkey typing on the blog...

[Tommy]: *crosses legs* Why don't the angels like the monkeys?

[God]: Because they eat and crap I suppose....

[Darell]: I think it's embarasment myself....

[Ariel]: Not this crap again....

[Harry]: Oh, *crosses legs* about what?

[God]: Now that's a story!

[Loki]: Ok, so....

[Bartleby]: Let me tell it...

[Megatron]: First some back story: Ok, so in Genesis there are actually two creations of man. First "Male and Female" (S)He created them and then "later" woman was "created" from one of Adam's ribs...

[Bartleby]: So anyway first God creates the species of man, male and female, then God takes man (a man) and puts him in the Garden of Eden--an experiment you know?

[Michael]: yeah, God's being "tight-lipped" an the subject, but we think the idea was that He'd have someone to talk to and eventually a non-power grabblin "equal" He could actually discuss things with.

[Lucifer]: Yeah, see the idea was to command/tell them not to do something and then when they were ready they could decide for themselves and God could just kind of ignore it, man would become an independent person instead of a puppet, and God could see where else the being's thoughts and actions differed from His own.

[Bartleby]: *Scowles* that's nice, but back to my story... So Genesis 6:4 documents that after man was thrown out of the Garden of Eden, the Sons of God--that's us-- had sex with the daughters of men so now, there is a little bit of angel in all of Eve's decendants.

[Sally]: And since everyone is using monkeys to build "magic," you guys have a kind of jealously thing going on, huh....

[Harry]: So the "men" you guys had sex with were pretty primitive I guess?

[Tommy]: Yeah, I mean if this is what they look like now... what were they like then? All smelly and stuff?

[Loki]: *laughs* it's not about outward appearances....

[Rufus]: Right, man was a creation of God. Talk about inner beauty.

[Lucifer]: Imagine Fucking God, just having "Him"

[God]: Well a fantasy "I" suppose....

[Lucifer]: ride your cock then grab "Him" by "His" hair and have "Him" turn around and suck it!

[Devil from Bedazzled]: *to Lucifer* the things you say!

[Narrator]: Darren holds up the book, "The Love Dare" and asks:

[Darren]: So what are we reading this for?

[Endora]: Night before last we were wondering why Britt couldn't get to sleep--

[Samantha]: We came up with a possible advasarial reason why: that what hed done today might not have been consistent or might not have pleased everyone....

[Eudora]: anyway, on the Christian station, they started talking about some books that played off the movie Courageous and compared them to or mentioned or something The Love Dare being a book inspired by the movie Fireproof....

[....]: Yeah, the angel contractor we used quoted us a price of $5-10 for the mag-net we set up in the shower and the actual cost was about $400....

[////]: The Love Dare is the book we used to program the magnets or something, all the monkey really remembers up-top is that we were reading it all night at Huddle House....

[vvvv]: we figure that since we use the shower mag-net for recording shower intensities, since we're dound aura ping work with it, if we read in the book again, it will give everybody a better foothold in the "past" (as the monkey precieves it)....

[some Angel]: Ok, now what's the big connection between the shower mag-net and that thing you guys set up in the pond?

[....]: Giving blood....

[////]: Yeah, when we were buying materials to set the thing up, we gave blood at Wal-Mart and when we were an campus Tuesday showing everybody the Food Court and email we were going to give blood,

[????]: Yeah, we thought the blood drive was sponsored by Theta Tau, but it turned out to be some king of Halloween thing.

[////]: Anyway, after we'd been sitting around at the bloodmobile for a while & the nurses' ethereals had told us we couldn't give bolld if we had a cold cause the person that go it would get one, we went to the library and on the way we 'bummed' a cigarette off a engenieering student by engeneering park....

[....]: Yeah, Britt's always showing us how to get stuff from the monkeys....

[////]: Then Britt showed us email and we did some filing like it says to in the next blog entry....

[....]: Then we put a magnet we'd had in our post office box on one of the screws in the counter where the computer is and went to the Food Court.

[vvvv]: There we lucked out, somebody had left a box with some rice in it from Panda Express and we took it to the concenience store where we bought a bananna. Then we went back to the Food Court and got a new fork before sitting down to eat in front of a tv that had a program on called "5 Things Guys Don't Want You To Know".

[Michael]: So what were we doing?

[////]: Oh... we... well "they" *points* found out that the monkeys communicate using their collective unconscious when they eat so what we're doing is "weaving" their ethereal communication into the magnetism....

[Michael]: How?

[Butthead]: Britt's got magnets set up all over Tactical Operations Command....

[Darrell]: Britt's house.

[Beavis]: That's right.

[Butthead]: ...so the idea is that anything Britt or anybody else thinks will be recorded at these listening posts on the magnetic lines of force....

[Michael]: So what does the thing in the pond do?

[Beavis]: It listens....

[Loki]: How?
[Beavis]: Well we concieved it when reading, The Drunkard's Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives"

[....]: Yeah, it's on the blog....

[Beavis]: ...so we set it up based on the boats in a harbor.three body problem; we have some fishing line harbors and our soft drink bottle boats with magnets in 'em are tied up at the center, in the bottom of the pond that "listens" to the positions of the magnets in the bottles....

[Ariel]: *shakes head* Where does campus come in to it?

[Butthead]:

http://merrelmentalhealth.com/?CHANGEME=schizophrenia%20helpc&gclid=CP-Fhve0jqwCFSNgTAod9T9Jlw

ok, but....

2011-09-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

[Peter]: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to collect electronic newsletters and file them in your email account's folders.

The names of the folders should be of your own choosing. For example, newsletters relating to cultural events might go in the "Cultural" folder while email 'spam' might go in the "Advertisement" folder....

For this exercise, you will need to establish a "god account," a disposable, free email account that can be left to accumulate spam and useless newsletters for weeks or months at a time.

A few caveats:

One (1): This is not a "job," you don't have a job--

[Cipher]: And you don't want one; if anyone offers you a job, you do what we do.... you run....

[Peter]: But, since you seem to want to help, this will do us the most good....

Two (2): Do not devote more than five (5) hours a week to this project, it's not that important... really....

Three (3): Make sure you maintain--at least--your current level of familial/social involvement... "you" are primarily an interface, if that's what got you 'here' you were likely chosen because you were useful in that capacity... we already have assets in other socio-economic slots....

Bureau of Astral Troubleshooters
cc:Bureau des Affaires Temporelles

P.S.: [Rico]: Oh, and here's a tip, use the Lycos search engine to find your god account,

[Diz]: Lycos is the only search engine that gives you signs in the physical world....

[Sawyer]: By the way guys, good idea using the career fair for cover... look, it’s just one of those things "I" guess, but we thought (up-top in Britt) that you should be aware that
I'm the template for how folks view you over here.... just something to be aware of, probably means *finger quotes* nothing, but still....

So they said, "you are more likely to get truth fom error than you are from confusion."

2011-09-01T15:03:00.001-07:00

And we were like, "....I guess, if you want an asymptotic
result...."
Yeah, lik wotEvR U/no?

Take our survey....
you guys liking this shit?

Like that?

Yeah, get this in too.

In view of recent legislation making it a crime to impersonate another online:

2011-07-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

[John]: We would like to take this opportunity to remind our readers that The Bulldog Legal Services E-Blog is not merely a joke about idiotic lawyers, who, at a loss for the proper terminology for an online journal who but have heard the term blog in common usage, assume that the proper identifier is something like e-mail....

[Eugene]: Rather, The Bulldog Legal Services E-Blog or The Blog is an online novel of sorts... or if you prefer, a diary--a non-profit, and (primarily) non-commercial endeavor (we're serious about that guys)....

[Georgia]: Its aims (not including its primary aim of amusing Britt) are three fold:

[Dick]: (1) It is a satire on American Popular Culture and the Western Philosophical Tradition in General....

[Sally]: (2) It provides expression for those of us for whom the normal expressive capabilities of the body are not readily available....

[Tommy]: (3) It allows a forum by which Britt, A private citizen of the United States of America can globally attack various public figures who are in power, possibly corrupt, and who "he" simply doesn't like....

[Ally]: The use of "others" in the form of characters borrowed from television and film is to better illustrate our content to the common person for the purpose of the first aim, listed above. As such, we claim immunity under the fair-use provisions of the copyright act for any liability resulting from alleged copyright infringement....

"He's" a Monster!Who?Britt!

2011-06-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

[Dawson]: Look, you guys only see a way to hide from your bosses and an interface for the physical world, but I'm telling you, there's no telling what Britt will do once "he" has the power to get away with anything!

[Kyle]: Yeah... whatever....

[Kenny]: Yeah, Britt's a good guy...

[Butters]: Don't let people fool you, Britt may be one of the "good guys" but "he's" evil....

[Stan]: Evil, britt?

[Cartman]: Yes... "I'm" afraid so, Britt/britt/whatever you want to call him, is in fact evil.... What were you saying Mr. Newkirk/Richard Dawson Personality Profile Guy?

[Dawson]: I was merely pointing out that Britt is a lot more materialistic than most people think....

[Kenny]: He does it for his job!

[Stan]: Yeah, you guys may call them material attachments, but the fact of the matter is that we've gotten a lot of work done these last two weeks....

[Dawson]: "I" don't doubt that, but by having Britt do things we suggest, he is locking us down in the body....

[Cartman]: How? We take every available opportunity to mess that up. Until "he" can make physical use of what he calls the "time perspective"--and "I" mean moving around in time, not setting stuff up for "himself" and apparantly knowing what's going to happen--"I" really don't think it's a problem.

Granted, you seem to have valid concerns, but I don't see the use in scarring off the help by asserting Britt's a monster... explain yourself....

[Dawson]: Perhaps I'm looking at it from too much of a monkey perspective... tell me what you guys think:

Consider:
(1) britt grew up as a fat kid whose native ethereal, That Guy, fed primarialy off rejection, revulsion, and the resulting pain....
(2) during his addolescence, britt religiously read the Loompanics Unlimited book catalog....
(3) before dropping out of Junior College and entering the Army, britt used to smoke pot in a converted closet his roommate called "a meditation chamber" while sitting in front of an Iron Maiden "Trooper" flag....
(4) after the Army, britt enrolled at State majoring in English... apparantly he figured he'd been doing it 12 years... how hard could it be?

[Stan]: That decision was made when we were still in Highschool...

[Kenny]: Yeah, that's what we majored in at the Community College too....

(5) Afterwards he entered the National Guard--not out of service or a sense of duty, but for the money-- he suffered a head injury that regressed him to an emotional age of five...
(6) after which, britt had little or no memory in the body of the substance of "his" prior courses; fearing he worldn't be able to make it in lawschool, "he" added a philosophy major and a minor in political science to buy himself more time, took only 12 hours a semester--alledgely to allow himself more time for physical rehabilitation at The Sanderson Center... lazy fuck... and speen most of his "free" time and money at the casino where he squandered his incapacitation pay insted of helping his future wife pay down her credit card bills--even after they had transferred ballances from one's account to the others for quite some time....
(7) In short, a five-year-old with no regard for the feelings of others or respect for conventional norms went to law school--where, already armed with a philosophy degree whose acquisition had told him how things worked found out why they work that way....
(8) since "his" graduation from law school he's managed to get himself fired from Don Evans' firm in Jackson, a public reprimand from the bar, and made enemies with virtuall all the powerfull people in Starkville....
(9) in addition during his retpresentation of a Heavy Metal band, he began seriously practicing sorcery and has since--pimarily expressly for this pursuit been to the mental institution once and to jail numerous times.....

[Cartman]: But Mr. Dawson, what you are missing here is that it is because of the history you describe, that we like "him" .... yes... you see, without magic or money, britt is out of options... and without any other way to improve "his" role, "he" is at our disposal....

[Kyle]: Uh... yeah... plus, we're getting lots of great work done....

[Butters]: Why just last over the last couple of weeks, we've improved the previous favored factions' communications base in greater Tippah county....

[Narrator]: Knowing this helps prove his point and might help to entice the monkeys to persecute Britt, Dawson smiles....

[Dawson]: And what, do tell, was so great about a little manual labor?

[Stan]: For a while now, we've had Britt working on a media connection project in association with "earth's" power elite; the purpose of the project--as far as Britt is concerned--is to connect all forms of media so that people on-line with him can get the same quality data feed, no matter if he is watching television, listening to the radio, reading, or engaging in a more active pursuit....

[Kyle]: Yeah, and we're listening to BBC world news at night on Mississippi Public Radio so we can work on paying attention to what's going on while the monkey's primary attention is focused on something else--or just paying atention to "the show" coming across....

[Butters]: Tell "him" about how we are using all of Britt's environment to improve Window Technology™

[Kenny]: For a while now, since we watched Spiderman II and had the idea, we've been working with what we call Window Technology™ that allows us to use multiple viewpoints like windows in a building. Since thier senses are all about the same, we not only use multiple monkeys but we have been able to build on the technology of the witches so that the other animals can be used for this purpose as well....

[Timmy]: And having britt "hold positions" when hanging on to random thoughts easily analogizes to trees swaying in the wind when one likens the wind to the monkey's stream of consciousness*....
* While we are using all the elements we have access to for the purpose using this interpretive analogy, the air can be likened to the "People" that make the trees sway and the stream of consciousness.... using the Indian concept of prana combined with the scientific description of respiration the process of breathing can be easily likened to eating--
[Cartman]: Yum Yum! you faggot ethereal bastards....
[Kyle]: Every little thing "I" do motherfucker!
*Kyle is re-affirming here "his" intent to hurt and cripple those who obstanantly stand in his way....
[Stan]: Man.... I thought we were never going to get that typed in and get the links right....

[Dawson]: See, that's my point. You guys have been using Window Technology™-- which allows you to treat individual monkeys like windows in a building-- in conjunction with a melding of Britt's acts of will on "natural acts" in order to increase your own effectiveness at expressing yourselves in the physical world. This approach is likely to spead Britt's influence--including his views on various subjects to the other monkeys....

[Kyle]: So?

[Stan]: Yeah, this approach allows us to maintain centeralized control over the development of "magic" while at the same time maintaining a decentralized egalitairian framework where any one of our bases can overrule any other base... thus keeping us in control....

[Cartman]: Plus, because not all of the monkeys are "conscious" the way Britt and the others are, we also have a generalized perspective that allows us to more easily treat ourselves as the other and validly blame the monkeys (who are in fact ourselves) for "mistakes" we made....

[Dawson]: But using this approach, you're probably going to end up with a bunch of little britt clones running around and your system of mantaining control will have to be expressed "up-top" as well....

[Kyle]: Uh.... yeah....

[Stan]: Hopefully by then we'll have enough magic that we won't need the monkeys to do stuff for us....

[Cartman]: But, for the sake of argument, Mr. Dawson, "I" would like to know more about your concerns regarding Britt's alledged instabilities....

[Dawson]: Perhaps what "I'm" talking about could be better illustrated by questioning Britt himself....

[Cartman]: Ahh... an impeachment from "his" own lips as it were... I'll arrange an interview....

* * *
[Narrator]: The following interview was conducted over a period of twenty three days using "embedded" reporters accompanying our heroes during everyday tasks. It has been edited both for content and reasons of security--regrettably the middle segment concerning various elected, self-appointed, and Bar employed idiots and bullies has been cut due to fears that the message of the later part would suffer; perhaps one of the bastards will post yet another disparaging comment and Britt can be prevailed upon to issue an uncensored response....

[Q.]: What’s the deal with you and cards anyway?

[Narrator]: Britt looks down at the Cinderella cards "he's" shuffling...

[A.]: "I" guess I’m programming myself.

[Q.]: How do you mean?

[A.]: Well, "I" know what Cinderella means... well, as much as I know what anything "means" so when "I'm" using the cards, "I'm" telling everyone paying attention that this is what "I'm" considering is important.

[Q.]: Everyone... ..... .... ....Like who?

[A.]: Different me's I guess you'd say....

[the mumbler]: all myths are myths of Brahman....
[the responsive reader]: the process of creation is eternal.... [See if can find link]
[the philosopher/psychiatrist]: It could just be the way it's coming across to "him"... *to himself* I'm not a figment of Britt's imagination, britt is a figment of MY imagination....
[the disclaimer]: The enumeration of specific interpretations is in no way specifically intended to deny the existence of other interpretations and/or realities; the....

[Q.]: Different me's?

[A.]: Yeah.... Like the "me's" that are apparently doing/observing stuff from the body, the me that wants something to eat, the me that (refer to that blog entry where talking about subconscious coalessence)

[Q.]: So you think your mind is made up of a bunch of different "you's" who work together--by co-operation or coercion--at at least some level?

[A. (Bib-wit Hart)]: Oh no.... One’s MIND is "made up" of everything one thinks and does not think; has ever and will ever think and has not thought, every outward act one does or could have done--or indeed will do or could do; and each and every pain and grumble not only of the body but of anything that would not occur but for your passage or eventual passage. The mind of one constantly infringes on the mind of another; so much so that a single monkey does not have a mind but a share of the common mind. These "people"--or selves if you will--that WE spoke of, they talk both to each other and to the monkey....

[Q.]: What is a monkey?

[A.]: An anthropormiphization of someone who makes decisions based on their "personal" preferences that neccessarialy include others who do not share those preferences... but I detect a note of self-conscious defensiveness... you are interested in what you call "you" and balk at being called a monkey....

[Q.]: Perhaps.... What then am "I"?

[A.]: "You" are nothing more than a continuity of cvonsciousness that has a continuity of memory upon which to draw. You are bound by the concequences of your actions and have a memory of those actions which specifically denotes the reasons they were taken. As such you identify with previous instances of "yourself" and consider "your" life your own....

[Q.]: But it isn't?

[A.]: No... *a committee of psychariatrists shakes their heads* "You" at the macroscopic--tangible--level is ..........you know you re not the same person you were in juniour high, yet you cannot articulate why, nor can.....
[Jack]: The http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House analogy of the bricks….
Q. Talk?
A. [The White Knight]: Oh yes…. Just as you would to the other monkey of which they are “a part” but that’s not the worst of it. You see the conscious intent of (sapient/sentient) beings is only a small part of what Shopenhaurer termed “The Will” you see The Will includes at least everything that has memory or that can have memory imputed to it… that means that The Will includes such things as planetary orbits, entropy, and the electrostatic force….
Q. [Hatter]: You’re talking about animisim you fool! I think you’re mad as a box of frogs….
A. [The White Knight]: Possibly… And until my wounds are healing instantly as I dance on your grave while the worms eat their way into your pathetic mortal coil the verdict will be out on that “I” suppose….
Q. [Alice]: What if one desired to take advantage of your theories--where would they start?
A. Well, the big hurdle is expressing one’s intent over a broader time perspective that one is normally capable of in a monkey. We see the world and our body as a gestalt within a gestalt all supported by a superstring matrix. According to this view, anything a monkey does is as ephemeral as a light breeze… to give my mind some permanence in the broader gestalt, we use magnets oriented to the magnetic field of the planet which is impacted by the magnetic fields of the sun and it’s satellites and has some reciprocation with other suns.
Q. [Alice]: Magnets?
A. Yes, they can be extremely useful in the building of devices, for instance highlighting one’s home by gluing or taping them to the corners of the walls where the ceilings and the floors meet. And they’re relatively inexpensive, a pack of ABC refrigerator magnets can be had for $1 and once the actual magnets are pried out the magnets may be cut into many separate pieces…. Our other greatest tool is the fuzzy--that’s where my arm “maps” to your arm, the calcium in my bones to the calcium in your bones, the “particles” in those atoms of “mine” to the particles in yours… if that is too much of comprehend, just look at the fire--or whatever you use for entertainment--my dear and realize that if you have uncertainty and I have uncertainty, we can simply put the two together and let everything work itself out--after all once we recognize out true nature what hurry are we in *smiles*?

INPROGRESS, though free from libel, parts of the following are insulting, crass, and may lead to outbursts of rage or other undescribed psychological phenomea--those choosing to read ahead of what the author(s) have diseminated above do so at their own risk....

Stuff to possibly include:

***censored portion***

[Narrator]: A couple of weeks later…. After everyone had cooled down….

Q. Getting up-while every one was in the middle of something--and walking, without shoes, to the barn where we played with a magnet and then walking back (a different way) across more gravel barefoot then getting out the computer to type on?
A. Oh… you guys caught all that huh?
[Kevin]: Told you they were paying attention…
A. Ok, tell me this? What were we doing?
Q. Some were watching a Bonanza episode about a little blind girl others has identified with the Holy Ghost…
Q. The little girl was found by Little Joe and Hos and was cared for by Ben Cartright until foster parents could be found…
Q. Her grandfather was a hermit who had been wrongly convicted of murder 20 years ago….
Q. The episode ended on a Christmas scene but the monkey could not adequately articulate the emotion felt by the other monkey watching the program across the nation….
A. Why was this?
Q. They [our monkey] were primarily engaged in reading a book called The Science of Superstition; we are reading it as a part of our strategy book charging of the charm necklece we are taking to the casino. When we get to the casino we will continue the reading of the superstition book….
A. And why are we reading The Science of Superstition?
[Fight Club]: To reevaluate our data gathering and epistemological technuiques sir!
Q. What of these things master; why did we stop?
A. About ¾ of the way down the left page, many had a visualisation regarding the magnetic experiment we began earlier this morning. We “played” with the magnet in an attempt to explain/highlight a feature of cars we had noted earlier.
Q. Experiment?
A. Yes. Before Earthly Father Left this morning, he told us to rake the floor of the hay barn. Once we got to the worksite, someone said we needed to move the vehicles parked there. We came back to the house to retrieve the Truck keys and it was suggested that we put magnets on the south side of the house so they could observe the highway. It was agreed that we would do so if we could find the Truck keys as it was thought for some reason that doing so might represent the resolution of some trap our “enemies” had set in our path…
Q. But there were no truck keys master….
A. Yes… good thing that as the vehicles were on the opisite side of the barn as the part we were assigned to clean--it would have been a lot of work for nothing….
Q. Still, it was decided to put out magnets anyway?
A. Yes. We put magnets primarily on the South Fence so that they could monitor the electromagnetic field of the power lines and it’s variation as refrigerators and air conditioners come on and go off and electrical appliances are used.
[Geordi]: The magnets also sense the changes in the field as cars travel along the highway….
Q. From whence does this disruption occur?
[Data]: From the iron containing steel frame of the vehicles, the moving iron containing parts, the magents in alternators and speakers--
[S.I.D.]: Actually, what the monkeys call magnetism is only a small part of it--what we are really studying are the macroscopic quantum signatures that arise from the gestalt behavior of large numbers of atoms, molecules and energy quanta…
Q. Oh yes… it was thought that by putting out the magnets while preparing to do the asigned work, we would get it in our context so that in the “future”--or the “past”--when someone enlisted our assistance we would make sure to get done what was important to us….
A. Yes, that’s right….
Q. And we were originally enlisted to get 4 magnets…
Q. No… (not to contradict anyone) but that was yesterday; we had been repairing fences with Earthly Father and people identified several points where they would like magnets….
Q. Right, we had originally been instructed to put a magnet on the “hot” wire of an electric fence and another magnet on a non electrified surface to use as a control group…
Q. We got one magent from one side of the shelf nails in the storm shelter and one magnet from the other side of the shelf nails….
Q. The shelving had been built by Britt and “his” Earthly Father on a pevious mission to this constellation…
Q. During which the Holy Ghost solved and communicated to Britt a problem Earthly Father had informed Britt about; Britt had then suggested the solution to earthly father who acted on it--*spiral eyed* thus establishing a plateau from which we could base ethereal control of mortal “acts of will”!
Q. Yes, we were to get 4 magnets because during that visit, we had also loaded some bricks with Earthly Father--who is a Mason--and their number had been a multiple of four.
[Beavis]: Plus, there are four blocks in every Tetris piece and we play Tetris alot…
[Butthead]: Yeah, we’ve got it synched to our solitaiure….
Q. But then someone said to get eight (8) magnets….
[Riker]: Right… so we separated the four into two groups of two while the monkey was looking at the bricks we’ve collected with earthly father and went back to the storm shelter to get 4 more magnets….
Q. So we put the eight magnets out on the Northwest to Notheast fence line using the storm shelter as a reference point…
[Geordi]: *to Riker* Do you thing we should tell them that the compas directions are independent of geographic reference points?
[Riker]: *holds up hand in a pause gesture and smiles* no… this is a good way for them to think of it….
Q. The points chosen corresponded to points at which significant events--primarly in communication with “nature“-- occurred….
[Riker]: Right, we’re treating nature and the voice/feeling tentatively identified as Nox (as interpreted from Piers Anthony novels)/nature as a neutral…
Q. And those were put out when the work had ended and Britt was “alone” at the house and was about to watch a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode….
[Picard]: Right… we found out when we got in that the episode had been about an orphaned member of the Q who was just learning about her powers….
[Dr. Crusher]: But Britt had seen the episode before and “his” subconscious might have seen it as a “go signal” for that very reason…
[Butthead]: So?
[Beavis]: Yeah… I mean we’d benn planning the mission half the day anyway--no one in the monkey knew that was coming on on the evening we were putting out magnets….
Q. Then after we got back, we saw the episode about the Kardashian torturing Picard….
[Niles]: *smiles* no…. no… that was a Cardassian, not a Kardashian….
[Fraisher]: I suppose the confusion results from the similar sound of the name….
[Smith]: Yes, you see, Britt was doing something with the Power Elite in the Barnes & Nobel book store on campus one day and on one of the tables was a book abot the Kardashians--a family of Earth celebrities….
[Eric]: *laughs* So we began refering to our association with Britt as the Kardashian empire---
[Niles]: a joke really….
Q. And we set up a “flight plan” on Direct TV and turned off the television before going to bed….
A. Right…
[Bones]: *grins* So the Direct TV people would think we’d watched television all night….
[Kevin]: *smirks* there was more to it than that--Picard had started psychotically torturing/retaliating against his antagonist, so we picked out a “training regimen” based on monkey “brainwashing” techniques and monitored the data flow into the Direct TV reciever using known points of reperence within the house--or so my staff tells me up-top in the mokney… to tell the truth…*[*decloak!*]*
[Bones]: I really don’t know what I’m talking about half the time….
Q. And it was after this that we decided to put out the magnets on the South fence line…
Q. And while we were doing so, lots of people worried about how we would explain our presence on the side of the road if earthly father came back before we were done…
A. Right… Judge Ishee, Stephanie Mallate, and “his” Earthly Mother sent Britt to the mental institution once so Britt likes to have innocuous reasons of things “he does in public”…
Q. But no one could think of a good explanation…
[Riker]: Thank God we got done before he came back!
Q. And the reason we left the Bonanza epesode and the book had something to do with this?
A. Yes… after we got back to the assigned task, we were raking the barn floor and someone noticed the similarity to scratching, so we pointed to the raking, demonstrated scratching, and went back to raking--
[O’Brien]: “Someone” that voice/feeling thing I guess--where you just know and could easily articulate the new data but realize there is no point in doing so….
[Parry]: Based on the Description of Nox in my book [link For Love of Evil]….
[O’Brien (Whose actor also plays the King of Hearts in the Sci-Fi original Alice (verify)]: Yes… I suppose….--suggested that we do the demonstration without talking off our gloves so as not to confuse anyone about what was important….
A. So when we were watching the episode and reading, we got the request to demonstate something else with the Truck….
Q. What had we demonstrated with the t(T)ruck?
A. We took a bar magnet from the Storm Shelter, opened the hood then highlighted the magnet containing alterenatior with it and looked at what we though was the started motor…
[Asshole Starfleet Captain]: *gestures* Then, with the hood still raised, we looked at the engine and hung the magnet from some steel (iron containing) pipes on the East side of the hay barn, then shut the hood and went about our assigned mission of raking the floor….
A. So when we got to the midde of the page spread and the monkey’s “Conscious mind” was about to lose the ability to tell what was important, we used the uncertainty to make the trip to the barn to dempnstrate the magnets in the speakers of vehicles….
[Kevin]: and we didn’t put on the shoes because someone was mirroring/remembering not taking of the gloves on the previos demonstation….
Q. Then we placed the magnet on the speaker of the weather radio we were listening to as we did the work that morning…
A. Right, we wanted to highlight the magnet with the updated on the regional weather to mirror the magnetic monitoring of the weather in the storm shelter…
[General from Hogan’s Heroes]: And how are we doing that?
[Newkirk (pharmacist actually)]: We have a radio in the storm shelter admidst the magnets that is set on WOAI 1200--an AM station out of San Antonio, Texas that only comes in a night….
[Black Staff Seargant]: We use it in conjunction with the regional radar map on Direct TV so that the monkey can monitor the weather in San Antonio, here at earthly father’s, and at the base near Starkville…
[Lebeau]: We put the radio out there during a storm Wednesday before last so that we could measure electro-magnetic disruptions apparently caused by flashes of lightning….
[General]: Impressive….
[Hogan]: *shrugs* Whatever; this sorcery crap is just some stuff we found under the waterfall-if you know what I mean--the important thing is that the magnets synch with Earth’s magnetic field which “senses” the other planetary and solar magnetic fields--all of which “sense” electro-magnetic quanta of starlight from other suns in the local group each of which “senses” other stars and celestial phonema ad infinitum…
Q. So what was the issue we stated typing about?
A. Ohh…. When we highlighted the t(T)ruck’s speaker magnets and identified them with the speaker magnet on the weather radio, we were asked to leave the radio on so that we could continue to monitor the weather from that location; that was problematic because we didn’t have a satisfactory explanation in case earthly father heard we’d left it on and asked us about it. It was though we should feed the animals in that sector tonight but upon further consideration, it was determined that it would “look” weird/be something to remember/ cause agitation so we just turner the radio down and left the magnet stuck to the speaker.
[Guy from Traitor]: If he asks, we’ll just tell Earthly Father we’re running an experiment…
Q. Ok, now what did we just do?
A. We were washing dishes… the window “above” the sink looks out onto the storm shelter…. And Earthly Father went to look as the hay the other monkey cut “yesterday” or the day “before” an when he came back in he said he was going to go over to Prentis county to look at some “new” kind of hay that is a re-introduction of two grasses to the local eco-system--as “I” said it is made up of two separate grasses, “bluegrass”/”blue stem”/something’ and “Indian Grass” --
Q. We notice your tounge is in what you call a kundalini circuit.
A. Right, we’ve been using the circuit a lot since the page in the book we learned it from disappeared….
Q. Disappeared? Torn out?
A. No… the page just disappeared--we figure we maybe either haluginated it or changed timelines--
Q. Are halucinations a problem?
A. No.
[Jack]: Shit, I wish….
[Levar Burton’s “Soul”]: (reading rainbow link) [Geordi]: magic would be easy then, this stuff is as obstanantly existant for Britt as for any other monkey… we just noticed one time re-reading the book that the diagram wasn’t in there.
Q What book?
[Bones]: Vibrational Medicine [link].
Q. What does the circuit do?
[Bones]: Supposedly a circuit runs from the top of the mouth behind the teeth throug all the body’s chackras and up to the tip of the tounge, we heard once--”up-here” we think that Chinese people read this way.
Q. And the monkey believes “he” has ten (10) major chackras, not the usual seven (7)?
[Guy from Traoitor]: Yes… the original chackra mapers were sittiong down when the data “came across” and ignored the thy, calf and foot chackras… we think that’s why the root chackra has such a “bad” reputation--too compressed; we believe the other three chachora are especially important for the aura--especially from a “time” perspective as it is the feet and the legs that typically get the rest of the body in a position where it an make “physical” lockdowns…. The monkey used it to explain things it is doing and the reasons therefore to the rest of the body, including--of course-- the aura….
A. we asked earthly father if we could tag along; some people wanted to get cigarettes so we culd study how the monkeys’ subconscious use them as we’ve been studying food and drink….
A. a suggested role reason was social--being interested in things Earthly Father was interested in--
A. On the way we picked up an older friend/cousin of earthly father’s; they shared the “front” seat while we rode in the “back” ….
Q. We’re still doing the media connection project right?
[Data]: Yes, of course…. The original motivation for coming up here was a family reunion, “nature” seems to be basin a lot on Britt and the other teenage witches’ social interactions….
[Hanibal Lecter]: But Britt isn’t a teenager… is he…
[Data]: About five (5) years ago, Britt et. al. (a portion of the Devil Club really) “caught” a grouping of Starkvill High and Starkville Academy girls having a public meeting at Strangebrew cohhee house, near the end of the meeting one of them mentioned that she had to get to church… it was Wednesday… and Al “said“, “now that’s a coven! From there Britt got all the female teenagers practicing Magic and since has amassed a following od twenty-somethings as well…. We use them for teaching the bodys celular processes how things are supposed to work…
[Beavis]: Cigarett request…
[Geordi]: We should take this…
[Data]: it will be difficult for them to follow and they are meant to be independent bases for you guys…
Q. [Picard]: make it so…
[Eric]: Can we get so more voices involved?
[Janeway]: Sorry, we watched most of a Star Trek marathon on the Sci-Fi Channel we’ll update our supply of them as we watch more programs….
[Chakotay]: That will have to hold us until we get back to Britt’s DVD collection…
[Georidi]: (somewhere in the bowels) What’s on televoisoion now?
[Chakotray]: Something on the Weather Channel called “Hand of Fate….”
[Ba’lana]: *to Geordi* That explains it. What was the power surge earlier?
[Commander Data]: We had a few cigarettes…
[Ba’lana]: *surprised* How many!
[Tom Paris]: *smiling* three (3)…
[Riker]: 3 is technically chain smoking…
[Picard]: It seemed advisable… acting on suggestion you know….
[Ba’lana]: Update the inventory--cigarette pack integrity is down 20 percent. *to assistant* for Christ sake, we can get the body/aura his with OTC pain relivers, there’s no need to go around smelling like an ash tray….
Q. What was that we were saying about families just now?
[Kyle]: Oh, “I” was saying that that families seem to be a way for the suppressed people in the subconscious’s of the monkeys to communicate…
[Cartman]: Something to talk about?
[Eric]: Yes… it seems to be a shared comm net centered not only on breeding and “self/conglomerate” preservation, but a way for the over-arching People of each family grouping to attain a greater range of physical expression….
[Cartman]: *taking notes* and we learned this from observing Earthly Father and his 90 year old cousin who lives alone, tends to his cows, his garden, and mows his own yard in 90 degree weather?
[Stan]: Well, the whole family reunion thing really, nature has been using them ever since observing--through Britt, earthly father’s mother’s family….
[Cartman]: And we’re doing the same thing with teenage coven members?
[Stan]: Yeah, the coven as it exists throughout the universe initially based in Britt’s personal knowledge on the American teenagers observed in Strangebrew Coffee Shop 5 or 6 years ago…
[Eric]: Once in the coven, always in the coven….
[Stan]: Right… from what we understand, some are in their twenties now and desirous of children….
[Cartman]: And with the context running both ways--infinity to infinity--Britt has that segment everywhere?
[Stan]: *grimaces* yes… as long as Britt is bound by time, it has been thought best to progress his temporal holdings in accordance with “his” personal knowledge…
[Cartman]: *wearing a party arm band* but you do not agree….
[Stan]: *shrugs* It is not in my power to make the decision…. I concur so that it might be thought by my associates that the decision could not have been made without my acquiescence…
Q. We were talking about the trip….
A. Yes… so we got a soft pack of Marlboro lights, a cigar , a lighter, a carbonated beverage, and a pack of BC powders on the way back…
[….]: But at the friend’s house we picked up a cigarette butt in the yard…
[////]: Right, it was out of the role but it maped to britt’s nature job-- “he’s” in Dryad Force Alpha pluse it mapped to primate grooming behavior and we’re trying to clean up everyone’s image with the monkeys…
[????]: Hey.. They’re talking about that other relative in there, he called….
[****]: Probably has something to do with the rest of that tree that fell in the storm….
[++++]: all we have to do is split it and load it up…. What’s the ETA on that wood splitter?
Q. And now we can study cigarettes before neutral Sunday, play “hooky” from Sunday school, walk down to the convenience store, and get another pack…. After we go to the ATM “God” wanted to overdraw the account last month and we “need” the monkey to know “exactly” ho much is in there…
[….]: Hey, you guys want to go down to McDonalds and get some good coffee?
[Smith]: I suppose we should since we won’t be visiting the Catholics while we’re up here…
Q. Huh?
[Eric]: Britt likes to take everyone to Catholic church so they can see what the monkeys did to Jesus…
[????]: It’s about more than that….
[////]: Britt likes Catholic church because it is the same everywhere--like McDonalds…

Q. Why does the monkey use Lycos instead of the search engine that comes up when the browser is started?
A. [Geordi]: The popularization of the Lycos mascot, the black Labrador Retriever, was perhaps the GREATEST thing to happen to sorcery in the early 21st century! Because of it’s broadly associative physical analogues: lab, dog, pet, dark animal, shadow… the Lycos mascot could provide signs “off-line” as well as “on-line.” But even further, monkeys using Lycos for sorcery purposes were able to teach all manner of spirits and entities to find the information they required by stating what they wanted and following signs. It seems to work best by “cutting” off the web address after the second slash, typing in the lycos address, and pressing the “Enter” button--that way, the monkey (or entity) is symbolically starting where they are and is able to query the universe itself for the requested information.

Q. Don’t you ever get tired of “people” screwing up what you’re trying to do?
A. [Kevin]: Nah… we consider it a macroscopic reflection--I mean, they’re going to be fucking shit up anyway right? In our view it’s better for it to be right here than to catch it on the freeway, know what I mean? Besides, I shouldn’t have to be doing all this goddamn work any way….
A. Yeah, britt said that when we get it like we want it, stuff will just work out for us (as far as “he” can monkey concieve)… until then, we’re assuming the result and taking everything for granted--like the rest of the monkeys do…super fluidity link
A. *looks out of the screen* To do this at home, just picture yourself floating down the stream of consciousness in an inner tube--ignore all those kyackers if you can, the monkeys have shit to do--what you need to do is just let things come to you, if you see something you want and feel like it, go a head and paddle over there, but for the most part, let things go--if you don’t get what you had your eye on, maybe it’s best--afterall, it’s not your intent for something you wanted in a moment to be a burden on you later…
A. *damnin!* YOU IDIOT! I told you, you’re just highlighting shit….. Now ANY Monkey can figure it out!

http://asimpleexplanation.blogspot.com/2010/04/free-will-and-quantum-foam.html
Level 2 (way some look at--tegmark blimps and stuff

Level 1: physical world (macroscopic--monkey interface, the way the think of it)
Level 2: Magnifing glass
Level 3: Microsope
Level 4: Electron microscope
Level 5: Emo bumps, why we feel the things we feel, like, love, lust, envy, rage, etc. (Musical notation analogy)
Level 6: the level of quantum foam

http://www.swami-krishnananda.org/upanishad/upan_08.html
http://shaktisadhana.50megs.com/Newhomepage/Frames/messageboard/SAM.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvJuFyLfCjc
http://www.experiencefestival.com/wp/article/the-chakras-gateways-into-universal-consciousness

[Dale's idea--Masons against it]: Maybe do an expose thing, building on the amount Direct TV could know about you and how individuals were probably grouped into large marketing dfemographics... but... if individuals were monitored and targeted, here is a way they could influence their subconsciouses to get their monkeys to do things--the cumulative effect of which might not be apparant for years....like playing chess withe people

http://www.symantec.com/connect/articles/steganography-revealed
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steganography
http://www.garykessler.net/library/steganography.html
http://www.jjtc.com/Steganography/toolmatrix.htm
http://www.strangehorizons.com/2001/20011008/steganography.shtml
http://www.jjtc.com/Steganography/

--maybe throw in a standard experimentation conspiracy too

[Advertizment]: Make the blog come alive! .... nah, we're just making a note to ourselves:
http://text-to-speech.imtranslator.net/
http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/tts_example.php?sitepal
http://www.text-speech.com/download.htm
http://www.naturalreaders.com/free_version.htm (http://www.naturalreaders.com/index.htm)

You Sunday blogger you.… (Formerly titled “Just Another Neutral Sunday…wish it was Monday… that’s my fun day….”

2011-06-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Coming home from church Britt’s earthly father sees Britt occasionally drinking from two cups of coffee hurriedly and asks him what "he’s" doing....

[Dawson]: See, "I" think we need to include the part about Britt skipping Sunday School and instead going to McDonalds™...

[That Guy]: Yeah, but if we did that we'd need to explain how First Baptist in Ripley has "big" church first and then breaks up into Sunday School groups....

[....]: Which, if you think about it, is better from an ethereal communication perspective....

[////]: Yeah, the other way the preacher is just enforcing a broad collective view on top of whatever was discussed in Sunday School.... the way Ripley First Baptist does it, rather than being subsumed into the broader whole, individual and small group viewpoints are developed more fully after being initially aired in the main body....

[Narrator]: This entry is supposed to be fairly short....

[????]: Yeah, no one could agree on the other draft entries we composed earlier this week detailing our activities with magnets, fencing, storm damage, power lines, cars, highways, and other stuff....

[Dawson]: Ok... *shrugs* whatever....

* * *

[Narrator]: *clears throat* After picking Britt up from McDonalds™, Britt and his Earthly Father drive home from church. Seeing Britt--occasionally hurriedly-- drinking alternately from two cups of coffee he asks what Britt is doing....

[Earthly Father]: What are you doing, switching between coffee and a milkshake?

[Britt]: Oh... this? *Holds up a frappe* this is one of those frozen coffees--a caramel frappe; it has a sweet taste and the other *holds it up* is a regular small coffee with just cream--it has kind of a flat, dry taste. I’m alternating between the two using the sweet one for elation and the dry one to calm things down in response to signs I notice from the road or things referenced in the "past"...

[Britt]: like back there *gestures with head* Rex (the preacher) referenced Springdale Baptist Church during the service, so I took a sip of each while we were in front of it, hoping my subconscious would realize the connection--or at least recognize that it was important for some reason...

[Earthly Father]: *silence*

[Britt]: See, my theory is that the body is just a bunch of atoms and molecules and only a small percentage of these notice visual and auditory input, noticing instead cellular process and possibly “magnetic” ambient stimuli.

[Britt]: So what I’m doing is an attempt to connect the main of my subconscious (which I believe to be composed of these cells and molecules minding their own business) with my conscious mind--which "I" feel--or at least have been brought up to think--is represented by my stream of consciousness but in reality is both that and my "outward" acts--

[Hatter]: This guy thinks we're a nut....

[That Guy]: Yeah... more of an idiot really; our story is that we regressed emotionally after a closed head injury sustained in a car wreck on the way to Guard drill in 1996. The resultant trauma apparently left us in an emotional state similar to the one we were in when we were between 4 and 6. Back then we used to mix up "potions" out of food and drink items as well as out of the colognes he brought back from business trips to hotels all over the county--since the wreck, we've been following our intuition and paying attention to "signs"...

[Dawson]: Oh... so he knows the monkey's history?

[Kyle]: Yeah... we also used to build "river boats" out of patio furniture and weaponry out of "junk" in our maternal grandfather's junk pile that had the expressed intent of "bringing down the Space Shuttle"....

[Cartman]: Hey, remember what That Guy said when Granddaddy asked Britt why he'd want to do that?

[Stan]: *smiles* Yeah... he shrugged and said, "I don't know." *laughs*

[Dawson]: *shrugs looking at the file* Why not? We’ve got a certified, service connected 10% "undefined mental disability" in the role... we might as well use it for something....

[Earthly Father]: Huh...

* * *

[Narrator]: Meanwhile, in an insignificant "corner" of the Pegasus Galaxy, a mother asks her teenage daughter why she's holding her hands in a certain way....*

*though likely, the teen may have only dabbled in the occult and may not be an actual "witch"....

[teenager]: *looks down and sees her thumb touching her ring finger* Oh.... It’s kind of like "tying a string around your finger to remember something"*

* a physical impossibility

Yeah, Marcy--my friend that graduated last year--told me that in a class called Study Skills she was taking in college they told her to write down things that occurred to her in the margin as she was taking notes so they wouldn’t be a distraction.

Then, a few months ago, I was reading some magazine and they said that the ancient philosophers and sophists used to make reminders to themselves so they wouldn't forget important facts*....

*[her mumbler subroutine™]: Actually, I’m kind of lying to the monkey... we feel this is an explanation she will more likely accept and one which will not get us committed to the mental institution; it is our intent that the "lie" will act as "cover" so that her greater subconscious will not be deceived by our apparent untruth....

[teenager]: Yeah... apparently, it worked at a subconscious level and they just automatically acted on the information they intended to remember....

[Mother]: So you’re taking notes? What about?

[teenager]: Uh... I’m not really sure, I just kind of do it now--it's sort of on automatic I guess--did you notice when I did it? Maybe it related to what we were talking about at the time...

[Mother]: *shakes head* I just noticed it....

[teenager]: oh... it’s probably something that occurred to me that I didn’t want to be bothered with it right then so I made the circuit--the circle--and just let my subconscious wonder about why, while my brain thought about it some more... that’s what the article said to do... *nods*

[Mother]: What magazine was this?

[teenager]: *thinks* something from Llewellyn I guess... *says* uh, I don't really remember; I was just bored and saw it laying around so I started flipping through it... you know?

* * *

[Narrator]: Once they have arrived back at his earthly father’s cattle ranch, Britt attempts to ensure neutrality and maintain his synch with the congregation by starting something new....

[Dawson]: What’s "he" doing?

[That Guy]: Right now he’s interrupting the Direct TV flight plan....

[Dawson]: Flight plan?

[Kyle]: Yeah, we set it up before we went to church so the Direct TV people would think we were watching television....

[Cartman]: Yeah... but we think they can tell if people are in the room and maybe where the remote is too....

[Dawson]: Why do we think that?

[Kenny]: *grins* It’s a joke really. Britt and his earthly father were talking one time about how Direct TV had to know where you were so you could get the local weather on it....

[Stan]: And then we had Britt mention and demonstrate to EF that they kept track of the most popular shows--what the people watching Direct TV were watching--

[Kenny]: probably for advertising purposes... anyway, they started speculating on what else Direct TV might know....

[Cartman]: *laughs* actually it all goes back to when Britt was 6, living in a subdivision called North Haven Woods in Columbus... back then he wouldn't sit around in his underwear watching television because he was convinced the news people could see him....

[Jerry]: It's really just something to have fun with...

[Dale]: Fun my ass! Do you realize what it means if they have those capabilities?

[Kenny]: Whatever, they're just accumulating demographic information so the advertisers can better target potential customers and they can use the ad revenue to keep subscription prices low....

[Dawson]: Now what’s he doing?

[....]: He’s interrupting "How To Make Enemies and Alienate People," putting the selector on "Jerry McGuire" for a "jump point" and trying to find a church service....

[????]: Apparently there isn't one on close by....

[////]: Oh wait... I think we’ve found something... yes, we’re putting it on coverage of The French Open....

[Kenny]: Tennis? Earthly Father won’t want to watch tennis!

[Cartman]: Then he can change it; Britt uses tennis as a metaphor for conversation....

[Dawson]: What’s he doing now?

[Kyle]: We're reading a page-spread in The Science of Superstition and turning the page so it won't look like were trapping the new people we met at church and at McDonalds when "feel" like getting back to it....

[Dawson]: "feel" ?

[Kyle]: Yeah, Britt doesn't really like reading, it's too easy for "people" to change your context--you know, what happens in the ambient environment when "your" main attention is in/on a word and when you go to the bathroom, when you get finished, that kind of thing... "he'd" rather watch television or something....

[Stan]: Now we’re playing Tetris so it will be different too....

[Dawson]: Should we play with the Cinderella™ solitaire cards?

[Stan]: Nah... we’ve got the Tetris game synched with the deck by recording each shuffle by getting a "line" in the game after every shuffle set--Britt uses 4 shuffles per set: one like he's shuffling tarot cards, 2 regular shuffles, and another tarot card shuffle... it's a bunch of trouble to do it that way, but it's worth it...

[Cartman]: Yes... see Tetris is a more controlled environment than solitaire--the timing of play is not a constant in solitaire, and sometimes the cards get out of order; which is fine if you’re synching with the status quo but for our purposes would only lead us to distraction as we wondered what each little thing was about--

[Dawson]: Why solitaire?

[Stan]: *shrugs* they learned it in jail--apparently it gives the monkey something to think about for "cover" while the native ethereals (part of the subconscious) sort through data and make plans....

* * *

[Narrator]: After Britt has changed into "his" house clothes and is outside smoking a Camel Crush™ cigarette ...bought while skipping Sunday School....

[Stan]: You know... since nobody can agree on what to post for a blog entry, we should just type up this afternoon's events....

[Cartman]: Good idea, I’ll see if we can get it "up-top"....

* * *

[Jesus]: That’s it?

["God"]: I thought we were going to include some of the dialogue from the earlier drafts....

[Allah]: *shrugs* this is what happens when no one can agree--people do something anyway....

[Dawson]: And we wouldn't want to appear to be violating Neutral Sunday by bringing up stuff that happened last week....

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[Jesus]: Hey earth kids!

[Narrator]: We're going to post some interviews Britt did earlier in "his" Family Reunion adventure but we want the last post to be really visible for a little while....

[Steve-O]: If you want to get in on the fun, we're going to make it easy for ya!*

*Participation in the forthcoming "experiment" constitutes "dabbling" in the "occult" even if such dabbling is done only at an unconscious/"sub"conscious level. Since, as a monkey you have no control of your subconscious influences and agreements, your best defense is to affirmatively deny belief in anything you've read on this website... by way of making it known that we are playing all sides of the game, in an attempt to ensure a level playing field, you should know that your subconscious might--and is hereby advised to--assume that you, the monkey, is attempting to censor readily available data so that it is not available for computation and to take whatever standard countermeasures are usually employed in such cases; we would advise contacting friends and asking them if they know anything about the subject...

[Joe]: All you have to do is remember what you've done over the last month and try to relate it to some broader purpose...

[Steve-O]: Whether you are "intentionally" doing magic or just trying to get through your pathetic little monkey existence, it's supposed to work... try it....

Huh!

2011-04-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

[Beavis]: Well I'll be damned....

[Butthead]: What?

[Beavis]: Friday night, we were listening to the 80's show on 99.9 and Jessee Ventura was a studio guest....

[Butthead]: Yeah... so?

[Beavis]: Well he said the same kind of Flouride in the drinking water was a major component of anti-depressants like Prozac and Paxil and that it made the monkeys more docile....

[Butthead]: Oh yeah..... does it?

[Beavis]: Yep... that's what this says....

This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by:
Conspiracy Theory

[Jerry]: Yeah, me and Dale are working on getting our own blog....

[Dale]: If anyone is willing to type it up for us, we'd be much obliged....

No Title?Nah.... We're like....not finished yet....

2011-04-06T09:24:00.000-07:00

[Bobby]: Woahhhh.... that was some dream huh?

[Ally]: You ass hole....

[Elaine]: Really Bobby, have a little class.....

[Beavis]: Ok, so what are we supposed to cover? I want to hit the Union when the most people are there for charging up the charm necklace....

[Butthead]: Uh, we saw Source Code instead of MARS Needs Moms, we're back to the food court/superstition book/charm necklace project in preparation for the casino project, and Britt's promoting whole buildings of people again (current students only, limitations and exclusions apply....)--oh yeah, and on that part we're supposed to put in a few lecherous comments and stuff....

[Beavis]: Uh.... yeah... ok, let's table this and come back to the public library and finish this entry....

* * *

[Narrator]: ...Much later....

[....]: Never got back to this one did we?

[????]: Nah... busy day huh?

[////]: I'll say, we got a lot done though....

[****]: Yeah, a lot of crap; you guys think it was really necessary to have that steak and 3 hour buffet?

[J]: I don't know, we had been getting signs about steak....

[Dude]: and it worked in nicely with the Wall Street Journal article that we were reading...

[K]: Hell I don' know...

[Ty]: Maybe it is all one big mind game we play with ourselves...

[Sam]: But I can tell you this...

[Two-Face]: I don't like to lose....

Burned Your Dictionary Yet?

2011-03-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

[Some "Big G"]: Now what were you saying....

[Loki]: What I wanted to know was what were we supposed to blog about? But More importantly, what's that going on to Britt's right?

[a little guy]: Apparently a guy named Allen Basswell is talking to Linda Tree--or something.

[Al]: Linda used to be the president of the Tupelo Writer's society, she came to the library today because she thought there was a meeting of The Poetry Society at 1:00....

[Keehley]: But the librarian said the meeting was at 10:00--so....

[the "Big G"]: Damn. We missed it....

[Hatter]: Right.... that's why Linda was talking to Allen....

[Alex]: The librarian also told her that Allen was with the Poetry Society....

[Sally]: Ohhhhh... ok, I was kind of lost there... what's happening on Britt's "other" side?

[Bateman]: This is GREAT!!!

[Connor]: To our left is Britt's high school classmate, Amy Franks. Amy was married to the same man for 16 years and most recently they lived in Carthage. But when he left her for another woman she moved back to Starkville....

[Dixie]: That's horrible! ....

[Mary Jo]: Now was he from around here?

[Connor]: No.... he was from Philadelphia....

[Ty]: Was he an Indian?

[Data]: We thought about asking that....

[Geordi]: But.... we decided against it.

[Sally]: *looking around* What are we doing here?

[That "Big G"]: Why does the monkey always do that?

[Beavis]: What?

[That "Big G"]: open new browser windows by going to the start menu?

[Harry]: It's more secure than taking *finger quotes* their short cut...

[Dale]: *taking a drag off a cigarette* He'd get to it through DOS but the command prompt has been disabled by "our" administrator....

[Tommy]: We came here to see what Starkville's gestalt consciousness had left for us on the "freebie" table at the Public Library.

[Dick]: Right.... we just ate at the Presbyterian church where we had--

[Dale]: Hang on... *looks side to side* I want to change locations and emplace this magnet *holds a small bar magnet up* before we finish the entry....

[Harry Mitchell]: Right *points index finger in the air and waves it in a circle* ....

* * *

[Narrator]: At a new... more secure... location:

[Sally]: You were saying?

[Dick]: Oh... hang on *pulls out a paracompass*.... just have to....

[Kirk]: Get my bearings....

[Spock]: There. As I was saying, we recently ate at the Presbyterian church, the same place we ate Thursday night....

[Sally]: That was good can we eat there every day?

[Spock]: No... only Tuesday and Thursday at 6:00 and Saturday at 11:30....

[Sally]: Awww....

[Spock]: Continuing our discussion, they were having spaghetti again--

[Beavis]: I love spaghetti....

[Butthead]: I like all Italian food... did you know that Italian pizza is not the same as American pizza?

[Beavis]: What's diff-er-ent about it?

[Butthead: I don't know... we were just listing to one of those shows on NPR and they said that....

[Spock]: but in addition, they had green beans and whole kernel corn. Since Britt's earthly mother--

[Mary Jo]: She is such a nut...

[Belthazor]: She needs to have a car wreck...

[The Angel of Death]: That hasn't been done yet? Britt put in his order years ago...

[Butthead]: You missed.

[Death]: *casts a quizzical look* Oh... why do you say that?

[Butthead]: Because his earthly father had a car wreck across from a national guard armory...

[Beavis]: *sighs* yeah, apparently she made out with some general years ago or something. That's how we know you missed see, cause for monkey context alterations we mainly use personal connection and we get a lot done when the monkeys make out....

[Spock]: brought some Campbell's soup that had green beans and whole kernel corn in it, we "weaved" the green beans and whole kernel corn they served at the church before eating the spaghetti that was the main course.

As you might recall, "I" said they were having spaghetti "again". This is not to suggest a common occurrence. Rather, I meant that they also served spaghetti Thursday. So... to symbolize that Britt's earthly mother is just an ordinary monkey rather than someone powerful enough to casually affect Britt's context, we *interlocks fingers* connected the spaghettis, thus ushering her back into the collective consciousness where she can only serve as an embarrassment in the role and not cause any real trouble.

[Sally]: Sounds good. OK, now somebody was saying that we went to the public library afterward.

[Tommy]: That would be me. After finishing the meal, we went to the public library to see what Starkville's gestalt consciousness had left for britt on the "freebie table" --

[Dale]: *shouts* pee break!

[Beavis]: Get so more water too.

[Tommy]: Right, Britt thinks Starkville leaves books to alter his "context" at the public library....

[Sally]: That's crazy!

[Data]: There is evidence to suggest Britt had some kind of breakdown while working for Don Evans in Jackson....

[William Riker]: He has been to the mental institution....

[Beavis]: Yeah, Judge Eshee and his earthly mother put him there....

[Al]: Will this get Britt in trouble?

[Darrel]: Maybe, I don't think monkey's who've been to the mental institution have the same free speech rights as the other monkeys....

[Tommy]: Well, be that as it may, in Britt's little "system" it makes sense... you see, when a monkey reads a book, they are telling their subconscious that the material is important and the time spent reading--rather than doing something else-- affects the monkey's context.

[Geordi]: And, like a lens that filters input based on pre-established criteria, Britt reads while listening to two radios, one on NPR and the other on the campus radio station.

[Data]: While also wearing one ear bud of a CD player--the other being stuck to a magnetic pointer hanging from a flirtation book in front of the world map--

[Butthead]: Yeah yeah, as "he" sits "flying" "his" bed at Tactical Operations Command.

[Beavis]: So what movies are we going to see next?

[Kyle]: uh, Limitless & MARS needs Moms....

[Mary Jo]: Ohhh! Do they have matinees yet?

[Bateman]: Yeah, I really would like to put a buffet in the middle of those....

[Sally]: Wait! What'd we get?

[Kyle]: Huh?

[Sally]: The books at the library?

[Tommy]: Oh...

[Dale]: shit break!

[Beavis]: Get some more water too....

[Bateman]: Man, "they" had to try for that one....

[Jerry]: I'm serious... like we're a goddamn Play-Doh Fun Factory or something....

[Tommy]: Uh... yeah, we got Economic Analysis: Theory and Application, Inflation and the Income Tax, and Corrective and Remedial Teaching...

[Sally]: That sounds awesome for collective consciousness sorcery work! When are we going to read them?

[Maverick (both)]: Well first things first, we need to get out of this book on customer service we bought at the flea market and get back to our casino project....

[Ty]: So what are we reading?

[Ty]: Woah... save that.

[Beavis]: It's Not My Department: How to Get the Service You Want, Exactly the Way You Want It....

[The Commodore]: Well let's get it done!

* * *

[Roy]: Next on "the blog"

[Grandpa]: You'll hear Jesus say:

But what if the other Earth people are trying to synch with what we said we were going to do?

[....]: Hey... let's watch The Butterfly Effect again

[////]: I love that movie!

[????]: Well ok, but Benjamin Button tells you everything you need to know about context....

[Lor]: This is GREAT!

2011-01-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

[Name Withheld]: Yeah... but I'm on the shitlist....

***

[Cypher]: J-e-e-zus.... you guys sure know how to have fun....

[Bobby]: What happened?

[Bobby (to "his" staff)]: ...yeah, like that--like I don't know....

[....]: got it....

[Some Agent]: Apparantly Britt and "his" Earthly Father play some game where the one that terminates the phone conversation first loses....

[Butthead]: Yeah, we're doing that media connection thing through Britt and we wanted to win...

[Beavis]: Yeah, set to broadcast and all.....

[Bobby]: And we LOST?

[Beavis]: yeah... yeah... Well, the Masons--or whoever sent the sign said to just do it according to sign spotting....

[Butthead]: Yeah, we're reading this book we got when we bought some coffee using the coffee dice at Barnes & Nobel.... it's about social networks and stuff so when we were reading it in the store, someone said, "hey, since we're getting a hotel room tonight, let's call earthly father and see what he's watching on television....

[Beavis]: So we like bought a clean phone card and while we were talking about the election, we flipped over to Chapter 6 on political connections and we were going to read that next... probably with some FOX News ambient, you know....

[Cypher]: Yeah, "everybody" got impatient with the game and just focused Britt's attention on the person smoking a cigarette on somebody's shirt, so we wrapped it up and had a Parliment... Hey, what's that on the ambient? Don Henley?

[Butthead]: Yeah, it's "Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley on Sirus Radio....

[Bobby]: Ok, so this is like.... an official announcement Britt's out of seclusion?

[Butthead]: Yeah, I guess, we've still got rebooting stuff to do but this was a good take off....

[An Agent]: What was your take-off?

[Keehley]: OK, the way it went down was for the last couple of days, people have been wondering when we were going to get back on the collective conscious' radar and today, on page 90 of Night Star, "someone" (tentatively identified as nature)....

[The Agent]: You guys are going to have to be a little more explicit on how that whole high school/jail connection works....

[That Guy]: *smiles* Pay me or sue me!

[????]: our consulting fee is 10,000 dollars an hour....

[Bobby]: Your honor, can we just take judicial notice these people are CraZy?

[John]: Nah, I'd kind of like to go through discovery... you know, see how it's coming across....

[Geordi]: Works pretty good huh?

[Keehley]: ...so we're about at the middle of the drive headed out and we see a flock of blackbirds and somebody says, "how does each individual know everybodys going a certain way?" And then we find this book while were looking for the new one by Adam Carolla and they specifically mention that example!

[Maverick]: What luck! Hey, when do you think we'll get down to the casino?

[Narrator]: As everyone looks at the Agent, Beavis takes the hint....

[Beavis]: Cigarette... uh okay....

[....]: shit, the way we're going it'll probably be Spring or Summer....

[Maverick]: What all do we have to do?

[////]: Finish up charging up the charm necklace... anyway, let's go get back to television work....

What would you do-o-o-o... for a Klondike bar?

2010-12-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

[Allah]: Another blog entry?

[Darell]: *sighs* yeah…..

[Allah]: *“defeated”* What happened today?

[....]: Oh man, that was great!

[????]: ok, so we woke up with a headache....

[////]: So even though it was neutral Sunday, since we’d been attacked, we could do whatever we wanted....

[Kevin]: Man, that sucked....

[Mary]: I thought we weren’t talking about that...

[....]: ok, I’ll get it changed.... there, I had it replaced with another ailment....

[>>>>]: Then we got a shower and got dressed....

[<<<<]: Before we left the house, we took the digital watch/compass thing we bought at Radio Shack off the Direct TV box and put it in britt’s pocket....

[Allah]: part of that media connection thing?

[....]: Yeah....

[Allah]: What was the story with that device again?

[????]: We were at Radio Shack buying magnets and we wandered over to where those little Swiss Army knives are for some reason....

[::::]: Then Britt looked up at the television and there was an episode of How it’s Made on; they were talking about Victorinox “Swiss Army” knives ... so everybody wanted to get another knife, so people would remember the moment--you know, us drifting somewhere for no apparent reason, seeing a reason we were there, and realizing our sub-conscious had guided us....

[Allah]: This builds on that epiphany Britt had cleaning brush from fences that time, right?

[;;;;]: Yeah, that time when he realized that the physical world in the moment was a reflection of His sub-conscious since He’s enlightened and One with the Universe and everything....

[::::]: But we already had like three of those little knives.... so we decided to get that digital clock/compass thing instead. But it wasn’t made by Victorinox so we bought a Victorinox keychain light too so it would be included in the same purchase and everything....

[Allah]: And “He’s” been using it as a navigational aid....

[....]: Kinda, Britt knows His understanding of what He’s been doing with it is providing a focal point so everyone can say in synch with Him as he converts the realm into a “magnetic” basis instead of the “holographic” interface it appears to be....

[????]: Huh?

[....]: Well, like I said, Britt knows. When He puts things in language they get kind of messy... I mean, He’s an English/Philosophy major with a minor in Political Science and a Law Degree and we’re really talking about quantum mechanics here.... Suffice it to say that Britt is converting the process known as “consciousness” so that it can be expressed with and manipulated by (what he visualizes as) magnetic fields....

[....]: So anyway, we put it in his pocket before going to church.... And played Tetris on the way there....

[????]: So the preacher was saying something that seemed kind of important, right? But the monkey wasn’t paying attention, so we had him focus on the cross on top of the Christian flag that we mentioned in the last blog entry...

[Beavis]: Then we figured out what the preacher was talking about up-top in Britt....

[Butthead]: ....yeah, we already knew what was going on in the rest of the congregation *shrugs* using their local collective consciousness--I guess... and hopefully the Ripley mag-net centered on that speaker underneath the balcony (that’s the monkey’s focal point)....

[////]: After we knew what was going on up-top in Britt, we had him drift off a few times to show everyone how it would work and then had him pay attention to the sermon....

[Allah]: How what would work?

[Kenny]: Get this: all across Mississippi, Baptists are soliciting commitments from people to pray every morning before 8:00AM every day for a year...

[Cartman]: And to get a piece of it, all we had to do was get Britt to go down to the front during the invitation, get one of the commitment cards, and some kind of commerative pin or something....

[Kyle]: Don’t you think it’s kind of low-down, Britt promising to pray before 8:00 when we don’t normally wake up before 10:00?

[Cartman]: We do too!… at Farm Base....

[Kyle]: Yeah, but the preacher was talking about real heartfelt, committed prayer.... He spoke about the discipline necessary to focus and pray for several minutes at a time....

[Cartman]: Whatever. How many Baptists do you think are going to take it that far anyway?

[Kenny]: Besides, that’s not what God’s using.... I know the Guy, he’s using the collective consciousness. See, some people will pray while the rest are dreaming, then the ones dreaming will work on the stuff everybody prayed for and sort things out so they can influence each other’s wake-up takeoffs. Then, after a few weeks, everybody will have a better idea of what needs to be worked on and what pieces they have in place to work with. Then they’ll be able to direct “co-incidences” to get done what people pray for....

[Cartman]: Yeah, what’d you think? God was gonna do a bunch of work? Hell, He can’t--or won’t--even enforce His own views on abortion!

[Kenny]: Yeah, god’s not much of a workaholic; ever since man got thrown out of the garden and thought he got to keep all that dominion of the fields stuff, He hasn’t taken too great an interest in what the monkeys do lately....

[Butters]: So the people in control of this little Mississippi Baptists thing will be the ones that sleep the longest?

[Cartman]: Exactly....

[....]: So we get Britt to go down there and get one, fill it out with his work name, and work e-mail, then, on the way home we stopped by the grocery store and got a pack of Black & Milds, a pack of mild Black & Milds, and a pack of Parliament cigarettes; then we played Tetris the rest of the way back to Farm Base....

[Allah]: ....sounds good... refresh me on all that....

[....]: For work, britt’s name is Britt Ali--that’s a combination of His role name and his house’s name.

[Allah]: Right, Ollie... when are we getting back down there?

[....]: It was Ollie, she chose it when we were reading about that actress in a magazine one time.... Since She was doing mostly military stuff, she changed it to Ali when we were reading the Koran....

[////]: Yeah, since you don’t have a kid and Britt practices a holistic system--his understanding of which in the body is based on a mix of Science & Eastern and Meso-American “religions” --Ali does the Yin and Britt does the Yang, both bound together by the braided rope that represents Allah....

[....]: His work e-mail is his “god-account” where He gets a bunch of newsletters and stuff that symbolically keep him informed about what he’s interested in....

[....]: Cigars and cigarettes are referenced in the superstition book we did all that tangent work with.... In Britt’s little system, cigars are contemplatory whereas cigarettes prompt immediate action (from a distended “time” perspective)....

[....]: Parliament cigarettes got their big start up-here on campus... bumming them off students; the last one we bummed off a student was at Bulldog Bash; we use them to symbolize a plurality of viewpoints....

[Allah]: *smiles* how does that “distended ‘time’ perspective” work again?

[....]: Well, here on “The Playground“ we‘re basically turning a lightning bolt into a tye-dye T-shirt so everything Britt--or one of His “monkeys” does is run through every possible interpretation and recycled--like cows chewing their cud--to find more possible interpretations,

[....]: at the very least, it gives us something to do so our conglomerates can be more stable....

[....]: but hopefully the monkey scientists are right about the holographic principle in which case Britt’s physical crap would more directly map to all the other “monkeys’” physical crap.

[....]: The way cigarettes (and I guess cigars too) work is that they are always burning--just like any other context line(which they of course map to) and with each puff, we get a lightning flash to work with: ----(idea)----(concept)----(memory)----(etc.)....

[....]: It probably only works for Britt since a bunch of us--a potentially infinite number in fact--are listening to what britt’s saying and are able to lie low to guide and suggest interpretations of other context lines....

[....]: And He uses Tetris for general context/hand of fate stuff. We’ve got the game linked to the highway--you know objects coming closer and closer until you have to do something with them,

[....]: that way, anyone can always play Tetris by locking onto a monkey driver when they pass through the magnetic field of a power line. See, monkeys just want to get somewhere, so you can map their context lines to whatever you want and analogize....

[Kyle]: Yeah, the regular Black and Milds are for US--the people, People, folks, and guys, in charge--and the mild Black and Milds are for people, People, folks, guys, and monkeys that work for Britt. The cigarettes are for everyone....

[Cartman]: We’re going to open the cigarettes right after we wake up in the morning and go out and have one when we get to the middle of a page-spread in the book we’re reading for our wake-up takeoff: The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis....

[Kenny]: Yeah, we got it for Christmas and if you think about it, it really maps to the whole conscious monkey thing--at least as far as understanding their social crap goes....

[Allah]: *smiles* Sounds good. Are we staying at Farm Base until the first? When Britt gets paid, I want to go to the dentist by the library and get that left, bottom wisdom tooth out--maybe that will help with “His” occasional “headaches”....

[Beavis]: Good idea. Every time He touches back there with His tongue, we’ll remember it....

[Butthead]: Hey! Don’t we have a magnet around there somewhere? We could get it when we go to the dentist and put it with the others in the Storm House, then take them back down to the TOC when we leave Farm Base....

[Kyle]: And when we get back to Starkville, we can get the right, bottom wisdom tooth pulled; they have a dentist by their library too!

[Mary]: You have got to be shitting me!

[Bobby]: Oh come on! Do we have to put that out?

[Sibil]: Why the hell not!!? *turns to her staff* What the fuck?

[....]: Yeah, wouldn’t it be better for variable control if we only put one out?

[////]: Nah, we might not have enough power for a control group.... And this is a really good opportunity to see who our friends are.... and hopefully protect people who work for us....

[Carl Sagan]: Besides, if the scientific determinist perspective is correct, the only people who would target us are people doing the prayer thing that didn’t want Britt doing something sacrilegious with it...

[Cartman]: Determinism? You mean if Britt’s crazy?

[Carl]: *shrugs* yeah, I guess....

[Kyle]: How do you figure it’s sacrilegious? We’re helping out with divine communication... the only people that should have a problem with it are the sacrilegious, dogmatic monkeys that just go to church to give God a hand-job every week while they stay on top of the power structure because there is no one to challenge them....

[Cartman]: Yeah... and the only ones that would be a problem are the ones that read the blog... "I" think we're pretty safe.

Besides, if it’s just a bunch of monkeys up-top that have a problem with it, their sub consciences will probably be on our side.... What else were we supposed to cover?

[Butthead]: Oh yeah....

[Beavis]: Wait, that’s the Narrator’s job!

[Butthead]: Oh yeah....

[Narrator]: Meanwhile, in his study, Anton “sits” working at his desk....

[Q.]: Should Satanists celebrate Christmas?

[A.]: Yes! There is no--

[Butthead]: What’cha doin’ Anton?

[Anton]: Oh, this is my advice column... normally its an up-here thing, but I’m getting body time to emphasize the allied forces’ position that consciousness is for all people... even though it is most pronounced in covens, church groups, and professions like law, medicine, teaching, and the ministry.

[Beavis]: Oh yeah.... So what’s the answer?

[Anton]: To what?

[Beavis]: To the little Satanist kid’s question?

[Anton]: Oh! *laughs* yeah, why not? When you boil it down its just a winter festival, besides all their friends are probably celebrating....

[Butthead]: Yeah, if you swim against the current on these things, society can mark you for life....

[Anton]: Really.... You know, I was just going to give an off-the-cuff response, but since you mentioned that so recently in the context, in the interest of honesty, my thoughts on the subject have been largely influenced by the views of Mark Lindley, Preacher of Chapman Church of Christ as recorded in the Wednesday December 22, 2010 Southern Sentinel in his article entitled, “Should We ‘Put Christ Back in Christmas’”....

[Anton]: It turns out, the scholars are in agreement that Christ was not in fact born during the Christmas season!

[Butthead]: No shit?

[Anton]: *shakes head* no shit.

[Anton]: It says here that The Bible doesn’t say when Jesus was born and that the scriptural account indicates that He was in fact born between Spring and early Fall since it is during that time that Shepherds were “abiding in fields with their flocks.”

[Anton]: *looking to and gesturing at the article* The Bible doesn’t say, but ... “throughout the centuries, men have selected days from every month of the year as the birthday of Christ....”

[Anton]: ...*contemplating*.... and if you think about it, when it comes right down to it, it is the monkeys who decide when to have celebrations.

[Anton]: Since La Vey type Satanism is primarily ritualized humanism, it is perfectly acceptable, indeed encouraged, for Satanists to celebrate the holidays of “other” religions....

[Beavis]: O-h-h-h-h yeah....

[Butthead]: Hey, do you have anything you’d like to tell your followers while you are getting body time?

[Beavis]: Yeah... like any instructions, pronouncements, requests.... that sort of thing?

[Anton]: Come to think of it, there is something. My books need to be rewritten.

[....]: Yeah, for The Satanic Bible, we were thinking more of a mythology... you know, the usual primary characters, some “morality plays”, that kind of thing.

[>>>>]: And for The Satanic Witch we just want to keep the title; we want a total re-write by a female author....

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellowman is either a fool or a coward, whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both,

2010-12-23T06:56:00.000-08:00

for a wounded man shall saw to his assailent, "if I live, I will kill you; if I die, you are forgiven... such is the rule of honor....

-Lamb of God

[John]: Same post, 2 titles....Why?
[Fish]: Yeah.... when the monkey woke up some "people" told him this would be a better one and we were going to change it, but then we couldn't decide between the two....

[Harry]: ...this isn't like a Sly Lock Fox thing... is it?....

***

[Beavis]: Another post?

[Butthead]: We just did, one....

[Elise]: Yeah, that big Masonic post on the Solstice, the night of the lunar eclipse....

[Porto]: Yeah, we drank the Jagermiester we bought when we went to Memphis with Earthly Father--

[Kyle]: Yeah, we got the Jagermiester while we were waiting for Earthly Father at the dermatologist’s office....

[Kenny]: And we did that after we had bought lottery tickets as soon as we got in town--

[Cartman]: No we didn’t.

[Timmy]: No... the C-man’s right. We didn’t get them at the first place because they didn’t have a phone book and Earthly Father had to look up the number to the guy’s office....

[Tinkerbell]: Besides, that place had a bunch of plexiglass and we wanted to do more of a free-flow thing while synching with the lottery....

[Puck]: So we went to the Exxon --

[....]: Do a link for that....

[////]: *shakes head* Ugh-ugh--we’re using dial-up....

[????]: That winter solstice post took all night...

[Puck]: across the street and bought the tickets while he was looking up the number and getting directions--

[Peter]: It was nice and open.

[Dude]: Yeah, we got one Powerball ticket and IIII scratch-offs but we won $4 on the tic-tac-toe scratch-off and parleyed that into more Powerball tickets....

[Cartman]: Goddamnit! This post is not about the god damn lottery!

[Zim]: Yeah, we’re working on voice-mail--

[Some faction of the Power Elite]: Don’t tell ‘em how it works.

[Devil Club Liaison]: How what works?

[Power Elite]: Voice-mail.

[Ty]: Why the hell not?

[Cartman]: the post isn’t about that either damnit!

[Buckman]: Yeah, that’s just the reason we are doing it. Britt/britt (it’s hard to tell the difference) said that they were just trying to knock him out of the action and didn’t want to post cause we have dial-up here and it would screw up what everybody was doing with the book....

[Darell]: But he’ll fuck up what we’re doing for the voice-mail system... *sarcastically* man, that guy amazes me... so selfless.... So committed to the common cause....

[the subs]: To inspire true commitment a communist leader must always be on guard against a cult-of-personality....

[Dude]: Yeah whatever, He doesn’t know what the take-off for what we were doing was, we just started when it was convenient--

[Coop]: We’re just shaking bandits--

[the subs..]: That’s a good thing to be on guard against too....

[Al]: So what’s the book?

[Beavis]: Blue Like Jazz by donald miller.

[Al]: What are we doing with it?

[Butthead]: Reading it.

[Al]: Yeah, but what are we doing with it?

[Butthead]: Oh… ok, we were trying to watch The Wizard of Oz the other night and Earthly Father was explaining the symbolism in terms of common sense--

[....]: What’s wrong with that?

[Beavis]: Nah, not “useful” shit--at least it didn’t seem that way....

[Beavis]: (what do I know, “I’m” basically pixels of the music bar that is the infiniverse--I don’t know, at least I don’t know it the way he was explaining it)....

[Butthead]: He was being an ass. Talking about how there were signs in the ambient that should be telling people stuff--

[The Masons]: He’s not supposed to do that....

[Beavis]: *holds up hands* It’s ok, he was just taking about common sense monkey stuff....

[The Masons]: ...like what?

[Butthead]: Like when Dorothy was walking on a fence rail and fell off in the pig pen that that was a sign she didn’t really fall in a pig pen because there wasn’t mud and pig shit all over her.... That kind of thing....

[The Masons]: Still, we’d better look into it....

[The Masons]: There’s probably nothing to be concerned about....

[The Masons]: But just to be sure....

[Butthead]: So after a few minutes of this shit it became obvious it was distracting people--see around here earthly father maps to people in power--

[Kyle]: Yeah, it is by Earthly Father’s grace that we even have Direct TV....

[Cartman]: Whatever, Britt’s just visiting; earthly father would do it anyway--

[Timmy]: No… Earthly Father doesn’t watch television for himself, he grew up smelling mule farts while he plowed fields....

[Kenny]: Yeah, earthly father never used to watch television before he retired....

[Cartman]: I think the Masons sent him a letter or something and told him to get Direct TV after he retired and had plenty of time on his hands....

[Butthead]: Anyway, after Dorothy got in Oz and the little guys trying to watch the movie knew he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, they kind of seized the body and had Britt go ballistic on him--

[Elise]: We’re pretty sure the Nazis and some other State-ists were involved too--

[Porto]: Yeah, Britt was talking about how he was tired of Earthly Father objecting to national policy premised (apparently) on how it was personally bad for him--*shakes head* the exact prompt for it isn’t going up... it’s probably not important....

[Al]: Oh yeah, that reminds me, what’s our position on taxation?

[Darren]: We couldn’t have made any of it without the roads and the background legal infrastructure--I’m thinking primarily about the facilitation of private contracts and various health and welfare issues--...why how much do they want?

[Adam Smith]: Yeah whatever… as long as I get a 12% return... I’m happy....

[....]: We should do a tax plan based on that....

[////]: *shrugs* Yeah, why not... that's what they tell everyone else is a good return right?

[????]: Yeah, but it will have to be a 5 (IIII I) year tax plan....

[>>>>]: Huh?

[<<<<]: Yeah, like let wealthy individuals make money for 5 (IIII I) years and then tax them so that they get a 12 (IIII IIII IIII) % rate of return....

[George W. Bush]: That's 12% on the net right?

[Al]: Yeah... yeah... DUH!

[bILL cLINton]: Like Obama won't get re-elected with that!

[Beavis]: So then somebody was like what brought that on....

[Earthly Father]: Whoa whoa, there’s more to it--

[Cartman]: Damnit. Shut-up, you’re watching television, can’t you see we’re busy?

[Earthly Father]: On my computer!

[Darell]: Howard’s right, there was more to it.

[Kyle]: Oh yeah… about a week ago britt was telling Earthly (step) Mother that....

[Cartman]: Get to the point--

[Kyle]: It’s relevant!

[Kenny]: Anyway, britt prefaced/justified his/their watching the movie with a comment about some book he’d read talking about Illuminati symbolism in the movie....

[Katharine]: So what’s he sa-y-y-y-y-y….?

[Rayne]: In response to the question what brought it on?

[Butthead]: --

[....]: Wait, I wanna say it....

[Beavis]: Oh, that he thinks he was rebelling against Scottish Rite Freemasonry’s using plays to illustrate things while at the same time trying to distract you....

[////]: Christ! We were trying to watch a movie; do you know how hard it is to pay attention to what’s on Earth television when you’re using the possessing power of the entire universe?

[Beavis]: So anyway, a few minutes after that, Earthly (step) Mother, who was reading a book, said--

[Butthead]: *talking to “new” little guys* Yeah, that’s important, “here” some people like to watch television, some people like to talk about what’s on television--

[Nancy]: And some “people” just like to talk--

[Kyle]: It was during a commercial though....

[Beavis]: that she really liked the author.

[Butthead]: Then Britt’s Earthly (step) Sister said she liked another book the guy wrote, that Britt might like it too, went and got it, and handed it to Britt.

[Beavis]: So since there was no ignoring how that came up in the context, everyone decided we’ve got to read the book and let the Masons alter our context--hopefully explaining their position before Britt can say any more anti-Masonic shit to Earthly Father....

[Butthead]: Which is fun!

[????]: Yeah… it’s like II dogs barking at each other....

[////]: They can do it with other stuff--

[....]: We shot the wad on politics though, their positions are too different for an “argument” that engenders mutual respect....

[++++]: Hey! Remember that time they got into it over whether Jesus was a virgin when He started his ministry at 30?

[Beavis]: That’s part of Britt’s job.... to clear shit up--

[Butthead]: Besides, didn’t some of Earthly Father’s comments limit someone’s power?

[Al]: Well insisting Jesus practice what he preached isn’t within Earthly Father’s province....

[Darell]: Besides, it’s a good physical world lockdown for the “I don’t believe that/I don’t think God would...” (whatever you call it) game....

[Darren]: She’s a missionary isn’t she--Britt’s Earthly (step) Sister I mean?

[....]: Yeah....

[////]: She’s between missions right now....

[Darell]: She’s a missionary, Britt’s a Horseman... think it will work?

[Cartman]: Damnit! We’re not talking about that*!

* we aren’t talking about it, but it’s not that.... exactly....

[Butthead]: So today we went and got some more feed with Earthly Father and went to Wal-mart on the way back. And we got a couple of CD’s, a pack of Black & Milds, and some underwear and stuff....

[Beavis]: So we were listening to the Rob Zombie CD and there was an apparent nucleonic decision to read the book she loaned us while listening to Lamb of God--

[Darell]: They ain’t no Christian group--

[the subs]: They say fuck!

[Beavis]: So we’re listing to the track where the guy starts off talking about honor before the music comes on--

[....]: Wait, you forgot the buildup....

[Beavis]: Oh right.... “the Masons” and everybody started synching media about a year or two ago so we could expand the use of manipulatory signs to control--I mean influence--the populous...

[????]: Get to the point....

[Beavis]: God damnit! “I” don’t work this way! If it’s relevant and somebody asks about it I have'ta tell ‘em....

[Kyle]: *spiral eyed, bites his lower lip lightly* Seek and ye shall find... knock and it will be opened unto you....

[Beavis]: So anyway--WHAT? Cigarette? Cigar? Oh, ok---

[....]: *walking out* Yeah, I heard somebody ask for a cigarette a few lines back--

[Beavis]: "I" was wonderin'... cause you guys just had one right?

[////]: Yeah, but we get more points for the cigar because a previous “time” hack decided we were going to get into them while listening to Rob Zombie....

[????]: We didn’t get these at Wal-mart...

[Cartman]: Yeah, remember, we were in the wrong line and there were too many people in the right one--we would have inappropriately influenced earthly father's context if we made him wait....

[\\\\]: ESPeCiaLly iF he hAd TO waIt 4 tObaccO--eARtHlY FATher doEsN't smOke...

[Kenny]: We got these at the grocery store where we....

[Michael]: *"aiming" at Earthly Father* Hey God, we’re going out to start on a cigar, keep an eye on the ant farm...

[Raphell]: *spoofing “God’s” voice* Uh... O.K.

[Beavis]: So, we’re all talking about improving communication and we start reading the book listening to the track where the guy starts off talking about honor and stuff; so we get to a part in the book where the author is talking about setting up a confessional on a secular campus....

[Butthead]: But it isn’t an ordinary confessional--

[Beavis]: Well it is... kinda, but I “see” what you’re saying. See, the Christians are confessing one-on-one to the unbelievers what they know they are supposed to be doing, but that they don’t do what they are supposed to, or not enough of what they are supposed to, or something like that and Jesus said it was a GREAT! Idea--

[Jerry]: No shit, that’s really what he said, “That’s a GREAT! Idea.” And everybody wanted to put it on the blog....

[Butthead]: But the Devil Club said we didn’t have the credibility to make it fly, so what’s the point... you know?

[Beavis]: So we’re reading some more and it’s pretty obvious the other monkeys we’re using aren’t catching their conversational surfboards....

[Michael]: Yeah, we’re having to talk for both sides--

[Ariel]: And we know what’s coming up--

[Raphaell]: It was a real drag.... I mean "drag" in the sense that it was boring, not in the aerodynamic sense that it was limiting our power....

[Beavis]: So we let the CD player play on normal mode for a while then we got to the song where the guy is talking about killing civilians when he was in the Marines in Iraq while the music is going on, so we decide to try it again.

[Kyle]: Yeah, see, we had started reading with the other song on repeat after an up-here discussion about how Christians worship a God the Devil Club said was undeserving of worship.

[Cartman]: Well “He” is. I mean think about it, he’s throwing temper tantrums, kicking down sand castles and scattering his blocks all over the room all through the Old Testament--- What’s Old Fool, saying over there?

[Kyle]: Something about turning the outside light on, Earthly (step) Sister is back....

[////]: We took care of it....

[Cartman]: Then, in the New Testament he has matured to the point that he knows to get someone “else” to do the dirty work--or at least "change voices".... you know?

[Kyle]: So anyway, the point was to have C.S. Lewis lead a force against anti-Christian arguments.... And have every cycle of the song be alternately after-action reviews and serve as a platform for the wargame....

[Michael]: But the monkeys weren’t getting it.

[Cartman]: So we started using the Iraqi killin’ song, figuring we could modify their interpretation of status quo context cues to get them “thinking” on the wavelength we were broadcasting, on....

[Al]: So what were we going to post? Some text from the book right?

[Beavis]: Yeah, uh.... Oh yeah, here it is:

[Bateman]: Ok now, to appreciate this, you need to know that we went to church last Sunday and we were wondering why the protestant symbol was an empty cross. I mean, The Romans put Jesus on The Cross and took him down too… after the Jews had insisted on it, of course. So everyone was like, “whatever Jesus, that’s fucked up, I mean it’s better than the Catholics having you hanging up on the wall like a trophy buck holding the murder weapon, but wouldn’t it be better to have an empty tomb on top of your flag there?

[Allah]: Why do the Baptist have a flag anyway?

[Al]: Something about a crusade....

[Darell]: *shakes head* I don’ know, probably something about wanting to steal the Crusades from the Catholics....

[Darren]: That’s preposterous!

[Darell]: Like I said, I don’t know....

[Allah]: Still... cross-reference with the jihad....

[Beavis]: So in the book--I’m reading from page 124 here.... that’s IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII.... It says:

“What is the deal with the cross?” Jake asked.
“God says the wages of sin is death, “I told him. “And Jesus died so that none of us would have to. If we have faith in that then we are Christians.”
“That is why people wear crosses? He asked.
“I guess. I think it is sort of fashionable. Some people believe that if they have a cross around their neck or tattooed on them or something, it has some sort of mystical power.”
“Do you believe that? Jake asked.
“No,” I answered. I told him that I thought mystical power came through faith in Jesus....

[Beavis]: Huh?

[The Masons]: We were wondering what other Masonic secrets Howard has imparted to Britt....

[The Masons]: Anything out of the ordinary....

[The Masons]: Perhaps... a way of viewing life....

[Beavis]: Well, when Britt was... like 5 (that’s IIIII), he said, "what the mind can concieve, the mind can achieve"...

[Butthead]: Yeah, Britt was working on comm back then too, so a few days later he told Earthly Father that sometimes when he didn’t know what to do, he would smile like he had the solution and he would get an Idea. But E-F threw it back at him, saying that He didn’t usually smile until he had an idea.

[Kyle]: Yeah, and even though he commented on “potions” Britt would make, neither he, nor Earthly Mother ever rebuked him for it....

[The Masons]: What sort of “potions”?

[Darell]: *crinches eyebrow* mixing different drinks together mostly--

[Al]: Oh yeah… that was the 70’s Earthly Father traveled a lot and brought back a bunch of little cologne bottles from the hotels he stayed at all over the country... me and Snape used to get him to mix them together.... You know, so he could make “new scents”

[Kenny]: Yeah, Britt was always doing stuff like that, building things for “us” too... one time, we made a river boat out of patio furniture… our declared, publicly professed intent was to take it out on the Mississippi River....

[The Masons]: A river boat made out of patio furniture....

[The Masons]: ...I see....

[Beavis]: So that got everybody wondering about the cross thing again and the Devil Club interpreted it to mean that the empty cross meant that the cross was for you.... you know, the person who was looking to, or had, accepted Jesus as their savior... see--what? Cigar? Oh, ok.

[Butthead]: *walking out* But Jerry Falwell was like, "I don't think we should be acting on intrepretations from the Devil Club....

[Dick]: Who does he talk to?

[Harry ]: *shrugs* different frequency....

[Dude]: O.K., that was it?

[Al]: Oh, what was the sign Britt took off on to post?

[Butthead]: Uh…. Chapter 12, page 129, lines 10 and 11 (that’s IIII IIII II and IIII IIII II), “voice-mail system”....

[Beavis]: Why do we do that?

[Butthead]: What?

[Beavis]: Teach monkeys how to teach their houses to count in groups of 4 (IIII)?

[Harry]: Oh.... That’s how many individual blocks compose a Tetris piece on the ole’ Masonic Tricorder....

[Maya]: Let’s post this and get back to the book....

[Elaine]: Chapter 12 huh? Hey, did you guys know there are 12 (IIII IIII IIII) districts in the Federal Reserve just like there are 12 signs in the zodiac?

[Darren]: What district are we in?

[Major Nelson]: Gemini.

[Endora]: You're serious?[Tabbitha]: Yep, I want ALL of it...[Endora]: And what will you do when you have everything?

2010-12-22T22:18:00.000-08:00

[Tabbitha]: *shrugs* Whatever I want....

***

[Beavis]: Another post?

[Butthead]: We just did, one....

[Elise]: Yeah, that big Masonic post on the Solstice, the night of the lunar eclipse....

[Porto]: Yeah, we drank the Jagermiester we bought when we went to Memphis with Earthly Father--

[Kyle]: Yeah, we got the Jagermiester while we were waiting for Earthly Father at the dermatologist’s office....

[Kenny]: And we did that after we had bought lottery tickets as soon as we got in town--

[Cartman]: No we didn’t.

[Timmy]: No... the C-man’s right. We didn’t get them at the first place because they didn’t have a phone book and Earthly Father had to look up the number to the guy’s office....

[Tinkerbell]: Besides, that place had a bunch of plexiglass and we wanted to do more of a free-flow thing while synching with the lottery....

[Puck]: So we went to the Exxon --

[....]: Do a link for that....

[////]: *shakes head* Ugh-ugh--we’re using dial-up....

[????]: That winter solstice post took all night...

[Some faction of the Power Elite]: Don’t tell ‘em how it works.

[Devil Club Liaison]: How what works?

[Power Elite]: Voice-mail.

[Ty]: Why the hell not?

[the subs]: To inspire true commitment a communist leader must always be on guard against a cult-of-personality....

[Dude]: Yeah whatever, He doesn’t know what the take-off for what we were doing was, we just started when it was convenient--

[Coop]: We’re just shaking bandits--

[the subs..]: That’s a good thing to be on guard against too....

[....]: What’s wrong with that?

[Beavis]: Nah, not “useful” shit--at least it didn’t seem that way....

[Beavis]: (what do I know, “I’m” basically pixels of the music bar that is the infiniverse--I don’t know, at least I don’t know it the way he was explaining it)....

[Butthead]: He was being an ass. Talking about how there were signs in the ambient that should be telling people stuff--

[The Masons]: He’s not supposed to do that....

[Beavis]: *holds up hands* It’s ok, he was just taking about common sense monkey stuff....

[The Masons]: ...like what?

[Butthead]: Like when Dorothy was walking on a fence rail and fell off in the pig pen that that was a sign she didn’t really fall in a pig pen because there wasn’t mud and pig shit all over her.... That kind of thing....

[The Masons]: Still, we’d better look into it....

[The Masons]: There’s probably nothing to be concerned about....

[The Masons]: But just to be sure....

[Butthead]: So after a few minutes of this shit it became obvious it was distracting people--see around here earthly father maps to people in power--

[Kyle]: Yeah, it is by Earthly Father’s grace that we even have Direct TV....

[Cartman]: Whatever, Britt’s just visiting; earthly father would do it anyway--

[Timmy]: No… Earthly Father doesn’t watch television for himself, he grew up smelling mule farts while he plowed fields....

[Kenny]: Yeah, earthly father never used to watch television before he retired....

[Cartman]: I think the Masons sent him a letter or something and told him to get Direct TV after he retired and had plenty of time on his hands....

[Butthead]: Anyway, after Dorothy got in Oz and the little guys trying to watch the movie knew he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, they kind of seized the body and had Britt go ballistic on him--

[Elise]: We’re pretty sure the Nazis and some other State-ists were involved too--

[Porto]: Yeah, Britt was talking about how he was tired of Earthly Father objecting to national policy premised (apparently) on how it was personally bad for him--*shakes head* the exact prompt for it isn’t going up... it’s probably not important....

[Al]: Oh yeah, that reminds me, what’s our position on taxation?

[Darren]: We couldn’t have made any of it without the roads and the background legal infrastructure--I’m thinking primarily about the facilitation of private contracts and various health and welfare issues--...why how much do they want?

[Adam Smith]: Yeah whatever… as long as I get a 12% return... I’m happy....

[....]: We should do a tax plan based on that....

[////]: *shrugs* Yeah, why not... that's what they tell everyone else is a good return right?

[????]: Yeah, but it will have to be a 5 (IIII I) year tax plan....

[>>>>]: Huh?

[<<<<]: Yeah, like let wealthy individuals make money for 5 (IIII I) years and then tax them so that they get a 12 (IIII IIII IIII) % rate of return....

[George W. Bush]: That's 12% on the net right?

[Al]: Yeah... yeah... DUH!

[bILL cLINton]: Like Obama won't get re-elected with that!

[Kyle]: Oh yeah… about a week ago britt was telling Earthly (step) Mother that....

[Cartman]: Get to the point--

[Kyle]: It’s relevant!

[Kenny]: Anyway, britt prefaced/justified his/their watching the movie with a comment about some book he’d read talking about Illuminati symbolism in the movie....

[Katharine]: So what’s he sa-y-y-y-y-y….?

[Rayne]: In response to the question what brought it on?

[Butthead]: --

[....]: Wait, I wanna say it....

[Beavis]: Oh, that he thinks he was rebelling against Scottish Rite Freemasonry’s using plays to illustrate things while at the same time trying to distract you....

[////]: Christ! We were trying to watch a movie; do you know how hard it is to pay attention to what’s on Earth television when you’re using the possessing power of the entire universe?

[Beavis]: So anyway, a few minutes after that, Earthly (step) Mother, who was reading a book, said--

[Butthead]: *talking to “new” little guys* Yeah, that’s important, “here” some people like to watch television, some people like to talk about what’s on television--

[Nancy]: And some “people” just like to talk--

[Kyle]: It was during a commercial though....

[????]: Yeah… it’s like II dogs barking at each other....

[////]: They can do it with other stuff--

[....]: We shot the wad on politics though, their positions are too different for an “argument” that engenders mutual respect....

[++++]: Hey! Remember that time they got into it over whether Jesus was a virgin when He started his ministry at 30?

[Beavis]: That’s part of Britt’s job.... to clear shit up--

[Butthead]: Besides, didn’t some of Earthly Father’s comments limit someone’s power?

[Al]: Well insisting Jesus practice what he preached isn’t within Earthly Father’s province....

[Darell]: Besides, it’s a good physical world lockdown for the “I don’t believe that/I don’t think God would...” (whatever you call it) game....

[Darren]: She’s a missionary isn’t she--Britt’s Earthly (step) Sister I mean?

[....]: Yeah....

[////]: She’s between missions right now....

[Darell]: She’s a missionary, Britt’s a Horseman... think it will work?

[Cartman]: Damnit! We’re not talking about that*!

* we aren’t talking about it, but it’s not that.... exactly....

[Darell]: They ain’t no Christian group--

[the subs]: They say fuck!

[Beavis]: So we’re listing to the track where the guy starts off talking about honor before the music comes on--

[....]: Wait, you forgot the buildup....

[Beavis]: Oh right.... “the Masons” and everybody started synching media about a year or two ago so we could expand the use of manipulatory signs to control--I mean influence--the populous...

[????]: Get to the point....

[Beavis]: God damnit! “I” don’t work this way! If it’s relevant and somebody asks about it I have'ta tell ‘em....

[Kyle]: *spiral eyed, bites his lower lip lightly* Seek and ye shall find... knock and it will be opened unto you....

[Beavis]: So anyway--WHAT? Cigarette? Cigar? Oh, ok---

[....]: *walking out* Yeah, I heard somebody ask for a cigarette a few lines back--

[Beavis]: "I" was wonderin'... cause you guys just had one right?

[////]: Yeah, but we get more points for the cigar because a previous “time” hack decided we were going to get into them while listening to Rob Zombie....

[????]: We didn’t get these at Wal-mart...

[Cartman]: Yeah, remember, we were in the wrong line and there were too many people in the right one--we would have inappropriately influenced earthly father's context if we made him wait....

[\\\\]: ESPeCiaLly iF he hAd TO waIt 4 tObaccO--eARtHlY FATher doEsN't smOke...

[Kenny]: We got these at the grocery store where we....

[Michael]: *"aiming" at Earthly Father* Hey God, we’re going out to start on a cigar, keep an eye on the ant farm...

[Raphell]: *spoofing “God’s” voice* Uh... O.K.

[Jerry]: No shit, that’s really what he said, “That’s a GREAT! Idea.” And everybody wanted to put it on the blog....

[Michael]: Yeah, we’re having to talk for both sides--

[Ariel]: And we know what’s coming up--

[Raphaell]: It was a real drag.... I mean "drag" in the sense that it was boring, not in the aerodynamic sense that it was limiting our power....

[Kyle]: Something about turning the outside light on, Earthly (step) Sister is back....

[////]: We took care of it....

[Beavis]: Yeah, uh.... Oh yeah, here it is:

[Bateman]: Ok now, to appreciate this, you need to know that we went to church last Sunday and we were wondering why the protestant symbol was an empty cross. I mean, The Romans put Jesus on The Cross and took him down too… after the Jews had insisted on it, of course. So everyone was like, “whatever Jesus, that’s fucked up, I mean it’s better than the Catholics having you hanging up on the wall like a trophy buck holding the murder weapon, but wouldn’t it be better to have an empty tomb on top of your flag there?

[Allah]: Why do the Baptist have a flag anyway?

[Al]: Something about a crusade....

[Darell]: *shakes head* I don’ know, probably something about wanting to steal the Crusades from the Catholics....

[Darren]: That’s preposterous!

[Darell]: Like I said, I don’t know....

[Allah]: Still... cross-reference with the jihad....

[The Masons]: We were wondering what other Masonic secrets Howard has imparted to Britt....

[The Masons]: Anything out of the ordinary....

[The Masons]: Perhaps... a way of viewing life....

[Beavis]: Well, when Britt was... like 5 (that’s IIIII), he said, "what the mind can concieve, the mind can achieve"...

[Butthead]: Yeah, Britt was working on comm back then too, so a few days later he told Earthly Father that sometimes when he didn’t know what to do, he would smile like he had the solution and he would get an Idea. But E-F threw it back at him, saying that He didn’t usually smile until he had an idea.

[Kyle]: Yeah, and even though he commented on “potions” Britt would make, neither he, nor Earthly Mother ever rebuked him for it....

[The Masons]: What sort of “potions”?

[Darell]: *crinches eyebrow* mixing different drinks together mostly--

[Al]: Oh yeah… that was the 70’s Earthly Father traveled a lot and brought back a bunch of little cologne bottles from the hotels he stayed at all over the country... me and Snape used to get him to mix them together.... You know, so he could make “new scents”

[Kenny]: Yeah, Britt was always doing stuff like that, building things for “us” too... one time, we made a river boat out of patio furniture… our declared, publicly professed intent was to take it out on the Mississippi River....

[The Masons]: A river boat made out of patio furniture....

[The Masons]: ...I see....

[Butthead]: *walking out* But Jerry Falwell was like, "I don't think we should be acting on intrepretations from the Devil Club....

[Dick]: Who does he talk to?

[Harry ]: *shrugs* different frequency....

[Dude]: O.K., that was it?

[Al]: Oh, what was the sign Britt took off on to post?

[Butthead]: Uh…. Chapter 12, page 129, lines 10 and 11 (that’s IIII IIII II and IIII IIII II), “voice-mail system”....

[Beavis]: Why do we do that?

[Butthead]: What?

[Beavis]: Teach monkeys how to teach their houses to count in groups of 4 (IIII)?

[Harry]: Oh.... That’s how many individual blocks compose a Tetris piece on the ole’ Masonic Tricorder....

[Darren]: What district are we in?

[Major Nelson]: Gemini.

Rules of Kinky Sex:#1: Never give a blind chick a rim-job.

2010-12-20T21:58:00.000-08:00

[Narrator]: As Earthly Father watches O’Reilly and his guest talk about Jesus' political views on FOX News', The O'Reilly Factor, britt’s monkey overhears part of a conversation....*

[....]: Yeah, I could write it down....

[Kevin]: Mann... that’s a lot of trouble: we’d have to find a pen....

[Maya]: And get some paper....

[////]: No we don’t... we can use earthly father’s laptop....

[Narrator]: Reaching behind the rocking chair--well, a single-seat glider really--on top of the paper shredder, Britt gets the laptop and finds the word processing program....

[Jung]: *center* The Collective Consciousness:

[Ty Cobb]: Whoa.... Put a chapter first then do a colon....

I’m telling’ you motherfuckers, if we don’t get what we want Britt’s gonna write a goddamn book!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 12: The Collective Consciousness

As noted before, this book is not about conspiracy theories, secret organizations, nor powerful people. The same can be said of the collective consciousness.

Q: What is the collective consciousness?

A: From the perspective of the person who bought, downloaded, or otherwise acquired this book, the collective consciousness is the apparent decision making power of ... [embellish text more here] ...

Q: So why is there apparent decision making [ibid]... and by-the-way, they aren’t really people are they?

A: No not really, but then again, you aren’t really people from their perspective either; there is apparent decision making because of anthropomorphization (in all it’s forms-- "aliens" included), anthropomorphization is the [embellish text more here]....

Think of it like this, everything that has the quality of “thing-ness” has thing-ness in all dimensions--now I don’t mean "dimension" in the sense of popular science fiction, such "realities" are in actuality what "I" would call multi-dimensional constructs or "metaphors"--the metaphor with which we are most commonly familiar has three spatial dimensions, height, width and depth and one artificial dimension of time.

Why artificial? because unlike height, width and depth we cannot collectively agree on a measurement of time, nor can we place two "times" side by side and note their similarities and differences. But what about clocks? One might ask. Clocks do not measure time; instead, clocks measure and record spatial changes which agree with our ancestral measurement of time, i.e., the positions of the sun and the other stars--or rather [damnit I lost it, something about what we were using them for or something].

More simply, time appears to exist because of our continuity of consciousness’ remembering an apparently sequential series of changes in the physical composition of the moment, that is, things get moved and you remember where they "were" and where they "went" on their journey to where they (apparently) are.

In actuality there is no time, the metaphor one experiences today is the same (from a quantum mechanical dynamic perspective) as the metaphor one might have experienced if they had been present at the “big bang” or when God spoke the metaphor into existence, ordered the void, or whatever beginnings your preferred mythology dictates.

Personally, "I" like the Hindu mythology... the process of creation is eternal; and we prefer the scientific determinists’ perspective with a capitalistic twist: chaos is any order which one does not understand/or that is not one’s own order.

Because all "things" have their "thing-ness" eternally (in some form or other) in spite of momentary changes, one can think of an individual person as a blob of ballistics gel. Such gel is apparently solid, fairly clear, and stable--in fact inert, but when struck by an impact, the blob jiggles and shakes as the projectile imbeds itself expanding and disturbing the gel. The individual’s subconscious works† in much the same way: when the continuity of consciousness acts from it’s survival motives--incorporating only a handful of moment perspectives in the process of it’s decision making--the subconscious shakes like the blob of ballistics gel.

Those factions of the individual’s subconscious that are most aligned with the continuity of consciousness of the monkey who is making the decision can obviously make the most use of this unilateral change. In case your monkey doesn't get it, know that we are being sarcastic ;)

† The best analogy we have come across for how the individual’s sub conscious works is that of solar system formation: as far as any power faction (including the controlling collective responsible for reinforcing and maintaining the continuity of consciousness and continuity of memory) is concerned, they are the sun and the other factions are planets, asteroids, comets, and "blank" spots. As the reader looks at a scene, say a kitchen, their primary attention is on the sink which they plan to use to wash dishes. Meanwhile, one faction’s primary attention is on the dirty dishes--perhaps dreading the task; another faction’s attention is on the stove next to the sink, they are perhaps thinking of the processes that resulted in the dishes getting dirty--or maybe all instances in which the individual has used the stove; another faction studies the floor, noting that it needs to be cleaned and wondering what that glob of spaghetti sauce’s placement an inch from the west side of the corner and half an inch from the north side of the corner means.

Get in time perspectives: the previous instances are the moment perspective, but some factions are thinking of the “future” and some are thinking of how future acts will impact other events like cooking turnip greens next week and the ensuing loose stools slowing the biologic down enough so they might avoid some “bad” event, etc....

Q: So the collective consciousness is an aggregate of those aspects of individual sub consciousness that are--or appear to be--working together for a common purpose?

A: Yeah, basically, but this same applies to all things that have what amounts to a continuity of memory: planetary and stellar orbits, weather patterns, financial markets and their components, man-made structures such as houses and roads--from the perspective of the overarching gestalt, these are all organisms within a larger organism.

Q.: Say what?

A.: Yeah, that's why the Masons are so powerful in the national media: bricks can be seen somewhere in most shows and there is tons of symbolism that goes unnoticed by the untrained observer.

For almost 3,000 years (assuming one traces back to Hiram Abiff) Masons have been influencing the context (what events happen as determined by what events are possible to happen, governed by the progress of the biologic(s) through a maze of "pre-determined"/pre-ordained events) of societies by determining how people move in, out, and through the buildings they live and work in. Sorry, couldn’t let you have that one….

The buildings themselves can be viewed as people who use biologics for blood and breath. Their cognitive functions arise from the comings and goings of the biologics, the intent expressed in their design and construction, and possibly what the biologics do in them.

Because of the nature of time, as discussed above, various context trees converge to form a gestalt that is superior to its component parts.

So, from the perspective of the novice sorcerer--uh, practical quantum mechanic--the challenge is in making one’s voice heard amidst the other apparently more stable organisms--

[Professor Snape]: ...ahhh... we’re not on that chapter over here; let’s get back to the question: what is the collective unconscious as it applies to the limited control over their personal and broader environment that is exercised by monkeys?

[????]: Oh... Sorry, I--"I" mean we, must have drifted off....

[Professor Snape]: That’s quite all right...

[////]: Ok, we just want you to know that we are paying attention....

[Lt. Commander Dodge]: *smiles* I’ve no doubt of that....

[++++]: okay....

[Narrator]: Snape--virtually--“leans” over to Commander Dodge:

[Snape]: I think they want the last word.

[Lt. Commander Dodge]: Oh, right....

A: Yes, the collective consciousness is an aggregate of individual sub consciousnesses.

Previously in human history, this collective was based at the family and tribal level and was motivated by the continued survival of the community and those deemed most beneficial to the community; but as society advanced in complexity, there was more opportunity for factions of the sub conscious to center around other areas of primary importance.

With the advent of television, it became possible for "time to eat" to be substituted by "time for Ally McBealle". With survival no longer an issue, the collective unconscious operated according to the normal traits of an organism†† and became a seeker of pleasure in it’s own right.

†† Dianetics: The Modern Science Of Mental Health : once survival needs are met further accumulation of pro-survival material becomes sensed as pleasure (or something like that)....

In fact, given enough of a schema upon which to "tab" memories (assuming unconscious factions and "virtual" individuals remember the same way "we" do), it is conceivable that the pro-survival (paying some kind of attention to what the monkey is doing) aspects of the sub conscious are organized much like channels on a television.

Given, it is the same television. But plug in certain data, phrased in a certain way, and interpreted according to individual biases, and Friends turns into Animal Planet or worse, THE MILITARY CHANNEL, Hooo--Yahhhh!

O.K. So the collective unconsciousness.... What happens is that in modern society you get a bunch of these guys together and they talk.... and if they care, they see what they can get their monkeys to do.... And sometimes--more often than you might think--they spank, maim and kill their own and each other’s monkeys--kind of like we do "up-top".

The biggest difference? They don’t have any laws. Why would they need them? Survival is taken care of. *shrug* Somebody just didn’t have a strong enough monkey.

In short, you get what Schopenhauer termed, The Will.

Q. Where do these various interpretations, and individual biases come from?

A. You. Everything you could have said but didn’t; every possible way of connecting the dots of your pathetic little life that was overlooked by your puny conversational cap-gun of a brain; EVEN the things you censored! Somebody wanted to know what the big deal was about so they talked to their friends and found out about what you didn't want them to and worse!

While you had your thumb-up-your-ass, a barrage of small arms fire just screwed up your week--there! it happened again! And again! Christ monkey, at this rate you're never going to get a break!

It's "time" to wake up and smell the coffee! EVERYTHING MATTERS!!!! And the sooner you realize that you can't think your way through life, the better off we'll all be.

We need some feeling in here people! Some genuine, honest to God, no-one-ever-died-wishing-they'd-spent-more-time-at-the-office feeling! Cause the way we're headed, getting scanned at the airport isn't the worst thing that's gonna happen!

[Al]: What the hell?

[Bernie Goldberg on FOX (reading a letter)]: This is one of the most disgusting articles I’ve ever read in my life!

[The Illuminati]: What is this? A manifesto or something?

[a Fat Cast]: This guy is soooo out there! What is he--an out of work philosophy major?

[another Fat Cat]: What a NUT!!!!
[Allah]: Who authorized this?

[The Masons]: Sorry... we were just talkin’....

* The FOX gestalt includes FOX Broadcasting Company and its affiliates, FOX News, FOX Sports, The Wall Street Journal, FOX Movie Channel , FX, Sky News, and numerous other unspecified components.

Khwaja Khandir, Did you mean: Khwaja Khadir Holy Ghost Holy Spirit

Tire Base II....

2010-12-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

[Bobby]: OK, it doesn't look like we've got much time, so let's just enumerate what we've got....

[....]: Ok, the main thing is we're still at Farm Base and we came over to Tire Base again....

[////]: We put some magnets out---

[????]: Wait... where'd we get the magnets?

[Butthead]: oh, they were at the TOC--

[????]: When did we go there?

[....]: We took a load of firewood down yesterday and checked our mail at the post office. After that, we retrieved some more magnets from a secure location on campus and put them in Britt's Earthly Father's Storm House where we'd built those shelves....

[Al]: So what's the plan?

[Beavis]: Plan?

[Butthead]: We don't have a plan....

[Beavis]: Ugh-ugh... we just do what we feel like doing....

[Darrell]: ok... well what do we think will happen?

[....]: Well, hopefully, the magnets will remember the other magnets still at the TOC....

[////]: But even if they don't the magnets should acclimatise to the magnetic ambient and eventually be able to detect and make sense out of changes to the local and/or universal mag-net.

[++++]: After they can sense changes--or maybe before since we are mainly running on Britt's intent in placing them--we should be able to track individual cars and monitor changes in their causal aura....

[Al]: Causal aura?

[Beavis]: Yeah, we're not the first to use the term and the connection the monkey is using to finish this entry is too slow so we're not going to have him look it up....

[Butthead]: But what we mean is the direct and extended changes in the broader context resulting from changes in the automobile's position....

[Beavis]: You know, like a monkey's being able to go to work, so they can keep paying rent and the associated effects that would not have occured but for the car having come to Tire Base....

[Margo]: I'll just be glad when we can leave Farm Base.

[Mary]: Tell me about it, I feel like I'm stuck in an episode of Green Acres and Daisy Duke over there dosn't help much.

[Sibil]: This is great! The magnets we brought from campus can synch with the magnets we left here and those can communicate with the other magnets back at Farm Base!

[Elise]: What are we using for a monkey translation device again?

[Porto]: Those shelves we built in the storm house with Britt and His Earthly Father.

[Zim]: Yeah, we told Britt an idea for a problem they were having with the second shelf, Britt told his Earthly Father, and Howard took our suggestion. So we put the magnets we got at the Corinth Radioshack on that shelf in a big clump so they could synch with the nails and through them, Britt and His Earthly Father's acts of Will.

[Porto]: Yeah, monkeys lump everything they have done into the "past"--well, at least Britt does, so the acts of Will in making the shelves map indiscriminately to other acts of will and all we have to do is sort between Britt and His earthly father and ping thier auras--or, if we want to use the collective consciousness--just ping the group to see what something means through the lens of an individual or group of individuals.

[Elise]: Oh, right... we started using the storm house for comm stuff that time we were waithing for earthy--

[Vampire B.A.T. Computer]: That information has been classified....

[Porto]: Please state the nature of the classification....

[VBC]: It has been decided that the exact circumstances of our discovery should not be publicly disseminated on the blog....

[Elise]: Anyway, after a few days, we spaced the magnets out and used them as individual comm bases. Now that we have the campus magnets in there, we can do the same thing with all the contextual acts on campus and use the synch with Mississippi State's mag-net to enhance our information processing and retrieval capabilities.

[Sibil]: Ok, so how do the high schools and the jails tie into our primary information processing, based on campus?

[Porto]: *shakes head*

[Elise]: You're not cleared for that.... basically they are doing pretty much/usually the same thing every day and the MWF TTH schedule on campus confuses people.

[Sibil]: But I need to clarify my guiding intent for my work with the parental unit interface as it relates to our elemental computer thingy.

[Porto]: No you don't; all you need to know is that Britt, His Earthly Father and his Earthly (step) Mother map to our other people who live at home.

[Sibil]: oh... ok.... So if I want to help work on comm from one of my other bases WITHOUT SPENDING ANY MONEY what kinds of things should I pay attention to?

[Elise]: Anything magnetic or affected by magnets.

[Porto]: You already know magnets make speakers work, magnets also make refrigerator and freezer compressors work....

[Elise]: Anything like that with some constancy will help you synch with the broader collective consciousness through the power grid instead of through the "Illumanitai" interfaces normally used....

[Porto]: Just move some refrigetator magnets around so your subconscious can detect when the compressor comes on through a melding of your act of Will and magnetism....

[Jesus]: And remember kids... you GET points for "breaking stuff" to communicate with other monkeys or help them out with physical stuff, so don't be a hermit and try to hang out "up-here" with your head-up-your-ass too much, it's self-defeating.... besides, it's kind of sad....

Tire Base....

2010-11-23T12:14:00.000-08:00

[....]: Oh hell yeah... they've got a computer....

[Beavis]: Yep, this is Tire Base....

[Butthead]: From here we can monitor cars on the highway who have been serviced at the base....

[????]: Hey! where are you going?

[Butthead]: No... it's ok, people leave the tour and go off on their own all the time....

[Beavis]: Yeah, be cool... we don't want anyone to think we're trying to drag them back to the cave and eat 'em.....

[////]: So what do we have?

[::::]: A lot of talk between the monkeys about the nature of the mind and the subconscious, prompted by a book we found in the vehicle we came here in....

[;;;;]: Eight big magnets, and the rest of the smaller ones that they had in the store at Radioshack....

['''']: A CD from Radioshack....

[++++]: and a bunch of chopsticks from the Chinese buffet....

[././]: Cool... ok, when we get back to Farm Base, we need to--

[::::]: One of the monkeys said we were going to finish the shelves in the stormhouse when we got back....

[././]: That's cool, it can wait... I was just wondering if we should listen to the CD as soon as possible or after the batteries that are in it now run out (it's on repeat with the headphones near the magnet one of the monkeys brought with him)....

I said no.... damnit.... we're not doing that right now, we're gonna finish this article first....(update 4 links)

2010-11-21T04:18:00.000-08:00

[Narrator]: After dreaming fo cheap accomadations... and something about Cuba, our heroes awaken.....

[Some God]: Hey, let's watch some television....

[Narrator]: Surfing the Direct TV guide, someone notices the time...

[some "fairy"]: hey, 5:55 let's eat breakfast....

[Kevin]: Honey, on pancakes?

[Boris]: You don't sound very enthusiastic comrade.

[Kevin]: I'm not... I'll do it, I just don't think it will taste as good as syrup.

[Narrator]: Putting the margarine up, Britt "accidently" puts it in the microvave.

[Dude]: Now why'd I do that?

[some "fairy"]: I dunno, but somebody was noticin' how we put the pancakes in there to warm them up and that the "butter" melted on the pancakes....

[some other "fairy"]: *shrugs* maybe they want to see it again....

[Kevin]: ugh..uh.... we're not doing that, but I can show everybody how it works.

[Narrator]: Getting out Britt's earthly father's laptop, Kevin hooks up to the phone line before navigating to HowStuffWorks.com.

[Some Gaki]: Ok, first we need to see how the refrigerator works, people have been hearing it come on while the body sleeps and getting signs....

[Another Gaki]: We need to see hoe the the tv works too....

[Kevin]: Ok, well this is a LCD tv, the one in the dream wasn't....

[Dude]: I think it was mechanical....

[Kevin]: Yeah, maybe, the screen was glass but it didn't have a CRT did it?

[Some Gaki]: Hey, let's do a blog entry....

[Butthead]: Uh... ok.

[Beavis]: Christ this thing's slow.... hey, are we going to church today?

[Butthead]: Oh... uh ok.... did anyone ever make a decision about whether we were going to go to McDonalds during Sunday School or not?

Puck's Back!

2010-10-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Drafting at a secure location....

[Mary]: He's back!

[Kevin]: Who?

[Sibil]: Puck! We were doing negotiations with Oberon--or somebody last night about him stepping down as fairy governor of Eta Cassiopeiae and coming back here to work for Britt....

[Zim]: Work for my ass...

[Mary]: *turns to the fairy* What do you mean?

[Porto]: Puck doesn't work for anybody--Puck runs shit.

[Zim]: I mean he's not an asshole or anything but--well that's social crap, the monkeys aren't cleared for it....

[Elise]: Well... that's kinda His job working for britt, Britt's bringing magic back and a fairy's job is to preserve the status quo.

[Porto]: I thought Britt was a fairy....

[Elise]: He is.... well *distainfully* a changeling really....

[Zim]: That's social crap....

[Elise]: But even so, he's a dark fairy, see, the Continuum strives to maintain its physical integrity just like any other organism; fairies are agents of the Continuum--like white blood cells....

[Red]: So a dark fairy is an aspect of black imagination?

[Elise]: no... imagination is a "different" thing entirely. Dark Fairies just change the status quo -- you know, when something is really wrong.

[Zim]: *turns to Mary* How do you know Puck's back?

[Mary]: We heard on the radio that some 4 year old went joy riding in a fire truck or something; one time.... shit, years ago, when we were all hanging out together, we heard about some 3 year old driving one of those little battery-powered cars in city traffic and Puck said it was him.

[Porto]: Ok ...shit..., so what's up?

[Kevin]: We're supposed to post a security entry, just for Poeple getting their foot in the door--you know....

[Sibil]: Yeah, we've got orders not to post anything that isn't previously drafted at a secure location while Cyberweek is going on.

[Mary]: After we touch base with the alumni at Homecoming, things should get back to normal.

[Kevin]: ok, then, that's done, what else is on the list to do?

[Sibil]: We're supposed to read the Wall Street Journal and show People how our monkey's reading rate is different...

[Zim]: Why do monkeys not notice stuff like that?

[Mary]: Like what?

[Zim]: Why their reading rate is different for different stuff?

[Mary]: They usually attribute it to the difficulty--like hard words and stuff--or their unfamiliarity with, the material....

[Elise]: ....ok.... but why does the reading voice "in their heads" not "sound" the same as their "thinking voice"?

[Kevin]: not really sure... I've heard a lot of theories on that....

[Zim]: But why don't they notice it?

[Mary]: They do notice.... they're reading....

[Elise]: He means why don't they react, like white blood cells rejecting other foreign stuff?

[Red]: oh... since they recognize they are reading and know that the information didn't come from them, they treat the source as "the other" and I guess it goes into the same category as other social interaction that is not (normally) repelled--from what I understand, most of them "hear" another monkey speaking....

[Elise]: But why is it always the same voice? When a white male is reading a novel by a black person, or a woman, they still hear a white guy talking.

[Kevin]: Yeah, its the same with black people too... I guess that since when they are reading the information is right in front of them and no one else is using it, they anthropomorphise and unconsciously assume its already theirs so their subconscious can do whatever they want with it *shrugs*

[Porto]: *grumbling* Cause we don't have enough magic...

[Sibil]: Huh?

[Porto]: Yeah, that's one thing we're working on. See, when monkeys write, their native ethereals get more expression--like it said in The Psychology Student Writer's Manual, when they write, they find new connections between ideas they've taken in and express concepts that they didn't know they held.

[Mary]: But what about when other people write?

[Porto]: That's what I'm saying.... The monkeys have no idea, up-top, how responsive to suggestion they are... a man sees a red car, a little chocolate colored dog, a blue dress, then he beats his wife--sure, there may be other "reasons" but every time, a, b, c, d. Why?

When the native ethereals--or subconscious of a monkey--

[Elise]: ok, hang on--as far as the white blood cell file goes--what is the subconscious of the monkey?

[Porto]: Basically a combination of the gestalt expression of all the "atoms" and combinations of "atoms" composing the monkey's aura plus the previous decision patterns and their outward expressions as they result in the moment of the person up-top making decisions for "everyone" represented by the collective.

[Zim]: Previous decision patterns--I thought that was the monkey.

[Porto]: kind of, monkeys look at things as if they are distinct from each other and the white blood cell file is based on monkey science--I guess it would be more appropriate to say that the personality software is the monkey.

[Mary]: Right... the personality software is a program governing the behaviour of a machine that developed from the operation of that machine.

[Sibil]: But if the personality software is the monkey, then doesn't that ignore the make-up of the "machine"?

[Mary]: You monkey... didn't you study?

Just joking you're right actually. If we're going to use monkey science to get magic back, we have to have a scientifically determinative description of the actions of the monkey--mere gestalt behavior won't cut it....

[Elise]: So the monkey is the personality software that decides preferences and behavior up-top.

[Porto]: ok. anyway, when other non-"up-top" people come up with something and the monkey writes it down and another monkey reads it, the 1st monkey communicates/facilitates communication between Monkey A and Monkey B.

This facilitation of communication allows Monkey B to be influenced by the suggestion of the sub-conscious of Monkey A.

So when one monkey reads what another monkey has written, it would be nice to have some kind of warning and the best warning everyone can agree on is a voice similar--or at least representative of the monkey that wrote the data.

But once we had decided that, People got involved. Instead of monkeys and native ethereals/subconsciouses/whatever getting their word out, they wanted to tell the monkeys what to think; so--at least in the case of fiction, instead of the "author's voice" reading to Monkey B, it was decided to put the characters on a People trailer and have different voices read the novel to the monkey

Our broker, Quark, thinks it will be really lucrative; all we have to do is sell a spell when people buy the book.

[Red]: I've heard a lot about Quark, is He as good as people say?

[Porto]: *grimaces* not so much when we're doing neutral stuff like the casino project. We're all playing both sides and tripping over bullshit stuff... I hear Scrooge McDuck's firm is the best thing going right now--of course, if you've got plenty of money, Al's firm, Black Horse Securities LLC. is really good at high risk/high reward stuff.

Mission Accomplished!

2010-10-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Drafting today's Blog post at a secure location, "Britt" wants to turn to a fresh page in hopes the pen will write better but doesn't....

[Britt et al.]: --

[Kevin]: *turns to Britt* Let's not use common voice on this...

OK guys... unless you've got the "run-out" version of a firewall, we don't think we're talking to you.

[Snape]: We appear to be on-line with low-level puppeteers or perhaps hackers like us....

[That Guy]: The good news--I guess--is that after the unclassified briefing yesterday on USCC, these guys picked out a candle bottle of Sweet Bitch Merlot....

[....]: A fucking magnum....

[The Kernel]: We're working on it now. We think the 'reason' they picked that is that we mentioned the Sweet Bitch merlot bottle sitting on top of the NSA book and pamphlet in the "green room" of the TOC.

[Nancy]: Then again, Britt might just be crazy and his subconscious picked the bottle.

[Al]: We hate to get into either/or logic doing this stuff, but one thing's for sure, these guys can spend money...

[NSA]: Ok, now what did you do before and after the briefing?

[That Guy]: Well we stayed in bed Monday--

[....]: Yeah, we were working on some white blood cell stuff and got a sore throat and runny nose out of it....

[That Guy]: But we made it to the Copywrite presentation yesterday, got a T-shirt and changed before the NSA USCC briefing so we'd have that camoflague thing "you guys" wanted....

[////]: We bracketed all the signifigant events of the day with the School paper and immediately after the briefing, we went to Radio Shack and got 10 1.5 inch bar magnates plus some small magnets.

[????]: The plan is to leave them at a secure location on campus so they can acclimate to the campus mag-net and then place them individually in various locations so they can be charged up with various intensities....

[Mary]: *looks aside* Huh?

[Sibil]: We've just been informed we need to get the monkey in bed so we can be well enough to go to the Student Debt/financial awareness thing tomorrow

[Kevin]: Oh, before we go the most signifigant things we've done/are doing is--

[????]: Let me tell it....

[Cartman]: Ok, we were going to sleep the other night and we "heard" some stuff we had been working on go out, but the recipients seemed not to know what it was about, so somebody said we might be talking to people at home and they didn't know up-top, what it was about...

[Kyle]: So we smoked the rest of the cigar we'd started and afterward somebody wanted something to read the monkey hadn't read yet....

[Kenny]: So we were... it kinda felt like we were led to a book we'd forgotten about, Piers Anthony's And Eternity

We're using it --sporadically for our wake-up take-off....

[Stan]: Using the fresh book as a platform, last week we watched Agent Cody Banks As soon as we get a chance, we're going to watch Agent Cody Banks 2 before getting into Britt's movie library....

[....]: Oh yeah, before we go, you should know that our dominant ambient as we write this is Coast to Coast AM....

[NSA]: Woah wait a minute, what should we do?

[....]: Damnit we're trying to synch with the movie!

[Kevin]: Wait a minute, you guys don't have a plan or something?

[Darren]: Good idea this stuff works better that way....

[Al]: Personally, I'd just observe "Anderson" and see what he does, maybe engage him directly--ask him what he's smiling about, why he's holding his hands a certain way--maybe--if you can catch him, who he's talking to....

Oh, yeah, this could be important, that Sweet Bitch Merlot bottle on top of the NSA book and pamphlet was originally charged up with the movie Cruel Intentions with a rainbow assortment of candles by The Devil Club.

[The Devil from Bedazzled]: Just so you know...

[Kyle]: Oh yeah, your guy shouldn't, I repeat should not spend any money on this shit

[....]: hey, that's an anagram

[????]: What?

[....]: "this shit"

[????]: I wonder if the rest of what he's saying is an anagram?

[Stan]: Yeah, one of the ways we're hacking conspiracy theories is the Federal Reserve and it looks really important doing it through Britt since he doesn't have much money...

[NSA]: Hey, you guys are going to the FBI thing?

[....]: Uh.... yeah.

[NSA]: Are you going to make him conscious too?

[////]: Uh.... I don't know....

[????]: Yeah, there's this Mafia/Vampire thing we've got going on, but "However it work," you know....

[....]: Yeah, we're pretty much running on intent....

Hey You! NSA Guy--Yeah You!

2010-10-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Looking at the notices on the kiosk by the Post Office, Britt's entourage comes accross something interesting....

[////]: Cool...

[????]: What?

[////]: They are having that computer security conference again. You remember, we went last year....

[....]: Yeah, we just saw a girl in the library wearing one of the T-shirts; remember? People wanted us to sit between her and the DVD player as we charged it up.

[////]: Hey, look at this, on the 19th some NSA guy is going to give a presentation....

[????]: NSA? No Shit?

[Nancy]: Ok, so the 9th, the 14th, the 16th, and the week of the 18th, we have shit to do?

[Campus]: What's on the 9th?

[Beavis]: some church thing we saw advertized on the highway...

[Campus]: Oh....

[Narrator]: After leaving campus by the traffic signal at the Research park, Britt ignores the background chatter until after getting through the Sherriff depertment's road block at Hickory Grove Road....

[some Person]: Right so....

[Dude]: Woah, we're not going to give a verbatim account of what the monkey "heard."

[That Person]: Well, fictionalize it.... the important things are that we are assuming the guy is the NSA's offered guinea pig for purposes of evaluating the technology, that Britt has expressed an initial reluctance to singling the guy out and making him "conscious," and that Britt doesn't have control over where the information the "subs" obtain goes since He is dealing universally and no one really has any interest in what happens on earth--

[Quark]: Which is why it is imparitative that they pay him to consult. By getting in on the ground floor, they can be more certain of maintaining their information security....

[Dude]: You want me to put in there that all we're really going on with the NSA anyway is that article we read on their personal connection technology and the pamphlet we found by the neighbor's trash can?

[That Person]: No need....

[Narrator]: Pedaling down Hickory Grove Road, Britt "picks up" bits and piecies of various conversations:

[convo 1]: Man, another personal connection with the NSA....

[convo 2]: I'm interested in hearing the guy's presentation....

[convo 3]: I bet they aren't as good at personal connection firewalling as Opus Dei....

[Britt]: So they want us to go to the whole conference, not just the NSA guy's presentation....

[Baal]: Yeah, the idea is that if we attend the whole conference, it will hide our true objective....

[Narrator]: Baal pauses as he feels the need to deal with a related topic....

[Dude]: What? we're trying to draft a blog post we can save to the account so you guys can review it....

[NSA]: You finish that novel you were reading?*

[Dude]: *shakes head* No, we left it face down in the library's fifth floor reading room.

[....]: Yeah, we stopped at the part where the submarine commander told everyone to look Danish....

[////]: Ja Ja, we were thinking they were being Sweedish, but the Valkyries have been saying Ja for a while and we had other stuff to be doing anyway

and unless someone knows what's going on, they won't know what we're up to.

[Lillith]: Ok, now what's this about us being reluctant to make the guy conscious?

[Dude]: Well, the main thing is that Britt thinks we're hacking another version of consciousness technology.

[Baal]: He might think that cutting the guy in on our stuff might compromise our efforts on other fronts to observe, mimic, and subvert the efforts of our rivals.

[Lillith]: Ok, noted. So for in-house purposes, we're calling this operation "Anderson Cooper."

[Baal]: Huh?

[Dude]: Why?

[Lillith]: He did some kind of program on the occult and somebody's knee-jerk reaction over here was that he would be dismissive but it seemed a pretty fair hearing....

[....]: Besides, he is an anchor or something at CNN and that is the network that is always on at the library....

[Baal]: Project file Cinderella cross reference walking between the raindrops?

[Lillith]: *Smiles* What else?

[Dude]: You really think that the library and the pentagon are online with each other?

[....]: I don't see why not, they are made of the same stuff... besides, the color coded floor plan is great for impressing Britt's subconsciousness with the place memory concept.

[John]: Ok, so we're supposed to clean this up, save it, and wait about posting it wntil we see the guy?

[Ally]: Right, assuming the NSA actually does pay attention to us, they'll at least have notice before one of their people goes crazy.

*The preceeding dialogue was approved as a secure location, we apologize for earthly family crap in the monkey filter we are using.

What movies are we watching?

2010-10-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

[Al]: Shit... whatever they feel like watching. Why are they asking us?

[Daryl]: Our position in the body is that data is coming through the personal knowledge in a form the monkey can understand.

[Al]: So the NSA isn't really asking our advice on which movies they should see?

[Daryl]: No....

[Eugene]: What's up with Al?

[Bobby]: I dunno... "he's" usually on top of everything....

[John]: The identification of his personality profile as both the devil and a lawyer seems to have resulted in his interfacing through "virtual memory."

[Bobby]: It probably has something to do with the last movies we saw....

[////]: Huh....

[????]: What's up?

[....]: The library's content filter is keeping the Facebook movie from coming up but it's letting the other site through....

[????]: Huh....

[Spock]: There is a possibility that in the body we should regard his contributions and responses as indicative of the level of understanding possessed by his target audience.

[Eugene, Bobby & John]: Ahhhhhh......

[Al]: Whew.... I was kind of worried somewhere.... You guys get the DVD player charged up so we can watch the porno?

[Daryl]: Working on it; what do you want to do about that other thing?

[Al]: Other thing.... you'll have to be a little more specific. I'm not as good at reading signs over here as I am in Britt. Which "thing" are we talking about?

[Daryl]: It was suggested about two posts back--by someone appearing to represent an intelligence agency (posing a high school girl)-- that we should do blog posts on how the casino project worked and on how the high scool/jail information gathering and dissemination system worked.

We did a post on the casino project and it was suggested on the ride into town that we do the other post today.

[Al]: *narrows his brows* Didn't we get a more recent sign about what we should be doing?

[Daryl]: Right; between buying the charm at CVS and here, Britt saw an arrow in the gutter and it reminded us of a character--the archer--in a book we are reading. So do that instead then?

[Al]: Yeah... didn't they say on the BBC last night that it was international space week? If some monkey at the NSA is really that interested in "Britt's" activities, they can put a tail on him/her/it for all I care. And get that DVD player charged up; I want to see what happens the next time everyone takes a shower....

OK, that's done...What do you guys want to do next?I dunno, somebody said go look around for some free food....

2010-09-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

[Carl Sagan]: Okay.... I get that everything the monkey thinks of as "real" can be likened to holographic interference patterns which are--in effect-- "everyone's" inability to agree on anything, but I'm still having a hard time understanding how we are going to make money at the casino....

Now this... amulet--

[Beavis]: Charm necklace...

[Carl]: right... necklace... that we're making; it's function is to allow you guys/us to exist "up-top" in the other casino patrons, paralleling their continuity of consciousness?

[Butt-head]: Right... I doubt we'll have any demonstrable control of their actions but as long as they're hoping for luck, some sort of fortune, mildly out of the ordinary favorable outcome, or even dreading the inevitability of loss, we should be able to observe from their perspective and even suggest to them possible courses of action.

[Carl]: *puzzled* And then we're going to relay this varied assortment of viewpoints to Britt? .... It might work for Blackjack, but I have serious doubts about....

[Beavis]: Huh? Oh..... you're talking about monkeys! No, no no no.... that's not where the data comes from....

[Butt-head]: Right, we're just using the monkeys to observe what Britt is observing from another perspective. See, the whole idea behind the casino project is that given a limited number of possibilities and range of outcomes, there are only a finite number of things that can possibly happen.

By being "up-top" we are in a position to quantify all relevant phenomena. So when a pattern emerges, like say... "18 at 3rd base on Blackjack table 2; chick in the third crapper; 5 just came up on the next craps table; God knows what else... we can tell Britt--through the usual signs to bet on a hard four.

[Carl]: Ohhh... so when you guys say "up-top" you mean macroscopically....

[Beavis]: Yeah, we are the smudges on the chips... the shiver of the blond in the spaghetti strap dress, the evaluation itself--of whether or not the waitress will offer Daryl another cocktail...

[Carl]: I don't mean to be a sourpuss but I think it's going to take you awhile to get all that data translated into a useable form....

[Butt-head]: Nahhh.... besides, we're practicing on the students... you know, the monkeys, their books, cell phones, that kind of thing....

[Beavis]: besides, "Britt" decided to take $1000 down, you know, so everybody could just have fun without feeling pressured....

[Butt-head]: Plus, with all the magnets communicating, we'll be able to run everything we get at the casino though our economic and meteorological models....

[Volk]: Easy as cake....

[Zayats]: Piece of pie....

Oh my God... he really is crazy....But is he a security risk? That's the question....

2010-09-07T16:48:00.000-07:00

[....]: So we're just supposed to be neutral?

[Butthead]: No.... we're supposed to do what we feel like doing. Britt is supposed to be neutral.

[Beavis]: Yeah, like we're supposed to hang out at the "safe place" where everything's more fluid.

[////]: Like in the pond when we were setting up that device.

[????]: So you guys finally got that finished?

[the NSA]: What device?

[????]: Oh, we had Britt read a bunch of books on weather forecasting, the economy, writing, grammar--all kinds of stuff & charge up some bar magnets....

[****]: Meanwhile, we had 25 small magnets stuck to the tools in the center room of the TOC so they had as little relative motion as possible....

[????]: Then, when the reading was done, we bought 25 plastic bottles of different kinds of drinks and took a sip of the drink, dropped a magnet in, then finished the drink....

[****]: Then after that was done, we went out to the pond and set them up in 5 lines with one of the bar magnets on the bottom of the pond in the middle....

[????]: So now we have 25 "colored" magnets floating in bottles of neutral buoyancy (we put some of the pond water in the bottles) with one of the bar magnets "collecting data"....

[****]: Well, 24.... one of the magnets fell out when we poured the water out one time before we got it right, so we're using that magnet as a neutral....

[????]: So what about the other bar magnet?

[****]: we're using it as we read another superstition book in the Union food court while it's busy; we're basically just sensitizing it to the proximity of other monkeys besides britt so we can understand their Matryoshka dolls....

[????]: Oh THEN we're going to take it to the casino and while everybody is hoping for good luck, we're going to see what's going on....

[****]: Yeah, the plan is to make Britt some money so he can stop "living like a rat" but britt said the main thing was to have fun and synch with monkeys of differing economic strata and backgrounds....

[???]: You can't take a big bar magnet into a casino! they'll think you're cheating....

[??]: Its only an inch and a half long....

[****]: Already thought of that; we bought a magnetic locket from Claire's that is based on the Alice in Wonderland 3D movie that says "drink me" and is in the shape of a flask--not the one of Hatter--and a Cinderella locket we found at Kroger. In those we put some little round "rare earth" magnets from Radioshack. We've got their chains and the lockets wrapped around the bar magnet that "knows" what's going on so it can charge them up with the "monkey see" stuff--and whatever else it "thinks" is important I guess....

[***]: yeah, that's why we put the TOC's corner magnets on strings and left the shortwaves on while we were getting ready to set up the device, to synch with the Earth's magnetic field and through it, those of the sun, other stars and galaxies--other universes' magnetic fields too I guess....

[....]: So now we're....--....

[...]: By the monkey term "we're" we mean over at Britt's place....

[....]: assimilating data, finally getting back to the "casino" project, and working on the Cinderella Algorithm?

[Butthead]: No... just collecting data and the casino project; neither Britt nor britt care about the other monkeys--in so far as the Cinderella project is concerned.

[...]: But we're working on the Cinderella Algorithm for Britt too right?

[Beavis]: Well, if you put it that way, yeah, but the Cinderella Algorithm over at britt's is more like collecting coincidences--

[////]: So "he's" living in a movie!

[Beavis]: Uh yeah.... but the way the scientists look at it is like superfluidity....

[Butthead]: Yeah, good luck/bad luck--shit its all luck, know what I mean?

[///]: Not really but okay....

[Narrator]: Butthead turns to Beavis....

[Butthead]: so how are we using it?

[Beavis]: I thought we just covered that?

[Butthead]: you know what I mean.

[Beavis]: basically what we said--

[Lowell]: "He" might be referring to the dream thing.

[Beavis]: Oh, well as you know, in Toltec mythology, there is both a waking dream and a sleeping dream--like Row Row Row Your Boat. So we're working on classifying the monkeys and making sure that "everyone" at least gets it--even if they don't appreciate it so that the grass, the air, the trees, and the water can understand and function as cumulative gestalts like the monkeys do....

[Butthead]: But the monkeys don't believe that those things "think."

[Beavis]: Yeah, whatever--look, even if the monkeys are right, carbon atoms always "say" the same thing as do oxygen, hydrogen, and nitrogen; all we have to do is treat what they say as phonemes and put it together like magnetic poetry....

[Jesus]: *livid* but they're still only saying what you want them to!

[Butthead]: shit Jesus, it's what we've got--

[Beavis]: Besides, if they care enough, they can choose the "sounds" and words for us--directing out attention or something--at least until we can get the nymphs and dryads manifested....

[Butthead]: So how are we figuring out what they mean?

[Beavis]: Power lines....

[Butthead]: Power lines?

[Beavis]: Yeah, see in B[b]ritt's "little system" everything is a cohesive whole so everything he does has to fit together. Now mostly we do this with his/its continuity of consciousness but the power line thing allows us to get "off the pad." See since the monkeys generally know what they are doing and why they are doing it, we basically teach their houses what's going on (the consciousness up-top) and the houses break it down to the weather and "surrounding" flora and fauna. They tell the other layers of the atmosphere and the Earth's magnetic field. That tells the sun, the sun tells the other stars and they break it down to their "people" and it eventually gets back to us.

[the NSA]: oh, okay. So what about the dreams--the sleeping kind?

[Butthead]: Well, as far as you guys are concerned, you're just supposed to have vivid dreams and Britt's intent is that you have a cohesive dream life, that is, that you remember from one night to the next like you do from one day to the next in your waking life.

[the NSA]: But what are you doing with them?

[Beavis]: Basically classifying you guys so we can talk to each monkey level, same with the air, the water, trees, &c; to all the carbon atoms, all the iron, the "natural forces"--everything really....

[some NSA computer guy]: But why am I giving press conferences in my dreams?

[Butthead]: Oh, Britt's reading Rule By Secrecy by Jim Marrs at the TOC on days he doesn't go to campus so we've got the NSA (since they are under the Department of Homeland Security) reporting to the people on what's "really" going on.

[Beavis]: Since a Teaparty member lives across the road from the TOC, I guess you're reporting to the resistance.

[the NSA]: The resistance?

[Butthead]: You know, a bunch of factions that are dissatisfied with the policies and actions of the official government(s).

[Leo]: you can't do that. We've got secrets--there are things the people aren't cleared for....

[Butthead]: look, we can do whatever we want. Even if you did something to Britt or the stuff he makes for us, it still wouldn't affect the fact that we are like music bars and you guys are a bunch of quarter notes.

[Beavis]: Besides, all you have to do is pay Britt $10,000 an hour to consult and he won't be putting stuff like this out to other monkeys....

[Butthead]: Yeah, like do it for your country.

Huh....

2010-08-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

[....]: okay, whatever.....

[????]: Did you guys see the Sunday New York Times?

[////]: Snake guy's obit and Graveyard of Technology story pretty cool huh?

[****]: We just got through with it....

[....]: Honestly, we had no idea where you guys were coming from....

[////]: Oh, and BTW, Britt charges $10,000 an hour to consult--pretty cheap as we're doing stuff with the whole flubin' universe right now....

Hey Earth Kids!

2010-07-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

[Jesus]: Hey, we've got a new game....

[....]: Go to this website: http://us.reachout.com....

[////]: Read an article, post a comment....

[????]: And have another member of your Magic Team find it and respond with their own giving you a clue to where to go next....

[././.]: You'll need either ethereal help or lots of free time to play

(there could be other options, this blog post is in no way meant to limit the poster(s), their mates, associated big wigs & jackasses, or any lookers on....)

so if you're just a life-limited monkey, I wouldn't bother....

[Apollo]: Keep it real!

[Cartman]: What Apollo probably means is not to be putting game-related comments on this public-service (and neutral) web site.

I've been here before....

2010-07-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

[Steve]: Man.... after a context altering ride like that, I'm stoked!

[Seven of Nine]: What... exactly... were we clarifying?

[Steve]: *waves hand* It was nothing something just came up in "Britt's" consciousness and was discussed and later someone... possibly someone "else"... presented Britt et. al with a situation; when someone said that though they could conceive it but that it wasn't going to happen *looks at notes* "the decision was made to make the presented situation an actuality."

[Seven]: And what is the relevance of that?

[Steve]: We've been working on a quantum multiple "worlds" approach and everybody's doing the best they can in a monkey.

[Seven]: Well let's get on with it then.... what's the mission?

[Steve]: Two cigars from the Shell station across from the Ford place and see what's going on at the Fire Station tonight....

Workin' for a livin'

2010-06-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

[....]: --

[Narrator]: Hang on a sec... we're including new people so let's use ["names"] from the beginning of the blog.

[....]: *disgusted* ooohhhwwww..... Judge Ishee said not to use Keehley on here....

[Narrator]: Fuck Judge Ishee; we eat lunch with Jay at his grave-site every July 4th.

[Eugene]: Still... the new people want to keep a low profile.

[Bobby]: What's next?

[Fish]: That'll work... *turns to Elaine* it sounded like there were some Bobby tracks on that... let's see if we can get my intonation cleaned up.

[Narrator]: Ok, so what are we doing?

[John]: We left the T.O.C. on a page-spread of the cryptography book to sell back the Dynaminc Meteorology book; after receiving a paltry $16...

[Tyler]: We were lucky to get that--

[Bea Arthur]: Really, with all those muddy paw prints, I didn't think we'd be able to give it away....

[Bea's laugh track]: Ha ha ha ha....

we got a pack of cigarettes, a Black & Mild wood tip, and some *reaches into backpack* "Baby Bottle Pop Candy;" then we went to Strangebrew Coffee house and spent the rest of the money on drinks while we played chess and read the free paper.

[Elaine]: There we met a National Guard buddy of Britt's who we'd seen on the phone with house designs in front of him.

[Ally]: We wanted Britt to engage him in conversation but he was on the phone and it would have resulted in a "Come to Me Rule" violation anyway--

[....]: So we helped the guy remember Britt and got him to come upstairs and say hello....

[John]: After the conversation, we went to the restroom and read an article for "cover" so we could catch everyone up on the back story--both physical world, and the national guard dreams we'd had recently.

[Eugene]: Upon returning from the restroom, we found two adults, both male & female, and a child a little younger than the girl in Push--we reflected both encounters on the chess board and played off of their physical world conversation and ethereal suggestions.

[Narrator]: Any problems?

[Lindsay]: We left the cigar on the floor; we're hoping it will still be there when we go back for it.

[Narrator]: When will be?

[Lindsay]: As soon as we get the other two magnets set-up and fill up the two-liter we brought with us with water from campus.

[Leo]: All right.... let's do this....

Whatever... good point though--the line/note thing "I" mean....

2010-06-07T17:09:00.000-07:00

"Not to go on all-fours; that is the Law. Are we not Men?
"Not to suck up Drink; that is the Law. Are we not Men?
"Not to eat Fish or Flesh; that is the Law. Are we not Men?
"Not to claw the Bark of Trees; that is the Law. Are we not Men?
"Not to chase other Men; that is the Law. Are we not Men?"

And so from the prohibition of these acts of folly, on to the prohibition of what I thought then were the maddest, most impossible, and most indecent things one could well imagine. A kind of rhythmic fervour fell on all of us; we gabbled and swayed faster and faster, repeating this amazing Law. Superficially the contagion of these brutes was upon me, but deep down within me the laughter and disgust struggled together. We ran through a long list of prohibitions, and then the chant swung round to a new formula.

"His is the House of Pain.
"His is the Hand that makes.
"His is the Hand that wounds.
"His is the Hand that heals."

And so on for another long series, mostly quite incomprehensible gibberish to me about Him, whoever he might be. I could have fancied it was a dream, but never before have I heard chanting in a dream.

"His is the lightning flash," we sang. "His is the deep, salt sea."

A horrible fancy came into my head that Moreau, after animalising these men, had infected their dwarfed brains with a kind of deification of himself. However, I was too keenly aware of white teeth and strong claws about me to stop my chanting on that account.

"His are the stars in the sky."

At last that song ended. I saw the Ape-man's face shining with perspiration; and my eyes being now accustomed to the darkness, I saw more distinctly the figure in the corner from which the voice came. It was the size of a man, but it seemed covered with a dull grey hair almost like a Skye-terrier. What was it? What were they all? Imagine yourself surrounded by all the most horrible cripples and maniacs it is possible to conceive, and you may understand a little of my feelings with these grotesque caricatures of humanity about me....

Hey man.... you know in music? You ever wonder what the lines sound like?Not the notes but the lines man....

2010-06-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

[....] What's up?

[????]: We're just posting an entry so the "monkey" can get something permanent onto the EM band.

[////]: Oh... OK, that's done.... now what?

[><><]: Uh.... some warnings maybe?

[!.!.]: ok guys, relax... we're just meeting a bunch of new "people" right now.

[><><]: In all likelihood you guys will slip of and never hear from THEM again.

[!.!.]: Ok, so first things first: DO NOT spend money on this shit--

[><><]: people are lazy enough as it is and you are just giving more control to the Masons and other factions of the Power Elite.

[!.!.]: Second, what we're doing here is building a power base of magic, not your personal little mind-game roller-coaster ride.

[%*%*]: We're gonna be fuckin' with you,--

[@@@@]: We won't lie to you.... it is mostly in fun--

[####]: But the important thing to remember is that you are lower on the food chain than we are.

[$]: If we're really that big a problem, feel free to come to Earth and sue Britt.

[@@@@]: He can be found within the jurisdiction of Oktibbeha County Mississippi at the T.O.C., that's Tactical Operations Command.

[####]: We'd give you more information, but that would make it too easy....

[@@@@]: Besides, the Sheriff's Department already knows where it is.

Wha ha ha (he he he he he) ha ha! Whha Ha Ha (he he he he he) ha ha. Whhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Wha ha ha (he he he he he) ha ha! Whha Ha Ha (he he he he he) ha ha. Whhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Wha ha ha (he he he he he) ha ha! Whha Ha Ha (he he he he he) ha ha. Whhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whhhha HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

(no shit man, that's a font)

You got those two coins?

2010-05-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Watching Fox News, Beavis suddenly exclaims:

[Beavis]: Fuckin' A!

[Butthead]: Uh... what?

[Beavis]: Mayfield died.

[Butthead]: Who?

[Beavis]: You know, Jimmie Mayfield? Black Sabbath... Ironman...

[Butthead]: *shakes head*

[Beavis]: The guy that popularized the "devil's horns" gesture?

[Butthead]: Oh! No shit? we use that all the time! *raises gesture* Da da da da da, da na da da da da da nah na....

[Peter Graves]: You know what's really cool?

[Beavis]: What?

[Peter]: We head about two useful deaths while Britt was reading the obituaries....

[Narrator]: Oh? Who else died?

[Butthead]: Oh yeah! The kid that was killed in a police raid.

[Peter]: I thought it was time to establish another base camp so I had Britt bring the Tetris game to the library.

[Narrator]: *pulling out his Mortis™ trading cards* Good idea.

[Peter]: Ok... I don't want to get into listing people so who are the primary dead people we use?

[Narrator]: Hmmm.... Groucho Marx came up in the context this morning but of the people Britt knows about in the body and are still "cooling off," we've primairly got me, Farrah, Michael, Phoebe, the college lacross player, and the female golfer....

[Butthead]: Ok. Phoebe's doing some anti-bully stuff for the little guys, the "plankton," The A-Team, and the kArmA POlIcE...

[Beavis]: PEOPLE are using the golfer to "find the course" so they can influence monkey society, the quick fast walkers are using Michael, Farrah's an Angel, and you *pointing at the narrator* are working with the narrators.

[Butthead]: Peter is working with Pink's anti-soul on the "Houston We've Got a Problem Algorithim", and I'm pretty sure Mayfield is going to be popular for a while....

[Peter]: The question is where do we fit the kid in? The young don't have fully developed native ethereals. If they start with a child ally, it is re-incorperated into the soul upon death and if they start out with a sub, it gets freed.... how do we ensure a schema for a 7 year old?

[The Raine Child]: She's with me. I just wish my monkey understood the dynamics of all this.

[Farah]: Get her to read The Secret Science Behind Miracles, it pretty much breaks all this stuff down....

[Betelgeuse]: In any event, until we can get the text of The Idiot's Guide to the After Life and The Afterlife for Dummies up-top, it'll have to do.... ok, anything else to cover, our ride's here.....

OK... What're we doin' here?

2010-05-04T07:04:00.000-07:00

[Tyler]: Where am I?

[Cartman]: Quiet on the set! Quiet on the set! QUIET ON THE SET!... Whatever....

[Tyler]: Cartman; man I'm glad to see you....

[Cartman]: You ready?

[Narrator]: Ready? Where are we?

[Cartman]: Oh.... The Continuum; Charmed Alpha 412 Bravo Multiverse; Universe J; Milky Way Galaxy 2079; System of Sol; Planet Terra a/k/a Earth; United States of America, May 4, 2010 Gregorian; Ripley Mississippi; Public Library; Public Terminal Number 5; Time line Niel Armstrong.

[Tyler]: Oh. We're here, what's my motivation?

[Cartman]: We're posting a blog entry to cut new people in on the electromagnetic spectrum. We've already lifted a hyperlink tag from an earlier blog entry .

[Narrator]: Well that about does it. Let's type this up and go get a Mellow Yellow....

[Tyler]: "I" could use a cigarette.

[Narrator]: I hear ya....

What the hell?

2010-02-22T22:08:00.000-08:00

[Cindy]: Oh COME ON!

[Butthead]: We needed a computer.

[Beavis]: But a hundred bucks for a room?

[Kevin]: Well shit man, when a writer needs a computer.... *shrugs*

[Sibil]: So what did we need to cover?

[Butthead]: Just cover... some People felt the need to tell Zeus some stuff and Apollo & Britt have him/her/it trapped in the blog....

[Beavis]: Cool. Let's go watch some television.

[Cindy]: That's it? That's what we spent 130 bucks for???

[Allah]: *comforting Cindy* I know... I know.... but Britt's pretty responsible for a little g.

***

[Narrator]: Later that morning, at the Secret Service....

[That Guy]: Woah... woah... woah....

[Kenny]: What?

[That Guy]: They know this is a novel right?

[Cartman]: Yeah, we discussed it in the last post....

[That Guy]: Oh.... *lowering and shaking his head* jesus christ....

[Agent Connelly]: What was on television the night that post was made?

[Agent Thornton]: *pulling up a schedule for Starkville's Metrocast associate* ....You're not gonna like this...

[Agent Phillips]: *coming into the room with coffee* The guy that wrote about running over Cheney playing Grand Theft Auto?

[Agent Connelly]: Yep... it says here that he also had the authenticity of $700 in U.S. Currency verified at a local bank earlier that day--five C-notes and four fifty dollar bills....

[Agent Thornton]: It says here that he remarked to the teller--speaking of the automated money counting machine--, "That thing makes sure it isn't counterfiet too?"

[Agent Phillips]: Uh yeah... has anyone noticed anything strange about the electronic devices lately?

[Agent Connelly]: I think we need to pay Mr. Newby a visit and tell him/them--whatever--that the government has its own resources for sorcery--practical quantum mechanics--whatever "they" call it....

***

[Narrator]: And at the Bar....

[Kilgore]: That idiot.

[The Collective Voice of the Committee on Professional Responsibility (CVCPR)]: He's going for a prior restraint on his right to free speech... he'll probably tie in his being a "Muslim" and that whole nebulous theory of theirs that the jihad isn't mere violent action but rather a personal metaphor demanding that the actions of the faithful be undertaken for the betterment of Islam and/or of the human condition in general....

[The CVCPR]: KILLGORE don't fall for it.... take no action, leave it to the Secret Service....

[The CVCPR]: We mean it Killgore... screw the "dignity of the profession" on this one, Stay out of It!

Maybe it's a sign....

2010-02-08T05:04:00.000-08:00

[????]: What was all that about?

[....]: We were just cutting & pasting the Web URL into our HTML--

[////]: That's the way we tell the monkeys on Earth what's monkey-important enough to look to other sources for--

[++++]: But sometimes we use it to provide emphasis.

[????]: Why did we use it a few lines back?

[++++]: Just to explain to the monkeys why we capatilized the word.

[...]: Mary says its rude to talk about stuff other people don't notice--

[----]: Plus they put you in the mental institution for stuff like that.

[????]: OK. Drop it. So what our bosses want to know is what is the big deal with this blog thing of yours?

[Britt]: That's what I want to know...

[That Guy]: It's fiction for Christ's Sake!

[....]: Stay out of this monkey!

[...]: You too anti-soul. *mumbling* Asshole's damn near a monkey.

[....]: Well, last night we were juggling using the Superbowl & all the people watching and our primary monkey remaining seperate from the human collective....

[...]: And then there's the fact they mainly get the blog on Earth, cause for the most part the rest of the universe doesn't have access to the terrestrial Internet--so its kinda unfair, as well as power-limiting to post on it when we're doing really important stuff....

[????]: But now, since we're eating breakfast with them anyway, it's OK huh?

[////]: Yeah, might as well--lots of people like the monkey to post on here as a way of maintaining a sense of seperateness from the primary gestalt--

[!!!!]: THAT GUY! "I" thought we told you to to shut up!

[Darren]: You bastard! Now cause of what you said, we've got to get clarification from the monkey that your remarks don't diminish anyone's individuality.

[Al]: The HELL we do, they've had that worked out.

[Old Scratch]: But just to be on the safe side, *turns* Britt--

[Britt]: What do "I" look like, the author of Nature Loves to Hide?

[Zim]: That Guy talks for lots of people huh?

[Scott]: Yeah.

[Narrator]: It will be noted that on the advice of Judge Ishee, former Mississippi attorneys will appear under assumed names.

[Butters]: That's not an assumed name, those are the closest graves to City Bagel in the cemetery where Keehley's buried!

[Scott]: Yeah, we assumed it as a stand-in name.

[Butters]: Oh, ok.... I just didn't want to piss anybody off.

[****]: *thinks* Speaking of pissing people off... Why are all those monkeys wearing the same clothes?

[That Guy]: Where?

[Butters]: Over there, some are wearing blue and some beige....

[Kyle]: Hey! Isn't that Dolph Bryan?

[Cartman]: Yep.... your Sherriff since 1976....

[Kenny]: mmuvhmm-mmuvhmm!

[Kyle]: Yeah, they didn't stay last night, how come they get to eat here?

[Cliff]: That's pretty common. Law enfocement and inn-keepers have a tradition of reciprocity going back to antiquity....

[Britt]: Jeee-sus.... not this crap again.

[Mary]: We already fought that one guys.

[Sibil]: Yeah, we decided we couldn't win without magic or money... remember?

[....]: Yeah, "I" know, we're just setting up a law enforcement bleed-off for our work on "cop-control"....

[Mary]: Oh, the air trafic control for cars--

[...]: Yeah, it ties into our work on Weather really easily....

[Allah]: OK, but Britt doesn't need to go to jail right now, most of the books he still needs to read are hardcover and they don't allow those there.

[????]: Why not?

[...]: Somebody might use 'em to make a weapon I guess....

[John]: Sounds good, but let me do some research real quick and see how much trouble we could get into for somn'..... oh, its a misdemeanor... OK.

[????]: What was all that about?

[....]: Our primary monkey has had some problems interfacing with "his" professional association, the sherriff's department, and of course that earthly family crap--no one's heard from "his" mother in a while... we're all hoping ("up-top" in Britt) she's dead.

[????]: Oh... *apparently talking to a superior* ...monkey shit....

[God]: So what's this cop-control stuff?

[....]: Mainly it provides a means of extending the ethereal justice function to the roads so that only monkeys who have been bad have car wrecks, allows for easier discovery of bodies, homeland security, that kind of thing--

[...]: Of course every now and then "good" people need to be slowed down so their context can be beneficially altered....

[Narrator]: as [...] goes on, the "family" falls into discussion....

[Mary]: So what's this novel about?

[Britt]: It's pretty much the same novel--

[That Guy]: Well, we of course wanted to avoid the problems and entangled relationships that happened the last time we tried to write it, but the basic plot is the same.

[Sibil]: Yeah, we're just going to use the "characters" in this one to bulk up the "monkey" personality attributes of people who've been really good to us "up-here".

[Britt]: It's still about a group of college students, following their college careers from high school into and through college,

[That Guy]: and they still meet the older guy that they become erotically involved with; but rather than telling the story from a mixture of the first and third person perspective, the story is instead told from the viewpoint of various aspects of the students' subconsciousnesses, which the reader comes to realize really are different people.

[Mary]: But wouldn't that be the third-person perspective?

[Nabokov]: No. Not really; you see to tell the story in that way demeans the status of the discovered persona.

[Jung]: Yes, from their perspective, it's their body, not being able to seize an opportunity due to reasons of social acceptability or the monkey not performing as desired because of the "force of habit" is no different to them than a wall standing between where one is and where one wants to go is to a monkey.

[George]: By neglecting that fact and treating the various aspects of the students' psyches as some tounge-tied indecisive "unconscious" you make the mistake most "people" do before reading "Britt's" novel....

[Hunter S. Thompson]: But, before we can really get going on the thing, we have to finish the mag-net and casino projects. So lets let these workaholics have their computer back so we can go back up to the room and watch The Invention of Lying again before check-out.

Hey Britt, we've got shit to do....

2010-01-28T08:36:00.000-08:00

[Twiki]: Bede Bede... What's up bubble-butt?

[Mary]: Does it show that much?

[That Guy]: What did I tell you guys about that old-ass RSI?

[Adam]: *grins* Sorry....

[Jimmy]: What happened?

[Sibil]: It's just stuff that's been building up for a few years and the last set of holidays pushed us over some psychological line in the role....

[Kevin]: Since then... I guess... "they've" been keeping us on-line with fat people, I guess to increase our discomfort level and motivate everyone to lose this gut.

[Jimmy]: Oh... so what's the plan?

[Milo]: We're fasting before the Superbowl and then we're going to get a membership at Anytime Fitness.

[Adam]: You guys catch the State of the Union address?

[Narrator]: Unable as of yet to express the various viewpoints "up-top," in Britt, Adam's question is answered by a gestalt feeling accompanied by rudimentary cover a moment later....

[Darren]: So did anyone ever figure out what that background on CNBC was all about?

[Al]: Somebody said it was the spinning globe of another planet.

[Kevin]: *takes a hit* Looked like a bunch of donkeys to me.

[Darren]: Maybe so... some weird looking donkeys though--

[Narrator]: Feeling a bit disassociated Darren asks:

[Darren]: Now that we're memorializing stuff on the blog, can somebody fill me in on what's going on--"I" think I must have incorporated some other variations of my "self" last night.

[The Little Guys]: Sure...

[The Four Guys]: Last night we finished making a device to provide monkey time hacks for stuff we observe here so we can--among other things--more effectively target the context of individual monkeys.

[Darren]: How'd we make it?

[Tinkerbell]: We took the face off an analog alarm clock then glued those little round magnets from Radio Shack at all the numbers. Then we put a little round magnet on the back of the second hand where it sticks out a little and covered the other side of the second hand, the minute hand, and the hour hand with iron filings we shaved off a pair of needle-nose Vice Grips....

[The Little Guys]: We had to get the pliers because we messed up the first attempt at the device and had to use something to hold the little magnets while we shaved the Epoxy off them so we wouldn't take a chance on cutting our fingers--I think that was "your" idea.

[Darren]: *smiling to 'him'self* But that won't help us target individual monkeys--not without specifically intending it--

[The Four Guys]: Nah... probably not, that's what the Kansas CD we bout at the fuel store and charged up is for. The clock device is just a component of a larger device we set up before going up to Britt's Earthly Father's for the holidays.

[Darren]: What does it do?

[Tinkerbell]: As far as the monkey is concerned, it measures magnetic turbulence, primarily near the lithosphere and in the troposphere.

[Darren]: Magnetic turbulence?

[The Little Guys]: Yeah--see the Earth monkey live in a sea of ambient electromagnetism. The area around fixed magnets is like the area around rocks in a stream--filled with turbulence and eddies... it's kind of like feng shui for phenomena the monkeys can quantify.

[Darren]: But wouldn't it be an extremely localized phenomena? How could you make use of that?

[The Four Guys]: Moving magnetic point sources. See, in every car there are permanent magnets in the alternator and in the speakers. in addition, when generating power for the battery when the car is in operation, a field is produced by the alternator's electromagnet. When the moving magnetic point source travels past our Mag-Net, changes in how the mag-net senses other "fixed" magnets--such as the ones in the neighbor's television speakers--are detected. Over a period of "time" we can build a "pictorial" representation of activity patterns and make good guesses as to terrain features, much like a weather map indicating temperatures, fronts, humidity, etc.

[Darren]: What are we using the mag-net for?

[The Little Guys]: Gettin' magic....

[Darren]: *scowling* I kind of figured that; how?

[The Four Guys]: --this is the monkey's understanding; just so everybody knows-- by treating the lines of magnetic force like the branches of a television antenna.

[Darren]: Oh yeah! This is part of the monkey's work on the Three Body Problem; I thought we were going to use a pond for that.

[Tinkerbell]: We are. We're just setting this up while we're finishing reading.

[Darren]: What do we have left?

[Tinkerbell]: The illustrated weather book, the meteorology text book we picked up a the bookstore, the "Wall Street" books we got at Books-a-Million in Tupelo, the cryptography book we got at Barnes & Noble in Tupelo... *sighs* two more readings of the chemistry book from Barnes & Noble in Tupelo, and whatever market book we pick up when we go to the Barnes & Noble on campus and pay for with our coffee after having rolled their coffee dice.

[Darren]: Right.... now I--I mean WE remember. We're using weather and the stock market to study each other and then we'll get back to the casino project.

[Al]: Right. What do you need from me?

[The Little Guys]: What time is it in England?

[Al]: 6:18 pm.

[The Little Guys]: We've gotta post this and get to campus.

[The Four Guys]: Somebody said we needed to find a discarded copy of the Wall Street Journal so we can start a fire in the wood heater and study wind patterns.

[Butters]: Well all right... hey somebody tell the guys up-top we've got shit to do.

No More Rounding!

2009-12-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

[Narrator]: As storms rage in Starkville, two angels sit peacefully on top of a cloud....

[First Angel]: Hey... did you see Susan Kraemer's article in Scientific American's email newsletter, Five Indicators of Success at Copenhagen: How will we know if we have succeded at Copenhagen this year in turning our one and only human civilization from the brink of extinction - towards a long, clean energy future?

[Second Angel]: Oh.... the one at http://www.deantechnica.com/2009/12/04/five-indicators-of-success-at-copenhagen/ .... What do "you" think about that?

[First Angel]: it seems as if the planet itself is crying out to humanity....

[Second Angel]: That was my assessment; for a while I thought about posing as a scientist and posting a response:

The only reservation "I" have with the Copenhagen conference is that I'm not sure we're attacking the real issues... what if instead of climatological issues no one could reasonably expect developing countries and those with populations on the verge of starvation to care about, the real problem is something a little deeper?

If we consider that what we are talking about are--at one level of analysis--gestalts of aggregated subatomic phenomena, is it no wonder that the conference is being held in Copenhagen?

[First Angel]: I wouldn't worry about it... these things have a way of taking care of themselves.

***

[Narrator]: Meanwhile, under the same storm system at the NSA in Washington D.C., a fromer WPSA member tries to connect the dots as he stares at his computer monitor:

[Drew]: ...dangerous blizzards push east, mystery plane in Afganistan explained, biggest lose finalies, the golf thing, McDonalds, Beck, cutting debt, .... what's this?... color of the year named... I wonder what the Rainbow Club is working on....

[Lt. Commander Dodge]: What are we doing?

[Checkov]: We're working with the CIRCLA the physical world analogue of the Rainbow Club--mapping Drew at the NSA... we don't think he even knows we're here....

[Lt. Commander Dodge]: Good, when is Britt scheduled to return to the TOC?

[Checkov]: Uhora reports from the Enteprise that thir ETA at Tactical Operations Command is sometime this afternoon.

[Lt. Commander Dodge]: Good. Seaman Nitro...

[Nitro]: Sir?

[Lt. Commander Dodge]: Get the Commodore what is Britt scheduled to read today?

[Sonar]: I can tell you that right now Sir... we're on page 56 or the prediction book... we probably won't be reading climatology wntil next week at the earliest.

[Lt. Commander Dodge]: Damn... how long until we get into the stock market?

[Sonar]: Jesus Sir--that won't be until after Christmas!

Comcheck....

2009-10-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

[Butthead]: Just altering everyone's "context."

[Beavis]: *ungh* Carry on....

[Dude]: Hey, when we have more time, someone remember to update the info under the picture there....

May The Force Be With "You"

2009-10-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Back at the mobile office John asks Quark:

[John]: So how are Corpral Phule and the Special Farces?

[Quark]: *shakes head* with this economy, we're riding the Black Horse.

[Narrator]: Seeing nothing urgent on John's desk, Quark asks:

[Quark]: You have anything you need to get out?

[John]: *purses his lips, shaking his head* No.... why?

[Quark]: Magic Team Alpha has a few things to get out that have been comming across as "problems".

[John]: By all means....

[Quark]: First, we've had reports of people crossing their toes--you might have heard this insulates you from restless leg syndrone; while this may or may not be true, as with all symbolic acts, you shouldn't do it unless you have a personilized "physical" world reason to do so--the crossing of fingers for "luck" when applied to a given target will suffice for a physical reason. However, the Commodore advises that such targets be "justifiable" in nature--i.e. something you could expesss to a monkey.

Second: Hand signals. It is strongly advised you do not use these as they impair functionality and we are running on a greater intent, so your puny contribution probably doesn't clarify anything anyway.

Third: When using this stuff like a telephone, be advised that generally this is markedly unfair to the reat of the universe as it works by means of "quantum entanglement" and the initial "big bang", "act or creation", what have you. A broad exception has been granted for "convo" (short for conversation)--if you do use it for this purpose make sure everyone "up-top" is advised you are working on "cornbread" (bread being a symbolic lockown for conversation and cornbread being "bread" but not really) and that you are building internal "comm" (comm being short for communication).

Forth: All interested parties should be advised that monkey shit, especially earth monkey shit, is not our job--for purposes of the Truce, this includes The Midsummer Night Dream Crew, The Devil Club, The Ethereal Arm of The Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Liberation Army, and any other organization associated with Magic Team Alpha, Bulldog Arms Merchants, Fight Club, the Ferengi Omniversal Redundancy Exchange, or any of the aforementioned organizations' subsidiaries or affiliates.

This includes: your famlies, your friends, and "random" strangers who become targets. You are authorised however to magically protect "your" tevision set and/or other physical objects as you desire but you should be advised that the dominant strategy, that of "freeflow" may, in conjunction with such protection limit your access to the phonemona known as "magic"-- we have deals with vairious novelty companies and much of our success is apparantly due to a brinksmanship strategy whereby people help us get "magic" just so they can later kill us off and return the status quo to a state of "normalcy".

As with all othe things in Fight Club you decide your own level of involvement.

[John]: Anything else?

[Quark]: *smiles* Always.... but people can "figure it out."

[John]: We now take you live to our moment reporter Chuck... currently embedded with Magic Team Alpha:

[Chuck]: We're here with Magic Team Alpha as they discuss plans to carry out a scientific experiment.

This experiment is the first step* in narrowing the tremendous gulf between Einstein's description of how the world works with the way Quantum Mechanics says it works.

[*: *censor*]: Steve isn't cleared for everything....

*waves hands* None of this could be possible without a Newtonian interface--as that the the view of "reality" the monkeys hold and Magic Team Alpha's success seems to be based on---

[*Censor*]: That will be enough Steve....

[Chuck]: ....this works to bring the uncertainty inherent in the electron shells to a magroscopic level, much in the same way that the lifespane of one individual "can't" be predicted but the lifespans of an aggregate of individuals can be.

The theory being that you, me, the air, walls around us, even the stones under our feet! are simply "gestalts" of "atoms" and combinations of atoms and that all phenomena, even the light and gravity of the stars--as filtered in the gravity wells of planets--affect "our" inclinations and predispositions.

[info Sprite]: If you would like to know more ....

[Chuck]: Let's listen in....

[Darth Vader]: Before we begin, "I" just want to go on record as saying this isn't going to work.

[Luke]: Darth's right, if we use a bunch of little boats, the wind's just going to blow them to the bank....

[Han]: Ok, what are we working on again?

[Obi Wan]: The three body problem. The book "we" read said that instead of using astronomically massive bodies, we could experience the same phenoma with boats docked at a pier.

[Trip]: OK, so all we need to do is put flotation devices in the pond where they can get buffeted by wind, rain, maybe fish swiming by, that kind of thing... well why don't we use soda bottles with magnets in 'em attached to some kind of trot line set up so they can move freely but not too far.

[Ben]: Good idea.... with the soda bottles, we'll be better able to keep track of which magnet is which. Let's combine this "trot line" idea with the suggestion that we imprint magnets in candle bottles using multi-colored candles from Aspen Bay.

[Jesus]: Right, "I" was thinking of a rainbow assortment... so all we'll need to do is figure out what liquors/wines go with which soft drinks, have a party, and string the bottles up after we burn the candles.

[Han]: *purses his lips as he bites his cheek*

[Luke]: What's wrong Han?

[Han]: Setting is up is the problem... something like this is going to raise questions; we'll have to wait until we get back to Starkville--everybody down there thinks we're crazy already.

[Darth Vader]: Good point, besides, we need to get out of this dry county to get the alcohol and get to Aspen Bay in Starkvile.... how are the mag-nets up here coming?

[Trip]: We've got one set up at the sale barn in Houston and we just finished one this morning on the square in Ripley.

[Darth Vader]: How many magnets do we have left?

[Trip]: One package... with five magnets in it.

[Captain Archer]: Think that will be enough?

[Darth Vader]: No doubt... but we might get bored and "need" something to do.

[T'Pol]: Some of the females were discussing getting a coat at the mall in Tupelo....

[Darth Vader]: Good. We will use the trip as an opportunity to get more magnets from Radioshack.

It's stone soup.... simple as that.UPDATE

2009-09-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

[Face]: Ok, "I" kind of see how it works, but what do we need a secure boot point for?

[Luke]: Cause this consciousness shit is held together with spit and bailing wire.

[Bo]: You ain't kiddin'--we're doing practical quantum mechanics here, not organic chemistry.

[Mary]: The main reason is because your monkey perception--what you experience when "you" feel like it is your body and you even have access to most of the memories--is only a tiny sliver of the gestalt.

[Luke]: Kind of like a facet of a diamond.

[Bo]: Now what you've got to remember is that every facet of that diamond has a similar experience.

[Mary]: From your facet, in monkey experience you are seeing the pro-survival role.... the database of behaviours that further your place in the lives of the other monkeys that make up your immediate and extended "reality".

[Luke]: Don't get us wrong, it can be a lot of fun....

[Bo]: But when push comes to shove, "you" are just a cog in the lives of others and have no socially accepted individual reason for existence save the altruistic ones of the betterment of pathetic little monkey lives in your extended social environment and that of keeping monkeys in your immediate circle content and comfortable.

[Mary]: Now, another "sliver"/facet of your personality gestalt is in the Brahman Club. From this window of existence, you realize that you are one with everything, both the experience and the experiencer... the all mind "[a] universal Consciousness [that is] unlimited, pure, and perfect within itself--eternal, omniscient, omni present, omni potent, and perfectly contented." Spirituality for Dummies p 244.

[Bo]: Meanwhile, the rest of the facets of your diamond are like channels on a television set in their "moods".

[Luke]: And these facets are always communicating with each other, comparing notes, and playing games, so that when you, as the monkey, do stuff to advance your interests at the expense of theirs, they gang up on you--in the body and in consultation with their analogues in other monkeys and "inanimate" matter--to mess up your plans.

[Face]: How do they do that?!!!

[Bo]: Well let's extend the television metaphor... in fact, let's say you are watching tv and you see a commercial for a casino.

[Luke]: That reminds you of the movie Casino Royale that you were watching on USA yesterday during lunch.

But you aren't the only person watching the commercial, someone "else" was unimpressed by the movie and thinks instead of the last time they went to the casino, or maybe a future trip they've planned.

[Bo]: Still someone else sees the commercial, identifies the couch in the body's perifrial vision, then indicates the door, communicating that they bet someone is about to walk through the door and sit on the couch.

[Luke]: Now what the television is on is the ambient and your "mood" -- what channel your facet is on -- determines your perception and integration of that ambient into the gestalt of your conscious/unconscious mind.

[Mary]: For instance, if your television is on the wrestling channel, then what you notice when the casino commercial comes on is different.

[Luke]: In the first example, "you" were betting with someone else/another facet of "yourself"--perhaps even another gestalt, that someone would take a seat.

[Bo]: Now that your mood is tuned to wrestling and being buffeted by both the ambient and what the other facets are doing--particularly the one thinking about the "future"--that facet bets that the person sitting on the couch will get into an argument with someone else in the room.

[Face]: *grinning confidently* But they aren't sitting on the couch yet.

[Mary]: They are from at least one perspective, remember, you're Brahman... the process of creation is eternal....

[Luke]: Time does not...

[Bo]: In fact...

[Luke]: exist.

[Bo]: So anyway, yet another facet, one who's mood is tuned to the National Geographic Channel, is watching The Dog Whisperer and is instead betting that they can get the person who sits/is sitting on the couch to do a "trick"--maybe swallowing or crossing one leg over another when they sit.

[Luke]: Here is where you can see the "facets" of "your" gestalt working together: in our example, Person (1) was reminded of the spy movie Casino Royale... Person (2) provided some temporal flexibility... Person (3) made a bet about where someone who might/did walk through the door would sit... Person (4) made a bet the person who sat would get into an argument... and Person (5) bet that they could get the monkey to do a trick.

[Mary]: So what happens is that everyone wins their bets. Some monkey walks through the door, sits on the couch, and crosses her legs so that the sole of her foot is facing your monkey--blocking some attempted empathic communication.

[Face]: Ok... so how does reading page spreads in the morning and before going to sleep help?

[Bo]: Well it provides a common take-off for the day and seems to identify "your" position in the topography of existence so that people know who you are no matter what facet you are using to experience this three-dimensional metaphor the monkeys call consensual reality.

***

[Yuri]: You remember to bring the list of CDs and DVDs?

[John]: Got it right here, along with what they relate to in Britt's little "system".

[Narrator]: Yuri chuckles and says:

[Yuri]: He's a nut, I'll give you that. Let's see it.

CD's:
Celtic Thunder.....Magic Circulatory System project/client file
Meatloaf Bat out of Hell III: THE MONSTER IS LOOSE....."Meatloaf People" client file
Metallica: MASTER OF PUPPETS.....project file

17 Again.....age regression & maintenance
200 Classic Cartoons .....Toon interface
Harlequin: Another Woman.....church net (a sermon touched on it)
The Blues Brothers ......the mission from "God"
The Breakfast Club ....."facet/sliver" interface
The Crocodile Hunter ....."Animal Planet" interface, cemetary/dead guy net
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon ........something another "god" mentioned in law school
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button .....age regression and maintenance
The DaVinci Code ....."Jesus's" crap, cemetary/dead guy/Mason net
Eagle Eye .....Place memory/talking houses
Farrah Fawcett: Dalva & Murder on Flight 502.....cemetary/dead guy net
The Fifth Element .....everyone likes it
Fight Club .....ridin' the red horse
Good Morning Vietnam.....game: project file/"E"SL
High School Musical......Place memory/talking houses/school net
Joe Dirt .....the moon thing/quantum gravitational effect on bodies and "inanimate" matter
Jumper .....transportation project file
Labyrinth .....Magic Circulatory System--saw it with WPSA once... hey, it's what we've got... this is sorcery, not brain surgery....
Liar Liar .....You can't believe everything you hear "up here"
The Matrix Collection .....interface
Obsessed .....what he/she/it is, plus it's on pay-per-view currently
Predator .....S.T.R.I.F.E. interface
Push .....Weapons Grade Ethereal Technology (WeGET) project file
Riddick Trilogy .....stealth: where'd you grow up? ....I'm suprised "you've" lived this long
The Skulls Trilogy .....secret society interface
Spiderman 3 ....."host" interface
Stargate SG-1 Children of the Gods .....host interface
Star Wars IV: A New Hope .....when'd we first see that anyway? ...we don't talk about it....
The Truman Show .....la de la da da interface
X-Men: The Last Stand .....baiting.

[Yuri]: Baiting?

[John]: Yeah, "they" think lots of "people" don't want them to succeed in bringing magic back so the idea is that "they" help us get magic and then it will be easier to make Britt's life miserable and maybe even take him/her/it out.

[Yuri]: Oh.... anything else before we post?

[John]: Just that people should read the indexes of their non-fiction books and their bar codes, watch the credits of the movies, and should NOT spend money on this shit unless they have an expense account.

[Yuri]: May the Force be with you--

[John]: And Jerry wanted me to remind everyone that "coffee is our friend."

Jesus Christ! How long has it been since we checked the email?

2009-08-31T07:41:00.000-07:00

[Dude]: *rubs eye* OK, what's up?

[sub Conglomerate Designated Staple #3 (sCDS#3)]: You've gotta get up!

[sCDS#2]: Yeah, you've gotta start the waking dream's context off on that dream you just had.

[sCDS#1]: It'll help us connect the waking dream and the sleeping dream so we can modify anything we want with our intent

[Vinny]: So what are we doing today?

[Mary]: After we finish "booting up", we're going to eat breakfast and go to the library to post a blog entry and check our email.

[Face]: The library doesn't open until 9:00, I want to walk up to the square and look around some.

[Eugene]: Good idea, I heard court's in session--see if you can get us inside the courthouse.

[Bateman]: Looking down, Mary, Face, Eugene and their peeps--

[Narrator (using the Rayford voice)]: That's my job... you have a job--where was I?

[Narrator]: Looking down, Mary, Face, Eugene and their staffs see Britt turning a page of Reading Lolita in Tehran

[Face]: Where do we read to?

[Mary]: Just this half of the page spread.

[Face]: How does this work again?

[Mary]: You read a full page spread, turn the page and read half of the next and then after your sleep or wake cycle--whichever one you are on, you read the page you stopped on again, the next one, turn the page and read half the next page spread.

[Face]: And what does it do?

[Mary]: It provides a secure boot from the sleeping dream to the waking dream and from waking to sleeping.

[Narrator]: Outside the periphery of Britt's monkey awareness, John laments:

[John]: Damn.

[Eugene]: What?

[John]: I meant to compile a list of the movies we've recently bought and watched so people could sync with us.

[Eugene]: I wouldn't worry about it, it's a big universe, not many People care about Earth anyway.

[John]: Still, just in case the NSA--or anybody else for that matter-- is getting our money ready, it might be a good idea.

Workin' for a livin'

2009-07-20T04:06:00.000-07:00

[Keehley]: So what are we doing?

[Dude]: We appear to be ahead of ourselves--at least it did yesterday.... well that's what "I" remember from the dream; shit, I just popped out of nothingness.

[Terry]: So we're playing spy again?

[Jed]: Guess so....

[Jethro]: It's the best interface for intelligence gathering we've got.

[Maya]: Ok... well let's go, "I" don't want to miss any of Charmed and Quark wants to see Farmweek....

Damn... I wish we could change the name too....

2009-06-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Some of our viewers will be happy to note that we've changed the information in the sidebar. Our story today begins at historic Lee Hall.

[Quinn]: Woahh.... what's that? *gesturing to the metal vial in Britt's hand*

[Rembrandt]: This? ....

[Narrator]: Rembrandt asks as as he drops a few fingernail clippings from the vial into a grate.

[Rembrandt]: This is an old mental institution trick....

[Allah]: How many more of these do we have to do? It's fucking HOT out here!

[Narrator]: Looking in the vial Rembrant answers:

[Rembrandt]: It's going to be a while.

[Allah]: Crap. Well ok, let's go get some water or something.

[God]: Hey, I thought it was policy not to work on Sunday.

[Ahura-Mazda]: It is, but as long as Britt and everyone are doing this force line/magnetism "experiment" with the buildings on campus featured in the Reflector article, everyone figured it would be a good idea to get a special set of force lines up for neutral Sunday.

["The Devil"]: And we "just happened" To read chapter 15 in the Spiritualism for Dummies book on Father's Day?

[Allah]: No.... we planned that.... *speaking to "His" staff* make a note to pick up that chapter we skipped.

["The Devil"]: Who thought up the fingernails?

[God]: *shrugs* We save up Britt's fingernail clippings and the vial was getting full....

["The Devil"]: Oh. Well what's next?

[Allah]: Finish doing this I guess.

[Set]: How does it work again?

[Allah]: Depends on who you ask, the scientists speak of uncertainty, the psychotherapists talk about the collective unconscious, and the shamans say the rain water follows the path of Britt's fingernails into the grates, directing the path of conversation

Wash Day

2009-06-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

[Jakie]: You guys get the laundry done?

[John]: Yep.

[Mary]: We need some new T-shirts--

[Margot]: Yeah, we washed them in Cheer, put fabric softener in, and they still smell!

[Margot's faction, common voice #1]: You shouldn't put that on here, our stalker will probably bring some by.

[Margot's faction, common voice #2]: There's nothing for it now, People have already relied on it being here.

[SCDS#5]: Yeah, we've got a whole new conglomerate already.

[some Polar Bear]: And it's not like you guys are powerful enough to have an eraser yet. People are still scoping you out.

[Margot's faction, common voice #3]: Elaine, send a note to the stalker, tell her we don't need any shirts--send it schitzo mail if you have to.

[Darren]: If we can hold off until we get the money saved up to go to the casino, I'll make sure the monkey buys all new T-shirts.

[Eugene]: Hey wasn't there something we were supposed to mention on here?

[John]: *shakes head* Something about the "shitlist" and how they get the same benefits as all the other beta-testers but they are tagged for bleed off when things got too hot.

[Eugene]: Oh, standard boomerang rule shit....

What the hell are you DOING?!!!

2009-06-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

[John]: Stringing up force lines... why?

[MI6]: What are you chaps relying on over there? The alarm's about to go off so make it quick.

[Eugene]: Well, in addition to usual dream sorcery--you can synch with ours by reading The Stand by Steven King--we're using the legal system to smooth stuff out.

[Bobby]: *smiles* Why--how's it coming across?

[NSA]: What are we reading?

[Socrates]: Theory of Knowledge... some book on epistemology-- *shrugs* it might be out of print; my peeps didn't see it on bn.com.

We finally got all the email checked--Laws Yes!

2009-05-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: Staring at the screen as he pecks at the keyboard, Dude asks:

[Dude]: Hey! Don't we have a Twitter account?

[Beavis]: Uh yeah. We signed up for it a few weeks ago.

[Dude]: What's the username? I need to check it.

[Beavis]: Shit, you've got me--hey Butthead, what's the Twitter account?

[Butthead]: 00WeGET.

[Dude]: Huh?

[Butthead]: You know, double Oh--like in James Bond--then WeGET as in Weapons Grade Ethereal Technology. But there's nothing on there except the initial suggested groups.

[Dude]: Doesn't matter. The account e-mailed us we had some followers. As per Standard Operating Procedure for the Snakedance Algorithm, I need to recreprociate.

[Butthead]: Right. What else do we have to do on-line?

[Dude]: That's it. As soon as we get this done, we can ride back to Tactical Operations Command and smoke Borkum Riff tobacco, just like they do in that Steven King novel we just finished... The Stand.

Hey. Anybody heard from the spooks lately?

[Beavis]: Every now and then, why?

[Dude]: I don't know where it came from... but I was just thinking they might like to know what we're currently reading.

[Beavis]: Oh, Firestarter also by Steven King... "Don't tell me, I'll tell you"

[Butthead]: Cool. Let's get this Twitter Thing knocked out.

[Dude]: What was it "you" said to title the post?[GOD]: Something about "I've been briefed"....

2009-04-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

[GOD (2)]: Just something we can latch onto "over there" to let ourselves know we are the ones involved in the entry.

[GOD (3)]: Yeah, the idea was to let people know that the "voices" they are hearing are--for the most part--anthropormiphizations that are not, in fact, paying attention to the individual's particular situation.

[Dude]: *nods* Right... and you think this will help com... having more than one UNIVERSAL Tactical Operations Command?

[Gaki]: *shrugs* It'll help us play NASCAR better.

[Ty]: I don't see how. Britt et. al. is already backing everyone else up.

[G.o.D.]: Ok, Hold up with all this NASCAR infighting and Games Nations Play shit.

[GoD]: And while we're on the subject stop with the GOD 1 2 3 crap.

[GoD]: What are they trying to lockdown with that anyway?

[G.o.D.]: *figuratevly shakes "head"* Nothing really, we're using native religions to develop a common voice and [The Host]--the guy whose name is on the documents--was raized as a Baptist. As far as It's concerned for Operation Read The Bible Again, we're either factions of the Holy Ghost or we divide ourselves up to keep from being bored.

[GoD]: Oh....

[Dude]: Ok, so what are we putting out?

[GoD]: Basically we just want to let everyone know that we are aware of the com problems and that we are working to make their STONEAGE RADIO experience as pleasant as possible.

[Allah]: *turns to face the camera* --sighs-- But without your support working on come consists of reading THE ELEGANT UNIVERSE, The Holy Bible and other books over and over and over again while intermitently playing solitaire.

[Al]: *shrugs* with only English materials and just 52 cards in the deck, the T.O.C. is forced to catch whot it can using D.O.S. mode and let the chips fall where they may.

[Eugene]: If we only had the funds (or magic) to construct a radio station/studio were we could bask in the sun beside the pool in the day--

[John]: and snort cocaine off [stripper's]: asses at night--

[Kit]: Back on topic...

[the Commodore]: We are on topic. The simple fact of the matter is that non-language or "unscripted" language input allows for greater uncertainty and therefore the expression of more current gestalt voices in the making of the final product.

[Dude]: Athough using Montage™ technology, we do pretty well, without magic or money we just can't get Britt et. al. the monkey intensites they "need" to facilatate the vaired expression of the cosmos through Tactical Operations Command.

[Daniel]: --

[SCDS#4]: [Daniel god of atheism]: not that jackass that threw britt out of [WPSA--

[Daniel]: So what you're saying is that satisfaction of Britt et. al.'s fleshly desires will result in the expession of a greater variety of points of view... but wouldn't that delay the fulfillment of overall com goals?

[Daniel (the other one)]: What are they talking about?

[Kit]: *distainfully* Science shit... you me, and everyone who's anyone knows that it's all about trees and shit. But the deterministic scientific perspective says that biological organisms are meerely masses of atoms which work for a common purpose, i.e., survival.

The idea is that by using different filters, one can--

[Darren]: Oh come on! You can't just keep Britt et. al *points to the East* in a barrel and run com off him.

[Daniel god of atheism]: Why not? He's the gopher right?

[Hank]: Yeah, after what the monkeys did to us [last time, I say we keep it on the down low.

[Darren]: That's exactly my point with Britt et. al. being a war god and their people always concerned with the monkey threat, we need to take britt out of the barrel before they end up making the situation worse!

[Dude]: *nods* Good point.... talbe it... *looks at watch* we've got to get to that Indian thing at the Collesuium then get bakt to the T.O.C. so we can pick up with our bible reading again *looks over his shoulder* where are we again?

[Al]: Somewhere in Exedous.

Starbuck: Ok... Vipers out, Ravens in... got it--

2009-03-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

[The Commodore]: So how's it going?

[Dude]: Pretty good. They don't tell us much but apparently we're in town to fix some comm bugs.

[The Commodore]: How?

[Dick]: As far as equipment, we're using a primitive cathode ray device--commonly known as a television--as if it were a candle. But for the most part were making do with the Force Line™ technology pioneered by Bulldog Arms Merchants (BAM!™).

[The Commodore]: What about security?

[Darren]: We're using Coors Light™ for security.

[The Commodore]: Beer?

[Dick]: Au contraire Coors Light isn't just beer--

[Sally]: With a refreshing taste straight from the Rockies and Vertical Integration™ technology i.e., owning all aspects of production and distribution, you can't find a better--or more secure beverage on Earth.

[Dick]: *smiles* Plus, with it's lack of pasteurization, you're assured no one's putting their SAUCE on your work.

[Dude]: *holds up a bottle* And their unique* color-change label, makes it impossible to confuse with inferior beers--

[Beavis]: In addition to letting you know it's at the perfect temperature.

[The Commodore]: *examines clipboard* What's this about flesh-eating shadows?

[Butthead]: Somethin' we saw on Dr. Who last night...

[Beavis]: You know how responsive to suggestion everybody is--plus we think it will help bulk 'em up so we can quantum foam the TOC instead of cleaning up by hand.

[The Commodore]: Oh. *nods* Carry on.

[Darren]: So what's next?

[Dude]: *shrugs* The mice ordered a hit on the rat that moved in last week but no one wants to go all the way out to Walmart to get CO2 cartridges.

[Sally]: I guess the best thing to do is look through the phone book and see if we can get them anywhere else.

[Dude]: All right then... let's head back to the room and have another beer.

[The Good Witch]: Maybe we can get everyone to stay put long enough for us to watch Charmed again.

[Dryad Force Alpha]: Are we really going to kill Rat?

[The Good Witch]: *shrugs* I suppose, the mice were there first... besides, we're working for a war god who's a bodyguard/mercenary.

*All statements of product endorsement intended to refer only to products sold on the planet known as "Earth" i.e., Terra, System of Sol, Milky Way Galaxy, Universe J....

Re: Magic Team Alpha and associated Entities

2009-03-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

[Commodore]: Attention all hands... the magic number is 18; I repeat: the magic number is 18....

Captain Kirk... personal log... stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"(Magic Team Alpha, Operation Drawing Down the Moon--repost)

2009-02-19T22:43:00.000-08:00

[Kirk]: I know we're not crazy...

[Kirk]: At least, if we are crazy, we're a precognitive genius.

[Kirk]: The "voices" in our "head" inform us of things readily available, yet not in our conscious perception... often, these "voices" are right about the occurrence of future events of which we have no 'available' knowledge.

[Kirk]: I have spoken with Mr. Spock, Bones, Checkov, Sulu, Uhura, and Scotty about the phenomena we have been experiencing, and though straight answers have been scarce, they are in agreement on certain salient points....

[Kirk et. al]: If we are crazy, I suspect that we are all crazy together... there... is... no... need....

[Kirk]: to talk about it.

***

Mr. Spock Personal Log, Stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

[Mr. Spock]: Though we don't talk about it face to face, the collective consensus seems to be that the "voices"... feelings really--as feelings that rise to an "audible" level are different from "voices" that are broadcast from a point on the "surface" of a feeling network itself--are actually the interplay of quantum mechanical forces.... The situation is similar to scenes only making sense in a greater context; the mind assimilates the raw data of height, width, depth, sound, etc., combines these with one’s personal knowledge, and “produces” a comprehensible gestalt.

[Mr. Spock]: This quantum mechanical interplay, where even cause and effect are blurred, appears to encompass the whole of everything, "thingness" and "nothingness"; sameness and difference.

[Mr. Spock]: The only way through this Newtonian insanity seems to be for one to live in such a reality fully.... assuming that everything that happens is because they did or noticed something.

[Mr. Spock]: On its face, the theory is simple: if all producers of sense datum are themselves products of the associations of atoms, i.e. molecules, then all "separate" things are akin to symphonies within a genre.

[Mr. Spock]: As these "symphonies of expression" result from a common event: creation, the big bang, an ordering of "the void", it is possible to synchronize the atoms of one's body with the atoms in one's aura. Doing so not only orders the mind, but gives one fantastic abilities--see log entry Stardate 1672.8 re: place memory.

***

Dr. McCoy Phoenix Project Log, Stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

[Dr. McCoy]: We have modeled the magic circulatory system on the familiar hominoid physiology, with this universe as its heart.

[Dr. McCoy]: Though currently we have not found any easily replicable "magic," we have experienced a variety of events which dictate that such must exist:

[Dr. McCoy]: Through, primarily, an astounding number of "coincidences," we have also on occasion observed--or rather, known of--playing cards changing and metal items behaving in strange ways.

[Dr. McCoy]: most notable of these metallic events is a pipe one of our colleagues owns whose flat base was moved to its end... although later the malevolent "entities" which affected/effected the change later fixed the pipe destroying, as it were, our “proof.”

[Dr. McCoy]: The technology of the circulatory system is simple enough: Tactical Operations Command (the TOC) is set up with steel staples that have fishing line running through them--a "hard com" net thought of by the subs. In the four corners of the TOC, a/k/a "The Shack", a/k/a Ahhh(x)h-li, are bar magnets. Inside this perimeter are other magnets, most notably those on the periodic table taped to a steel desk, and the magnets in the speaker of a battery powered radio.

[Dr. McCoy]: The magnets are associated with gravity as both forces, at their fundamental level are unexplainable by early 21st century science and through acts of sorcery. We believe these two forces to be uni/omni dimensional, acting throughout all universes in a giant network.

[Dr. McCoy]: Because the "hard com" net and magnets were installed by "ethereal" suggestion, and because we mark the periodic table with a new magnet each time an element comes up in our personal context, the resulting effect of this "radio dish" is to synch the gestalt feelings (resulting in the "voices") we have been experiencing with our normal "physical" reality, thereby increasing the frequency of co-incidental events, resulting in a oneness of mind and matter so that the "laws" of physics will soon be under our control.

[Dr. McCoy]: "once"--cause and effect are blurred in this 'quantum reality'-- the "radio dish" has collected its data, the data is filtered through campus.

[Dr. McCoy]: Our chief researcher, Corporal Britt Ali... or rather, "his" gestalt of personas, has a deal with The Runes for the propagation of "shadow layer" technology.

[Dr. McCoy]: My--our--understanding is that The Runes are gestalt intelligences of "past" and "future" universes--depending, of course, on one's personal timetrack(s); they exist in this universe as one of many factions in the nothingness layers of atoms. Because The Runes possess rocks as bodies, they have sympathy with the rocks in concrete foundations and use them as "sentry stones"--otherwise known as runes.

[Dr. McCoy et. al]]: ...using campus as a receiving station allows us to coordinate the conversations of the mental, etheric, astral, and causal, life forms that comprise the completion of the gestalt known as the material realm.

***

Professor Snape Project Phoenix project log, Stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

[Professor Snape]: ...Gameday.... or it was when we started this entry--

[Professor Snape]: I couldn't have picked a better "time" to begin my tenure aboard the IGS Phoenix; with a "takeoff" of the IGS Turman full of students and alumni, it won't take "long" to awaken it and it's sister ship, the Polk.

["Professor Snape"]: First however, we will direct our attention towards the Pegasus, the McCool, the McComas, the Mitchell, and--most importantly Ahhh(x)h-li.

[Professor Snape]: As Corporal Ali reads Games Nations Play at the TOC, The Runes and I will "re-wire" campus so that all data is routed through the IGS Woodpecker.

[Professor Snape]: Perhaps the biggest "issue" is the cloaking of Britt et. al's intent signature. Doing so often involves remembering seemingly trivial data one takes for granted. For instance--

["Professor Snape"]: though it doesn't "mesh" well with our post, we're supposed to mention that there is a danger that Project Phoenix (though not as urgent a danger as those ingenous Europeans have birthed) and its use of "Place Memory Technology™", that we might end up with a bunch of Britt et. al. clones running around with different personal knowledge.

[Professor Snape]: For this reason, all students are advised to read the post describing how Britt got the way he/she/it is.

["Professor Snape"]: As That Guy is rather long winded, pay particular attention to the part about The Doctor in the middle of the page.

Attention on Deck!

2009-02-03T15:10:00.000-08:00

[Adam]: What's up?

[John]: We appear to be on top.

[Butthead]: Woahh!

[Beavis]: *disgruntled* I heard "they" gave it to us.

[Butthead]: Whatever. The important thing is *slaps palm with fist* that we consolidate our holdings.

[Jimmy]: What's the plan?

[John]: After we get into the Money & Investing section of The Journal we're going to go cancel the automatic transfer to savings that's supposed to happen on the sixth, then finish The Journal and read the school lunch menus in the Starkville paper.

[Butthead]: What's the deal with that again?

[John]: When we were at Steve Ford's lecture last night, the Delta Gammas drew our attention to some high school students that were there and since everyone had been nagging Britt to read the school lunch menus again, we decided to do it.

[Beavis]: Yeah, later, during the lecture we found out that "they" had been gaining sympathy with us, so when we started "talking" with "them," Britt realized through various signs that we had the option for some kind of truce--

[Jimmy]: *holds out hands* a detente really....

[Beavis]: Right... I mean, we weren't about to jump in the sac with 'em or anything--anyway, since all we were doing there was gaining more sympathy with the Secret Service & working on place memory with The White House, Hollywood (through Britt's Hollywood book), and The Hump, we decided to be cooperative until we fished the menus.

[Butthead]: Oh yeah... then we're going to re-initiate the automatic transfer next month after we've seen The International.... so when are we gonna see some money from this crap?

[Beavis]: Well, if we aren't able to get the Secret Service, DARPA, the CIA, NSA, Mossad or anybody else interested, Quark said we'd just set up an E*trade account and buy stocks as we can afford them.

[John]: Sounds like a plan.

Playing with the Queen of Hearts

2009-01-26T19:09:00.000-08:00

[Eugene]: Where have you been?

[Elaine]: Since when?

[Eugene]: Since no one's been able to reach you.... since Saturday I guess.

[Abby]: They haven't?

[Ahhh(x)h-li]: it's probably just personal knowledge interference between North/Central Mississippi and the foothills where earthly father lives.

[The Kernel]: I don't think those qualify as foothills.

[Ahhh(x)h-li]: Whatever... they're some big ass piles of dirt.

[Adam]: Yeah, apparently personal connection works the same way water drainage does... because Earthly Father's place is nearer the big piles of dirt, they hang on to more of their stuff.

[Beavis]: Starkville, being pretty much flat, is more free flow--

[Butthead]: And some of that hillbilly crap won't fly down here--

[Beavis]: Technically, I don't think they're hillbillies.

[Jimmy]: It should be fixed by now; since wake-up, we've been watching the same stuff on tv that we did with earthly father... Bonanza and FOX News.

[Eugene]: So where are you staying?

[Butthead]: Undisclosed location--

[Beavis]: We're not at liberty to disclose such information other than to assure our local viewers receptive enough to this empathy/telepathy stuff that we have a television, a telephone and that we might be in town a couple of more days.

[Eugene]: *raises hands* Right, classified/compartmentalized, i.e., he knows it's classified, she knows it's compartmentalized but neither one knows it's both classified and compartmentalized.

[Butthead]: *stoically* We're not at liberty to say.

[Eugene]: I just thought you guys would be tired of FOX and television in general up-top by now.... you know, time to get back to NPR and reading.

[Butthead]: Yeah... well... as much as we enjoy hanging out with you guys and being read to, when you gotta work, you gotta work.

[Beavis]: And since we can't afford to celebrate Chinese New Year doing cocaine off a stripper's ass, everybody decided to get a room.

[Eugene]: *sighs* I hear ya, so have you heard anything about Einstein's gaming research?

[Butthead]: Nah, not really.

[Eugene]: So how are we working on getting money?

[Beavis]: Mainly fucking with Obama and hoping the Secret Service will bust us and get DARPA to fund Britt's research so he can work on fixing the problem.

[Butthead]: speaking of which, it was suggested that we throw them a bone… have you heard anything about there being a connection between Hannity using “Playing with the Queen of Hearts" as bumper music and The Queen of Diamonds being the trigger for the Manchurian Candidate... *shrugs* red queen; red queen... thought there might be something there.

General Zod!!! Whassup?

2008-12-05T14:55:00.000-08:00

[U.N.C.L.E.]: Now that that's done, whatcha been up to?

[sCDS#2]: Reading mainly.

[Leo]: So what are you guys getting?

[Mary]: Not a lot, we've been helping students study for exams and doing ethereal UN shit.

[sCDS#4]: We've noticed you guys around, but most of us haven't been aware, in-the-body that we were involved in conversations with you.

[That Guy et. al.]: We're still having trouble getting stuff "up-top" but does the--

[Allah]: Skip all that... see if you can get any data on the astronauts.

[sCDS#5]: We were wondering if the astronauts who came down Sunday had been debriefed.

[Margaret]: What'd you guys doooo?

[sCDS#8]: Target of opportunity....

[sCDS#10]: During that spacewalk last week, week before, somn' like that, they lost a tool bag while we were riding to campus, so last week-- *looks around, as heads nod*

[sCDS#30]: We started working with them.

[sCDS#23]: All indications over here are that they were reading us and behaving in zero-G in ways counter to training... moving limbs inappropriately, snort laughing, the usual.

[S.H.I.E.L.D.]: We'll look into it; what's this General Zod shit?

[The Electron Cloud Chick]: Nothing to worry about--

[K]: We're just in the midst of some discussions with some people who are apparently trying to get/make us think that we're someone else....

[J]: It goes along with an earlier motif in Britt et. al's personal mythology that this is a prison universe and The Electron Cloud Chick is the prosecutor who put him away.... Listen... uh, I know we've got plenty of *makes finger quotes* time and all, but we've really got shit loads of email to check.... so eatcha later--know what I mean?

Yeah guys, sorry... now that you mention it, we do remember on Old Mayhew when you brought that up. OK, we're dreaming in the servers at State so people can't "move us around" to stuff they can easily manipulate:: we'll use the data of this text as a tracker.

Comcheck.... Houston, we have a 'go' for launch…. motions thumb around I mean--We-- repeat .... "We have a 'go' for launch"....

2008-11-06T12:57:00.000-08:00

[Captain John Sheridan]: Proceed at maximum burn.

***

[Bateman]: Perhaps the shortest blogpost of their career, that entry sent Britt et. al. upon a path unfathomable to those who are without understanding.

[Damnit]: Where are they now? You ask....

[sCDS#4]: Somewhere in the far reaches of The Universe....

[sCDS#6]: A "cloud" of ethereal mist hanging out somewhere between the 3rd and 8th energy levels of the calcium atom....

[sCDS#9]: Or perhaps "possessing" you right now--

[sCDS#35]: ...er, at this very moment in the eternal NOW....

[Al]: Fact of the matter is--

[Wes]: You don't know do ya?

I feel a Pann-Farr comming on.... (...is that like some kind of Vulcan holiday?)

2008-11-01T16:51:00.000-07:00

[Kirk]: This is call sign Tendrill to the bridge.

[Lt. Cmdr. Tom Dodge]: This is the bridge, have you been through the Stargate?

[Kirk]: I thought you wanted my report?

[Commander Adama]: We just lost you... we've been monitoring.

[Kirk]: Oh. Yes... I suppose you know already that the Sliders have reported the similarity of the realm?

[T'Pol]: Yes... the reports have been quite facinating.

How is "Immortal Combat...the battle for the body"?

[Kirk]: We... don't really get involved in that, Britt et. al. seems to be acting within the parameters of the role.

[NSA]: How's the pizza?

[Kirk]: There's been a snag, Jethero says we have to go see Mr. Dryesdale Monday.

[MI6]: ...oh... cherio then! *turns to French Intelligence* I told you this stuff was undependable.

[Kirk]: Look, this place is closing, we've got to go.

[T'Pol]: Noted.

[Kirk]: Kirk out.

Comcheck....

2008-10-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

[That Guy et. al.]: Do what?

[Kevin et al.]: Oh... before we accomplish our intent with that email thing.

[That Guy et. al.]: Oh... whatever

[That Guy et. al]: Yeah, we're working on the roof.

[sCDS#3]: *cupping ear* it sounds like someone--a World Strategy Game™ player--is asking a question....

[sCDS#39]: oh... "what's going on"

[That Guy et. al.]: I told these guys, pay me then I'll be your beck and call sorcerer....

[sCDS#7]: From what we understand up-top, we did a high dive into the com system the humans have been using from some quiet place where everyone communicates in nothingness or somn'-- it might be a while before we get convo levels back to normal...

[sCDS#6]: In the meantime, our experience has been that the "coincidence" stuff has been working great... how's it on your end?

Well that's that....

2008-10-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

[Mary]: Ok, so what's going on?

[Sibil]: Apparently, a bunch of us are using me as a place-memory interface with Ahhh(x)h-li.

[Margo]: So we're the only ones who can type?

[Mary]: The others think it's safest that way, but we need to make sure Sta ple Net is included.

[the sub Conglomerate Designated Staple #1 (sCDS#1)]: We're good.

[the sub Conglomerate Designated Staple #3 (sCDS#3)]: It'll take a while to get things ironed out, but when we do, we'll have stable personal, campus, regional, local, and universal conglomerates.

[the sub Conglomerate Designated Staple #5 (sCDS#5)]: Plus, multiversal, omniversal, infiniversal, and Great Whatever capabilities when necessary.

[the sub Conglomerate Designated Staple #9 (sCDS#9)]: --or are we 10?... Anyway, we'll have stable interfaces with the templates we're using for the Magic Circulatory System Museum thingy.

[the sub Conglomerate Designated Staple #38 (sCDS#38)]: "most" importantly, we'll be commercially viable in-so-far as the World Strategy Game™ is concerned.

[Mary]: Why is everyone so touchy?

[sCDS#1]: Some kind of détente, everyone's afraid somebody'll seek an immediate advantage.

[the CIA]: So you guys are still using Place Memory Technology™?

[sCDS#38]: Yeah, it's been working great for a few weeks now.

[MI6]: So what, exactly, are you chaps working out?

[sCDS#38]: Someone said up-top that different places were like different moods for the big guys, so we're working around them not typically talking business in their pajamas.

[the CIA]: oh... so what's with the lowercase 's' in sCDS?

[sCDS#38]: Sub with a capital S is a Sprite captured by a soul for some purpose; a sub is, conceivably, any life form working for a god--

[sCDS#3]: But for reasons of politeness, they don't typically talk about social acquaintances and people they have "deals" with as being subs--

[Zim]: Yeah, it might start a war or somn'.

[sCDS#1]: *turns to Mary* So.... that's about it huh?

[Mary]: Yeah.. I guess so--

[sCDS#1]: Hope you're a Sub next time--

[sCDS#3]: Subs have more fun...

[sCDS#38]: *nods* They really do --.--

Ohhh.... I see....

2008-10-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

[Sibil]: OK, Fall break only lasts 2 days.

[Kevin]: I figured it was somethin' like that... there's too much happening on campus for it to still be break.

[*]: *shrugs* I figured we were on alternating timelines--

[Q]: It was a possibility.

[MI5]: So how are you chaps doing?

[CIA]: How did we come up in the context about an hour ago?

[Đặng Thùy Trâm]: Apparently, we're "pretending" to be the enemy.

[Apollo]: We were in The Union playing solitaire and watching a baseball game on Fox when an advertisement for a movie about the CIA came on....

[The sub conglomerate designated staple #6 (SCDS#6)]: We made a card lock-down.

[That Guy]: Why don't we what?

[The Collector]: You can't be serious... that's unverifiable--

[Pavarotti]: You think we like being in the loony bin?

[MI5]: So what's this about Mexico?

[Zim]: You got us, that's what the guy in the next window is workin’ on.

[Kahn]: Wait a minute... it might be cover. Wasn't there a story about Mexico on All Things Considered yesterday?

[the SCDS#1]: Yeah! and Britt's got a book on Mexican History back at the TOC.

[The GRU]: Where are you?

[McQueen]: Classified.

[Lt. Cmdr. Dodge]: *smiles* workin' on the roof.

[Sarge]: So how's it coming across? We started playing solitaire earlier because we heard there was some trouble...

[S.H.I.E.L.D.]: Ok I guess... You guys really have no idea what we're doing with the technology do you?

[Captain Kirk]: *smiles* None whatsoever.

[Mr. Spock]: And that's the way Yang likes it... classified; compartmentalized.

[MiB]: See ya.

A Woo-Woo.... I'm te-ll-IN!

2008-09-25T06:24:00.000-07:00

[Cartman]: Man, I'm glad parking at The McComas is in the context.

[Kenny]: You ain't shittin', what do we have for the shows so far?

[Arli$$]: Let's see, before the take off, we were reading Hello, He Lied---

[Kenny]: What's our foundation?

[Cartman]: Britt et al., the other GodGame™ players, and the world security agencies are working on the roof.

[Kenny]: The roof? I thought Britt et al. fixed the roof?

[Cartman]: Not that roof, "The Roof" is a metaphorical construct, based on The Mitchell. The 5th floor is where the top-level God Game™ players hangout; the second, third, and fourth floors... where the computer lab, books, reference, and government documents are... is the Green Zone; and the basement--where the journals are--is where the mortals stay.

[Kyle]: Because both the top and bottom are insecure, the metaphor connects-up into one big circle.

[Kenny]: What are the "mechanics" of getting the data from the TOC to The Mitchell?

[Narrator]: Suspicious of the question, Cartman sends an empathic query to Kyle:

[Cartman]: You think he's workin' for somebody?

[Kyle]: Sounds like it; he doesn't need to know that... ignore it.

[Cartman]: That doesn't matter, besides, you aren't cleared for it.

[Kenny]: Oh.*turns to Arli$$* so what else do we have in the buildup?

[Arli$$]: Context.

[Kenny]: Huh?

[Arli$$]: You said "build-up" the TOC approved terms are: context, ramp-up, and load-up (proper syntax being that of a past participle or in the present tense).

[Kenny]: *slaps head* I knew that! So whada we got?

[Arli$$]: After reading from Thinking Strategically, we got dressed during Day to Day while a piece about Lance Armstrong was on. Then we rode Bike to campus via Blackjack Road and parked at The McComas so we could go to the WPSA meeting Wednesday.

[Cartman]: ...That's where we got the drama seed.

[Kenny]: Drama seed what do you mean?

[Arli$$]: *shakes head* That's classified, if you can pick it up by reading the link go ahead. But Britt et al. and Mr. Crowley have already made the decision not to go nuclear.

[Cartman]: Apparently, the big guys decided to play "seesaw" between Mississippi and Tennessee just like we do between the TOC and Campus.

[Kenny]: So what's the plan?

[Arli$$]: Neither the Entertainment crew aboard The McComas nor the Executives in The McCool are cleared for the details, but according to the rumors, we're controling mortal and god take offs so the God Game™ players don't have to do anything but watch "television," living in their own, personal movie and the importantPeople can get all the lockdowns made using fastwalker code.

[Kyle]: Right, though we'll be continuing this method of operation for the rest of eternity, in the moment it's a prep for the Vanderbilt/State game on the 11th.

[Kenny]: The Vanderbilt/State game? What's so special about that?

[Cartman]: Vanderbilt and MSU are the only colleges with governors of their own--the rest are under the control--in one way or another--of the nearby towns--

[Arli$$]: They use them the same way we do, as information processing centers--as for the game itself, we did a big rit at the first home game, that's when The Turman was brought on-line.

What's my motivation....

2008-09-13T14:39:00.000-07:00

[Narrator]: As Britt bends to lace his shoes, a Little Guy asks:

[Little Guy]: I thought we were going to post on the bolg?

["Gaki" #1]: We are~~~~but we want to do something first~~~

[Kevin]: So we're going to get another Dr. Pepper?

[Apollo]: I think the "Gakis" want to go to the place were we heard the drums again too.

["Gaki" #2]: And bum a cigarette off someone too--*turns to Gaki" #1* I love those!

***

[Belthesoul]: Ok, we're back, what were we doing?

[the IGS Mitchell]: The narrator was about to describe the setting.

[The Narrator]: As the Mid-summer Night's Dream Crew waits in the baking sun, pressed against a throng of mortals for the football team to go by, a cheerleader catches That Guy's eye. Addressing her comments to the "Gakis," she notes:

[cheerleader]: And while we're on the subject guys, don't forget, Bulldog Legal Services is going to need a tour bus so we can go to the away games.

[Mitch]: Shit. I forgot about that... she's right--Thanks.

[Sibil]: We should make her a goddess.

[Mary]: You're a goddess.

[Gaki #1]: Let's make some more of the cheerleaders goddesses... they're hot!

[Mitch]: Hang on, I want to see what she does with it--as far as I know, she'll be the only cheerleader goddess who's currently cheerleading.

[That Guy]: Oh, point of fact: Her antisoul said she brought it up, not the monkey, so she's the goddess.

[Apollo]: *grins* This is going to be fun.

[Margo]: What are we waiting on?

[Kevin]: I think the band or the football team or somebody is about to come by.

[Narrator]: As the football team begins walkin toward the stadium, Al asks:

[Al]: Why are they in suits?

[Darren]: I think it's something about gentlemen going off to battle...

[Arli$$]: Or it might be a professionalism thing... you know, preparing them to go pro.

[Mitch]: Woah, woah, woah. no Junior High shit!

[Narrator]: Says Mitch a the back of his right hand, while holding an intent circuit brushes against a girl's butt.

[That Guy]: ....thinking of age regression... hang on, if a chick wants to do Junior High shit, that's fine... don't be tellin' people how to act, it takes the fun out of it.

[Narrator]: As the team members clear the walkway, the crowd begins to slowly move toward the East; Noticing Zone Out Guy starring at the ass of the girl in front of him, a "Gaki" says:

["Gaki" #1]: We haven't figured out the attraction either, but that is a nice one.

[a Little Guy]: Where are we going?

[another Little Guy]: The Arts and Sciences tent I think

[a Little Guy]: Why? we're not hungry. Hey Al, where are we going?

[Al]: Shit if I know, *gestures* the crowd's moving this way. *turns to Darren* Where are we going?

[some woman in the crowd]: The drummers are moving to the circle [infront of the stadium]; who wants to hear a bunch of drums anyway?

[Margo]: We always listen to the drums. Hey! Whoever's driving, get us out of here, we want to hear the drums in front of the stadium.

[Narrator]: As the drums start, Britt et al holds the Sisters, allowin the resonance of the instruments to pulse through it, his body and the bricks below.

[Margo]: *shouting to be heard above the drums* What's that intent circuit for...

[Kevin]: *Yelling above the drums* It's not an intent circuit, it's a chi
circuit, I'm playing a lower level of the God Game™.

[Margo]: So what's it for?

[Kevin]: Hell if I know, it seemed like a good idea at the time and I haven't needed my hand back yet.

[one of Kevin's subs]: Yeah, it's Standard Operating Procedure to hold 'em until you need 'em back"

[Colonel Hogan]: So whats on the agenda?

[Baldur]: *nods to intent circuit* we're working on a blog entry, then while the stadium is full of people, we need to pluck our nose hairs as the chapel bell is ringing so the buildings on campus can use the resonance of the bells to condense shared sailient points from the combination of the CommNet talk and the UN stuff of the "Gaki's" and other Gods in the God Game™.

[LeBeau]: Word on the street is the game will have to last until eight for all that.

[Baldur]: You're shitting me....

[LeBeau]: I am not shitting you, people have things planned.

Captain Kirk... personal log... stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

2008-09-06T17:35:00.000-07:00

[Kirk]: I know we're not crazy...

[Kirk]: At least, if we are crazy, we're a precognitive genius.

[Kirk]: The "voices" in our "head" inform us of things readily available, yet not in our conscious perception... often, these "voices" are right about the occurrence of future events of which we have no 'available' knowledge.

[Kirk]: I have spoken with Mr. Spock, Bones, Checkov, Sulu, Uhura, and Scotty about the phenomena we have been experiencing, and through straight answers have been scarce, they are in agreement on certain salient points....

[Kirk et. al]: If we are crazy, I suspect that we are all crazy together... there... is... no... need....

[Kirk]: to talk about it.

***

Mr. Spock Personal Log, Stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

[Mr. Spock]: Though we don't talk about it face to face, the collective consensus seems to be that the "voices"... feelings really--as feelings that rise to an "audible" level are different from "voices" that are broadcast from a point on the "surface" of a feeling network itself--are actually the interplay of quantum mechanical forces.... The situation is similar to scenes only making sense in a greater context; the mind assimilates the raw data of height, width, depth, sound, etc., combines these with one’s personal knowledge, and “produces” a comprehensible gestalt.

[Mr. Spock]: This quantum mechanical interplay, where even cause and effect are blurred, appears to encompass the whole of everything, "thingness" and "nothingness"; sameness and difference.

[Mr. Spock]: The only way through this Newtonian insanity seems to be for one to live in such a reality fully.... assuming that everything that happens is because they did or noticed something.

[Mr. Spock]: On its face, the theory is simple: if all producers of sense datum are themselves products of the associations of atoms, i.e. molecules, then all "separate" things are akin to symphonies within a genre.

[Mr. Spock]: As these "symphonies of expression" result from a common event: creation, the big bang, an ordering of "the void", it is possible to synchronize the atoms of one's body with the atoms in one's aura. Doing so not only orders the mind, but gives one fantastic abilities--see log entry Stardate 1672.8 re: place memory.

***

Dr. McCoy Phoenix Project Log, Stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

[Dr. McCoy]: We have modeled the magic circulatory system on the familiar hominoid physiology, with this universe as its heart.

[Dr. McCoy]: Though currently we have not found any easily replicable "magic," we have experienced a variety of events which dictate that such must exist:

[Dr. McCoy]: Through, primarily, an astounding number of "coincidences," we have also on occasion observed--or rather, known of--playing cards changing and metal items behaving in strange ways.

[Dr. McCoy]: most notable of these metallic events is a pipe one of our colleagues owns whose flat base was moved to its end... although later the malevolent "entities" which affected/effected the change later fixed the pipe destroying, as it were, our “proof.”

[Dr. McCoy]: The technology of the circulatory system is simple enough: Tactical Operations Command (the TOC) is set up with steel staples that have fishing line running through them--a "hard com" net thought of by the subs. In the four corners of the TOC, a/k/a "The Shack", a/k/a Ahhh(x)h-li, are bar magnets. Inside this perimeter are other magnets, most notably those on the periodic table taped to a steel desk, and the magnets in the speaker of a battery powered radio.

[Dr. McCoy]: The magnets are associated with gravity as both forces, at their fundamental level are unexplainable by early 21st century science and through acts of sorcery. We believe these two forces to be uni/omni dimensional, acting throughout all universes in a giant network.

[Dr. McCoy]: Because the "hard com" net and magnets were installed by "ethereal" suggestion, and because we mark the periodic table with a new magnet each time an element comes up in our personal context, the resulting effect of this "radio dish" is to synch the gestalt feelings (resulting in the "voices") we have been experiencing with our normal "physical" reality, thereby increasing the frequency of co-incidental events, resulting in a oneness of mind and matter so that the "laws" of physics will soon be under our control.

[Dr. McCoy]: "once"--cause and effect are blurred in this 'quantum reality'-- the "radio dish" has collected its data, the data is filtered through campus.

[Dr. McCoy]: Our chief researcher, Corporal Britt Ali... or rather, "his" gestalt of personas, has a deal with The Runes for the propagation of "shadow layer" technology.

[Dr. McCoy]: My--our--understanding is that The Runes are gestalt intelligences of "past" and "future" universes--depending, of course, on one's personal timetrack(s); they exist in this universe as one of many factions in the nothingness layers of atoms. Because The Runes possess rocks as bodies, they have sympathy with the rocks in concrete foundations and use them as "sentry stones"--otherwise known as runes.

[Dr. McCoy et. al]]: ...using campus as a receiving station allows us to coordinate the conversations of the mental, etheric, astral, and causal, life forms that comprise the completion of the gestalt known as the material realm.

***

Professor Snape Project Phoenix project log, Stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

[Professor Snape]: ...Gameday.... or it was when we started this entry--

[Professor Snape]: I couldn't have picked a better "time" to begin my tenure aboard the IGS Phoenix; with a "takeoff" of the IGS Turman full of students and alumni, it won't take "long" to awaken it and it's sister ship, the Polk.

["Professor Snape"]: First however, we will direct our attention towards the Pegasus, the McCool, the McComas, the Mitchell, and--most importantly Ahhh(x)h-li.

[Professor Snape]: As Corporal Ali reads Games Nations Play at the TOC, The Runes and I will "re-wire" campus so that all data is routed through the IGS Woodpecker.

[Professor Snape]: Perhaps the biggest "issue" is the cloaking of Britt et. al's intent signature. Doing so often involves remembering seemingly trivial data one takes for granted. For instance--

["Professor Snape"]: though it doesn't "mesh" well with our post, we're supposed to mention that there is a danger that Project Phoenix (though not as urgent a danger as those ingenous Europeans have birthed) and its use of "Place Memory Technology™", that we might end up with a bunch of Britt et. al. clones running around with different personal knowledge.

[Professor Snape]: For this reason, all students are advised to read the post describing how Britt got the way he/she/it is.

["Professor Snape"]: As That Guy is rather long winded, pay particular attention to the part about The Doctor in the middle of the page.

Status Report

2008-08-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

[the Sub Conglomerate Designated Stapel #5 (the SCDS#5)]: Hey all you muggles....

[Britt et. al]: OK, here's what's going on:

[John]: We've apparantly been 'fighting' a bunch of people that were 'invented' in some kind of omnicient, foundation level war game and are in the process of mopping up.

[Elaine]: Because they've always existed and were created through a war gam we started, they apparantly have full time power.

[Eugene]: So when the bank balance was a lot more than the last time we checked, we bought a bunch of CD's, some fresh cards, and got a hotel room.

[The Kernel]: Currently, we've got the cards set up, on one bed, a copy of the magazine Seventeen open on the other bed and the television on HBO.

[Richard]: We took of to type this post during the trial scene of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the plan is to go eat a buffet at the nearest Chinese Restaurat.

[Yang]: We need to cross post to Magic School.

[Yin]: Right. *turns to you* If you've got a piece of this, the most important thing to remember is that you're "living in a movie"....

[the SCDS#10]: Right... if you're looking for magic, don't disbelieve Shit!

[the SCDS#42]: Joe out.

***update***

[S.H.I.E.L.D.]: What's going on?

[Vampire Bat Computer]: That's pretty much indescribable given the paramaters of the English language.

[Britt et. al]: The way we're thinking of it is that we're the epicenter of a dialogue between all the electron obitals and the "nothingness" layers of every atom in every universe.

[Mary (bulked up by The Doctor)]: In each of these forums, there exist gestalt intelligences that are battling for supremacy... we'd love to talk to someone else to see how it's comming across.

[Colonel O'Neil]: We're sending you a GDI: --.-- room 202 Hampton Inn, Starkville Mississippi, USA

Yeah, yeah.... you're sane already

2008-08-19T14:24:00.000-07:00

[Kevin]: I thought, "A voice of sanity crying out in the wilderness," was going to be the title.

[Some Ethereal Bastard]: It was... somebody had a problem with the whole Pump Up The Volume thing--

[A Rattlesnake]: Plus it just smelled like a plan, and you know how that works...

[a little guy]: First they plan a sentence, then they plan a takeoff, and pretty soon they're planning your "life" again.

[Reggie]: Uh yeah guys, we're typing on the blog and monkey talk rules apply...

[Mary]: *to the little guy* You and me both know how it works, so there's no need to tell potential enemies; besides, talkin' about how "they" plan your "life" is crazy talk as far as mortals are concerned.

[Jesus]: *asking to the whale* OK. So why'd we need to post again?

[the whale]: Something about "born here's"-- mortals not being as strong as you guys are.

[Jimmy]: Is it just me, or does it feel like we're typing on the LJ?

[Apollo]: Kinda, the people we're part of now are comfortable with that interface for posting--

[The Commodore]: They're probably using it as a filter for purposes better left unsaid.

[S.H.I.E.L.D.]: Guys you're "part of" now.... So you guys made some new friends?

[Jesus]: Well yeah... assuming they exist and all.

[some Angel]: Enough!

[Narrator]: As a Rattlesnake slips the unnamed angel a twenty, he continues...

[the Angel]: I thought we were talking about money?

[the Rattlesnake]: OK, so the plan is for these guys to pay us a million dollars to use the technology?

[Jesus]: Yeah. I mean the crap we've got for magic right "now" pretty much sucks, but it works great for espionage--

[Flash]: And with them testing the Beta version,

[Nightwing]: We're making the monkey interface better than we've had it since Noah.

[An Ethereal Bastard]: OK, so there are 5 licenses?

[Jesus]: Right, so we can have a flexible multi-polar system we can get feedback from instead of America running around like a drunk teenager with a gun.

[That Guy]: See, it's not that little g's don't listen to you guys, it's just that we know that's not what you said anyway.

[the Koala Bear]: So you guys are saying that because of the monotheism of the humans, America's is the only voice you hear?

[Jesus]: That we can make coherent sense of... I mean don't get me wrong, the streams, the wind, and the smell of fresh flowers are great, but as far as making decisions.... *everyone nods*

[Sibil]: The pretty much suck.

[MI5]: OK, so what are we doing?

[Victoria]: Charging up the laundry.

[Ty]: Right, now that Einstein Bros. is open until 8 again, the plan is to get some coffee and charge up the laundry with the Saratoga cigarettes we bought at the Sprint Mart by McDonalds while the clothes were in the wash.

[MI5]: And what will that do? Cause a rip in the spacetime continuum?

[Starbuck]: No... that will allow us to use the adversarial sympathy the fleet has amassed during the war.

[S.H.I.E.L.D.]: So why are you telling us?

[Apollo]: *shrugs* it was coming across that you guys needed some reassurance that you weren't crazy and/or that we still had "friendlies" in charge over here.

[MI5]: So what's been going on?

[GRU]: Yes, what's with the long silences?

[the slivers]: We're just re-centering on Britt's universe instead of having stuff sucked away frm here all the time.

[That Guy]: *looks outside* Shit, we need to get that coffee before they close. See-ya.

What do you guys want to put for a title? ....Shasbat! I don' know....

2008-08-11T13:51:00.000-07:00

[Ethereal Bastard #1]: We did it!

[Ethereal Bastard Control]: You're in?

[Ethereal Bastard #2]: We've been "in" -- we changed the password on "the blog" to keep that asshole britt et al. from messing up our stuff.

[Koala Bear]: You guys sure they aren't "pulling a fast one" on you?

[Rattle Snake #1]: Britt et al.'s a pretty crafty bunch.

[Ethereal Bastard #2]: We'll see how crafty they are when the can't log in.

[Marduk]: What are you guys going to do when they look at the blog? *turns to Loki* This reminds me of something the subs did on the LJ.

ComCheck.... again?

2008-08-08T11:17:00.000-07:00

[Jesus]: When are up guys going to get this shit worked out?

[Leo]: What's his problem.

[Mary]: Some Superfund site he's been working on--

[Sibil]: Or that garbage patch thing.

[Leo]: Oh... so what book are we reading?

[Apollo]: Currently we're a few pages into Games Nations Play by Spanier and Wendzel.

[Colonel Hogan]: *touches his chin* What was the build-up?

[the Sub Conglomerate Designated Stapel #37(the SCDS#37)]: We were reading Sandworms of Dune and everyone absolutely loved the political structure of the society... so they asked the people controlling the body to read the original Dune--

[That Guy]: So we pulled a fast one on them and stopped right when Muad'dib rallies the Fremen to take Araakas back from the Harkonens to read Games.

[Jesus]: So what's the deal, you guys aren't fighting for control of your own heads are you?

[Leo]: Not too much... why?

[Margo]: We've been getting "conflicting" reports; between our Enemies, People who don't know the difference between an enemy and a strong monkey, concerns across the universe, and crap from everywhere else, it's tough to separate unless you're "up-top" all the time.

[Q]: You guys still aren't very powerful huh?

[Darren]: Well for Christ's sake, it's a big beach!

[Jesus]: Yeah, but we've about got this grain of sand subdued.

[Baldur]: Hey guys, we’ve got to jet... somebody really needs a cigarette if you know what I mean.

Bulldog Legal Services E-blog

I said what??!!

ok, but....

So they said, "you are more likely to get truth fom error than you are from confusion."

In view of recent legislation making it a crime to impersonate another online:

"He's" a Monster!Who?Britt!

You Sunday blogger you.… (Formerly titled “Just Another Neutral Sunday…wish it was Monday… that’s my fun day….”

Huh!

No Title?Nah.... We're like....not finished yet....

Burned Your Dictionary Yet?

[Lor]: This is GREAT!

What would you do-o-o-o... for a Klondike bar?

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellowman is either a fool or a coward, whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both,

[Endora]: You're serious?[Tabbitha]: Yep, I want ALL of it...[Endora]: And what will you do when you have everything?

Rules of Kinky Sex:#1: Never give a blind chick a rim-job.

Tire Base II....

Tire Base....

I said no.... damnit.... we're not doing that right now, we're gonna finish this article first....(update 4 links)

Puck's Back!

Mission Accomplished!

Hey You! NSA Guy--Yeah You!

What movies are we watching?

OK, that's done...What do you guys want to do next?I dunno, somebody said go look around for some free food....

Oh my God... he really is crazy....But is he a security risk? That's the question....

Huh....

Hey Earth Kids!

I've been here before....

Workin' for a livin'

Whatever... good point though--the line/note thing "I" mean....

Hey man.... you know in music? You ever wonder what the lines sound like?Not the notes but the lines man....

You got those two coins?

OK... What're we doin' here?

What the hell?

Maybe it's a sign....

Hey Britt, we've got shit to do....

No More Rounding!

Comcheck....

May The Force Be With "You"

It's stone soup.... simple as that.***UPDATE***

Jesus Christ! How long has it been since we checked the email?

Workin' for a livin'

Damn... I wish we could change the name too....

Wash Day

What the hell are you DOING?!!!

We finally got all the email checked--Laws Yes!

[Dude]: What was it "you" said to title the post?[GOD]: Something about "I've been briefed"....

Starbuck: Ok... Vipers out, Ravens in... got it--

Re: Magic Team Alpha and associated Entities

Captain Kirk... personal log... stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"(Magic Team Alpha, Operation Drawing Down the Moon--repost)

Attention on Deck!

Playing with the Queen of Hearts

General Zod!!! Whassup?

Comcheck.... Houston, we have a 'go' for launch…. *motions thumb around* I mean--We-- repeat .... "We have a 'go' for launch"....

I feel a Pann-Farr comming on.... (...is that like some kind of Vulcan holiday?)

Comcheck....

Well that's that....

Ohhh.... I see....

A Woo-Woo.... I'm te-ll-IN!

What's my motivation....

Captain Kirk... personal log... stardate 1672.9, episode: "The Enemy Within"

Status Report

Yeah, yeah.... you're sane already

What do you guys want to put for a title? ....Shasbat! I don' know....

ComCheck.... again?

It's stone soup.... simple as that.UPDATE

Comcheck.... Houston, we have a 'go' for launch…. motions thumb around I mean--We-- repeat .... "We have a 'go' for launch"....